A Little Calm...

Lonely But Not Alone

The End Of The World - Josefien

*Bucky's POV*

The next few weeks are somewhat painful. I check in every day for an hour or two. I just sit there and read, sometimes aloud. They say that people in comas can here everything around them so I thought I might as well provide some entertainment. Plus it gives me a chance to catch up on modern literature. In talking to Alice, she said that y/n wasn't a massive book worm, but she lent me the few books she did have in her apartment. At the moment we're reading Eragon. It's fantasy so I enjoy it, but it's distracting to constantly be checking on her. Making sure her chest is still rising and falling.
Sometimes Alice will come in too for updates and just get some work done in the corner of the room. We haven't spoken much but we're comfortable just sitting in each others silence.
They've told us that if she doesn't wake up in a month, they'll have to move her to the coma ward. She can't stay in a private room forever and they need the bed, so we agreed without questioning it. I don't particularly want to see her officially registered as a coma patient but Alice said that she wouldn't want to cause a fuss.

Every now and then, my brain tricks me into thinking that I saw her move. The staff probably hate me by now for the amount of times I've called them in for a false alarm. I can't help but feel some guilt. I couldn't have done anything to prevent it, make it worse etc. Quite apart from the last thing I said to her, she cares about me. And that puts her in danger.
I'm half way down my page as I think this. I stop and look at her for a moment. Most people get to know each other because they have something in common, or through mutual friends. She dragged herself into this world because of me. We didn't get to know each other, we googled each other. There is nothing natural or healthy about us. And yet the more I stay, the more I want to talk to her. To know the person who was willing to risk her life for me. Because she believed that I was a good person based on instinct. I didn't deserve that, but she trusted me anyway. If nothing else, I owe her a thank you at least. Or an apology. And the thought of never being able to say it...