Secrets

It's all my fault

Luke's P.O.V-

I sit alone outside Maddie's room waiting for the moment I can talk to her doctor. All I've done since Maddie had been here is cry and blame myself, it was my fault this had happened.

"Luke, I got you a coffee" Calum says handing me a coffee. I take a sip and he sits beside me.

"Calum, this is my fault"

"No it's not Luke, you weren't the one who drove into her. Stop blaming yourself"

"If I didn't kiss that fucking idiot none of this would be happening"

"Why did you kiss her in the first place? I thought you really liked Maddie?"

'I love Maddie it's just Steph did an awful lot of things like Maddie and I...I fell for it. I was tipsy, I would've believed anything" I covered my eyes as the tears slipped out.

"Hey, it's okay Luke, I'm here" Calum puts his arm around me and cuddles me, I always felt secure when someone did that.

"Calum I love her so much and I've messed it all up" I cry and see the doctor.

"Luke?" I stand up as Maddie's doctor comes over.

"Yes doctor?"

"I just asked the nurses and it's okay for you to see Maddie. Right now, she had a couple of bruises but it just looks like she's sleeping"  I nod.

"You coming Calum?"

"Do this on you own, have some alone time" He smiles and I follow the doctor. He opens the door and I see her bed. I walk over and look a Maddie's beautiful face that had now been covered in blood and scratches. It was hard to look at considering she looked like she had gone through intense pain to get them.

"I'll leave you alone with her for a while"  He smiles and closes the door leaving Maddie and I alone. I sit beside her and take her hand in mine. I remember back to the film 'If I stay' which Maddie dragged me to the cinema to watch, that girl could hear even when she was in a coma. I kept this in mind as I spoke to Maddie.

"Hey mads. I just want to apologise for everything I did that night. I didn't mean to kiss her she just tried so hard to be like you. Not that that's an excuse but I'm so sorry. If it makes you feel better, she was nothing like you anyway. I didn't want to kiss her but she came onto me and when she kissed me I made myself believe it was you. Damn I'm such a dick" I close my eyes and let the tears fall down my cheeks.

After a while of just chatting away and hoping she'll wake up, I remember the one thing Maddie loves before she goes to sleep.

'Oh whoa whoa oh, oh oh oh
Oh whoa whoa oh
[x2]

I need your love to light up this house
I wanna know what you're all about
I wanna feel you feel you tonight
I wanna tell you that it's alright

I need your love to guide me back home
When I'm with you, I'm never alone
I need to feel you feel you tonight
I need to tell you that it's alright

We'll never be as young as we are now
It's time to leave this old black and white town
Let's seize the day
Let's run away
Don't let the colors fade to grey
We'll never be as young as we are now
As young as we are now

Oh whoa whoa oh, oh oh oh
Oh whoa whoa oh

I see myself here in your eyes
Stay awake 'till the sunrise
I want to hold you hold you all night
I want to tell you that you're all mine

I feel our hands intertwined
Hear our hearts beating in time
I need to hold you hold you all night
I need to tell you that you're all mine

We'll never be as young as we are now
It's time to leave this old black and white town
Let's seize the day
Let's run away
Don't let the colors fade to grey
We'll never be as young as we are now
As young as we are now

We won't wait
For tomorrow
It's too late
We don't follow
[x2]

We'll never be as young as we are now
It's time to leave this old black and white town
Let's seize the day
Let's run away
Don't let the colors fade to grey
We'll never be as young as we are now
As young as we are now

Oh whoa whoa oh, oh oh oh
Oh whoa whoa oh
[x2]

As young as we are now'

Throughout the whole song, I cry making it sound terrible. It didn't matter though because I knew she loved that song and would appreciate it no matter how it sounded.

I stand up and examine her wounds. I touch ever scar across her cheek, every bruise upon her skin. The doctors had told me she had a broken leg and I knew she hated the thought of a cast.

She always said she remembered when her mum pushed her while she was on her bike and he braking her arm as she flew down a hill. I remember flinching as she told me that story but all I could think of now was her parents. They didn't care that day, they never cared. Their daughter was lying in a hospital, in a coma but they were no where to be seen.

"Maddie, please wake up. Please be okay. I know this is all my fault and just wish better for you. I don't mind if you hate me or you never want to see me again, just please wake up. If you're here, watching this like Mia was in that film, know that I'm helping you choose to stay' I begin to cry again as I imagine Maddie never waking up.

I fall asleep, deep in thought. All I could think of was Maddie being extremely hurt over me. why was I such an idiot.

_________________________________

this story isn't even realistic I'm sorry