A Little Calm...

Honesty

Rise Up - Andra Day

Once again, you awake to the steady beat of your heart rate monitor. As soon as your eyes begin to flutter open, you feel the cold vibranium clasp round your hand. You look to your left to see Bucky sitting forward in his seat.

Bucky
"Hey, how're you feeling?"

Y/n
"Tired. Did it work?"

Bucky
"They don't know yet. They need to run some of those tests again."

Y/n
"When?"

Bucky
"They said a week, once you're stronger and healed up."

Y/n
"No I feel good, I can do them now."

Bucky
"Y/n, you just told me you were tired."

Y/n
"I can do it, I promise."

You begin to sit up, pushing the covers away from you, only to be stopped by Bucky placing his hand over yours.

Bucky
"Y/n... stop."

You place your other hand over his and sit forward slightly, looking him dead in the eye.

Y/n
"Please. I can do this."

There's a brief moment as you look into each other's eyes, where you can see him debating what to do.

Y/n
"I wanna go home, James."

He's taken back a little by your use of his first name. Instead of arguing with you any longer, he gently shakes his head as he looks down into his own lap.

Bucky
"Okay, I'll get the doctor."

Y/n
"Thank you."

Bucky
"But first, I have to talk to you. There's something you should know."

You lean back against your pillows and pull the sheets back up to your waist.

Y/n
"Okay..."

Bucky
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you when I first found out, but I wanted to make sure it wasn't a false alarm."

Y/n
"Okay, now you're scaring me."

Bucky
"After you left the conference room, that snarky doctor told me about something else, another fallout."

He paused briefly to regain eye contact with you before continuing.

Bucky
"Because the gamma radiation effected your DNA, it changed your cells. All of your cells."

Y/n
"Just skip to the punch line, what's going on?"

Bucky
"Your reproductive cells were affected too..."

You look down at your fingers twitching around each other.

Y/n
"Are you saying... are you saying I can't..."

Bucky
"No! No, not that we know of... He thinks that any children we potentially have could be affected in a similar way. And with the serum effecting my cells, there's no way of telling how they'd interact."

You take a second to digest his words, still unclear of their meaning.

Y/n
"So... so what does that mean?"

Before answering, Bucky reaches across to sit on the edge of the bed, holding your hands.

Bucky
"Some people, may be threatened. Or see it as an opportunity."

Y/n
"A child? They're threatened by a non existent child that has hypothetical abilities? What are they gonna do, it's not their decision."

Bucky
"I know. But if they're concerned enough, I'm not sure how far they'll go to neutralise it."

Y/n
"What, like separate us?"

You give an amused laugh before looking back at the concerned look behind Bucky's eyes.

Y/n
"Okay, something a little darker then."

Just the thought of having a kid puts both of you and the baby in danger.

Y/n
"What are our options then?"

Bucky
"We have some protection from Fury, but there's only so much he can do. Other than that, adoption."

Y/n
"Who is they, anyway?"

Bucky
"We don't know, this is just a precaution. If Hydra and other organisations have been able to operate so far under the radar, it wouldn't be a shock to find out that there are others who'd happily get involved with a mutant baby. Plus we already know that the intelligence community is scared of you so god knows how they'll react to it."

Y/n
"Wait, so why are we so worried if nobody's actually raised concern yet?"

Bucky
"Because I've almost lost you twice now and I'll be damned if it happens again! To you, or our baby."

You watch as his head falls to look at the sheets in front of him, body language completely exhausted. Instinctively, you raise a hand to cup his jaw, stroking his stubbled cheek gently with your thumb.

Bucky
"I can't do it. I won't. Not again."

Y/n
"You can't look over your shoulder all our lives, Buck. I know, you wanna protect me. But right now, I don't need you to. Sharon's behind bars, Fury's dealt with the authorities; this is the opportunity to have some calm."

You feel him nod gently in your hand, but you know it'll take him a lot longer than a minute to suddenly become anxiety free.

Y/n
"Besides, the baby thing is a ways in the future yet."

Tilting his head up with a smile, you lean forward to kiss him on the forehead. With one smooth action, you guide him to lie down with his head resting on your chest. Wrapping his arms either side of your torso, he manoeuvres slightly to a comfier position.