JanTom: Complete Opposites

Chapter Sixty-Four : I'm Sorry

Chapter Sixty- Four : I'm Sorry

   
          Alright, what to say? I don't know exactly how to start up a conversation. I'm bad at it already and now that the situation is awkward, it's even harder. He was the one who suggested he had something to say, yet he hasn't spoken a single thing.

    I knew it. He's still mad at me. He's probably shrugging the matter just earlier morning to not cause ruckus. He's most likely here to reprimand me and make my eyes roll to the back of my eyes out of boredom and soul crushing moment.

       "Sorry Janna."

    I blinked, then gazed at him. He continues, ruffling his tousled pink cotton candy coloured hair. "--I went too far. I was just worried about you. I know that I don't really have any right to restrict you wherever you want to go---but you never really go out and I thought something happened."

    "I'd be responsible and guilty about it," he sighs, voice sounding heavy.

     He turns to look at me sheepishly and guilty like a dog with droopy ears. I do admit that took me by surprise. He was so angry that I was expecting to be punched at the face--not that he'd do it, but there was that possibility. "Will you forgive me?"

       There was nothing really for him to apologize about. If anything, maybe I would have also been worried, but I'd do it subtly and not in a wrecking manner like he did.

     "Apology accepted."

     He lets out a faint smile, releasing a relieving sigh as if he'd just went through the most scariest, toe curling moment of his life. Tch. Dramatic as usual.  

      "Wanna stay a bit longer?" he suggested, leaning back with his shoulders now more relaxed and his arms spread out to his back. "---the moon looks beautiful tonight."

      He stares at the night view above and I followed, lifting my own head too. I don't have anything to do and there's nothing waiting for me back home. I could stay a bit longer, maybe even admire the stars that twinkle like lights. The stars feel so near and yet realization strikes you that they're million of light years away.  It's just parallax or whatever that was.

      "What do you want to be, Janna?" Tom asks, breaking the cricket silence.

     Me? What exactly do I want to be? I've always thought about it--at least for preparation when time comes that I'd have to pick a choice; yet I'm still left indecisive. I don't really have goals or dreams in life--maybe to someday have all original collections of John Keat's books--but nothing serious to mention. When it comes to occupation, I don't really have any preferred profession. It seems scary and isolating that other people know what they want in life, while I have no clue.

     "I don't know," I replied after a long pause. "---I don't have dreams and I don't know what I'm good at."

     "You?"

  "Me?" he slightly raises his pitch, then clears his throat. "---well... I'd like to be a veterinarian."

       I nod. "Hmm. That kind of suits you. You really like animals--especially cute things do you, Tom?"

      He coyly smiled, scratching his lightly tinted cheeks with his pointer finger. "You think so?"

       "If anything, it's like your calling," I assured him, laying on my back and continued to stare up above, my hands under my head as cushions. There's a high possiblity a worm or some bugs would caress my skin or might even enter my uniform---but I'd worry about it when it really happens.