JanTom: Complete Opposites

Chapter Sixty-Five : Surprise

Chapter Sixty-Five : Surprise

Dedicated to : xaroubiii

"I'm giving up my feelings for you, Janna."

I was pretty sure I heard him right. Deep inside, I thought he was lying; that he was just saying this as a prank to hurt me---to get back for making him worry--but he was sincere and firm when he said those words. He looks as if he's finally came into terms and is going to move forward.

I would be lying if my heart didn't felt like someone wrung it and it ached more than when I tripped
myself or when I was shunned by people. My breath became ragged like someone had taken the air from my lungs; my throat stings and my body feels numb like when the world felt like crashing down.

So is this how heartache feels like?

It hurts so bad. So bad that I want someone to wrap a band aid on it and convince me that everything was fine when it wasn't. It's kind of funny how I promised myself I wouldn't feel this way just for a guy..and yet I did. I like him way too much that it's making me conflicted, angry and filled with anguish.

I couldn't say anything. There was nothing left to say. In the first place, I didn't have the right to speak the words anymore. It's too late. I'm always...late.

. . .

The walk to home was silent. Not a single person was in sight and only three or two cars passed by once in a while; the streetlights were flickering and the crickets were chirping in full mood. It didn't help that the weather was icy cold and it made my legs freeze--but I couldn't be bothered to feel the shiver since I was cold inside.

Our shoes were clacking once in a while and sometimes I'd stepped on a pebble--but that's about it. I stole a glance at the guy who walked beside me---only that he was farther from me--as if I was contagious to him. How funny how things have turned to be. If anything, I mostly hated how he was always near and touching me as he please but now I wanted him to hold me. I've really become a sappy person.

Things were going to change again between us. He's going to distance himself from me until we both just separate ways. I've always embraced myself with that thought--that he'd leave when he got tired of me and now it scares me. He means so much to me that I don't want to lose him and yet there's nothing I can do.

With my pride reigning over me, I chose to seal my mouth and swallow in the tears that were burning on my the back of my eyes. I wasn't going to cry over a guy even if it rips me to pieces.

It was a second late when I realize I was finally in front of my own home. I was emotionally tired and all I want now was to just sulk in my room and watch some horror movies to hide the numbing pain in my chest. If only for a second it could make me forget I would do it.

Taking one sharp breath, I take the first shaky steps until I was inches far from him. Without muttering a word of farewell, I turned my back against him and fidget around my pockets for the keys.

I grabbed them with my cold stricken fingers and inserted in the door knob when I paused, then twist the doorknob open and to my surprise it was unlocked all along.

I remove my keys and warily open the door wide, the light from the living room seeping through the door and the blaring on tv was raucous.

A head pops out of nowhere; my eyes widened to my surprise as my heart takes a leap, then settles when my vision takes ahold to who it was. It was Pony Head---or so what she likes to call herself since her real name was "boring."