"And where exactly are you headed to? Surely not to pick a fight with whoever hit your brother... right?"
I felt my face heat up from the accurate accusation and shook my head slowly.
"N-No-"
"Your first words to me are lies?" He clicked his tongue...
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It's been about a month and a half since the near-drowning experience. Willow and Stefan worked out everything. Turns out, Willow loves him too he just kind of caught her off guard.
That Ezra man came back to the hospital the next day for a couple of minutes. Apparently, he's a millionaire? Who knew. I've been dealing with my own crap, trying to get a job to pass the time but apparently, this time of year is when everyone has already swiped up all of the part-time jobs that I want.
I haven't heard from Matteo. At all. I call his phone and reach his voicemail. I send texts and they don't go through. I email him and they don't go through. He has cut all ties with me and everyone else indefinitely. When I realized that, it threw me back into a depressed fit. I couldn't even get out of bed much less think about eating or taking care of myself. Gino nursed me back to health with the help of Willow and Stefan.
I haven't traveled anywhere due to not wanting to, so I've just been posting drafts on my Instagram. No one has noticed that I haven't actually gone anywhere so I feel like I may need to soon. I need to get back to doing what I love. I need to move on, God knows Matteo has.
I sighed as I scrolled through pictures of Stefan with me and Milo. Then I scrolled through pictures of Stefan, Savannah, and me. We all used to be so happy. Granted, Stef is currently happy. But Milo is dead. Savannah is dead. And I feel dead.
I put my phone down next to me on the bed and sighed before I walked into Matteo's room, grabbing the bottle of whiskey he always kept in his nightstand. I grabbed it and walked back to my bedroom, unscrewing the cap and taking a big swig.
I cringed at the putrid taste, I never really did like whiskey. If I drank, I always liked mixed drinks or a wine cooler. But right now, all I have is Matteo's whiskey to temporarily fix my broken heart. And that's okay with me. It has to be.
I turned on the TV and began watching The Vampire Diaries again from the beginning. I kept drinking the whiskey religiously until two episodes in and I've almost drunk half the bottle. I can't even focus on the screen anymore, everything is swaying and the words coming from Elena and Stefan's mouth are slurring.
A knock sounded on my door and I turned my head to see Benny in the doorway. He took in my drunk, pathetic excuse of a stance and sighed, "How'd I know that you would be drunk?"
I looked at him, bored, "'Cause drunk is bet... ter than sobeeer."
He grabbed the whiskey bottle and studied it, "This is the only brand of whiskey Matteo will drink." I nodded as I hiccuped one unison and he looked up at me with pity swimming in his eyes, "This will get better, Sammie. I promise."
I laughed after those words spewed from his mouth. I laughed so hard I clutched my stomach and fell over on the bed. I continued laughing whilst Benny looked at me with pursed lips, contemplating on how to help me. But I don't want his help. I don't want anyone's help.
"Better? The l-love of... my lifffe is gone..." I laughed and hiccuped before feeling sick to my stomach. God, I hate whiskey.
"Are you going to throw up?" Benny asked calmly and I nodded.
He grabbed the trash can and held it to my face just in time before I spewed the alcoholic contents in the bin. He grabbed my hair out of my face and pulled it into a half ponytail/ half-bun. I continued throwing up lazily into the trash.
Isn't it ironic? I felt like crap sober because of Matteo and now I feel like crap drunk because of Matteo.
"The sy... symbolism is gr-eately appreciated," I hiccuped before I gagged quietly and threw up again.
Benny snorted and shook his head, "I'm gonna get Willow in here to help you bathe. You got puke on your face." I nodded, continuing to puke up all of the alcoholic contents that remained in my belly as he left to grab my best friend.
"This isss gross," I slurred to myself. Before puking up bile. It made my throat burn and my eyes water before I dry-heaved once again.
The door opened, revealing Willow. She walked over to me and rubbed my back before standing me up and walking me to the bathroom. The bathroom that I shared with Matteo.
"Come on, sweetie. Let's get your clothes off," she cooed and I nodded as I lazily began stripping. I caught a glimpse of my naked body in the mirror and lightly traced the gunshot scar on my belly, "I was da-dancing..."
"What?" Willow asked as she looked at what I was doing in the mirror after she turned the water on in the shower.
"I woke uppp... and danced w-with Matteo... bef-before I was shottt," I slurred as tears pricked my eyes. She nodded knowingly before turning me around towards the shower. She walked me inside, straying away from the water so she wouldn't get wet, "Do you need help or can you wash by yourself?"
"M-Myself," I mumbled and she nodded, leaving the bathroom to let me do so.
But before I could even wash, I slid down the shower wall and thought about the night we danced. My hands around his neck and his hands resting on my hips. He had just insulted my dancing and it made me laugh.
He was looking at me with the most admiration I had ever seen in anyone's eyes. He was admiring my face, taking in everything. He may not have told me he loved me right then, but I could feel it.
By the soft swaying of our dancing and the way he was watching me, I could feel the love he felt for me. It was perfect.
And now he's gone and I crave his touch. I crave that love. I crave that one in the morning dancing. I crave his hugs and his kisses. I crave him.
