A Little Calm...

Blown to Shit

Hypersonic Missiles - Sam Fender

It's the next day and you've spent the whole morning reliving the gala. Although the article is still nagging at you, the balcony is all you can think about. After he was done being thanked (which he hated every second of), you split a cab and he walked you to your door and gave you a small goodnight kiss. The perfect gentleman.
Sipping your coffee every so often, you begin to plan what the hell you're going to do about John. You know that nothing will stop him from publishing the piece, unless he gets something more interesting to fill it's place. Finding something more interesting than an inside view of an avengers life is going to be nearly impossible but it's worth a shot. Even if Bucky doesn't know that you wrote it, he can suspect. And the anger it'll cause may make him point the finger regardless.
You're staring at the blank page on your computer when your buzzer goes.

Y/n
"Who is it?"

You lean on the door waiting for a response.

Bucky
"Uh hey, it's me."

You can't help but smile at the sound of his voice.

Y/n
"Come on up!"

You buzz him in and subsequently turn to look at your apartment. Quickly, you clear the few dirty dishes and general clutter. When you hear the knock on the door, you brush down your clothes slightly, tuck your hair behind your ears and open the door with a smile.

Read All About It - Emeli Sandé

Y/n
"Hey!"

Your face drops slightly when you see his expression. He barely looks at you as he walks past, pushing a newspaper into your hands.

Bucky
"Tell me you didn't write it."

You look down at the paper and instantly know what he's talking about. Holding onto false hope that it's not what you think, you begin sifting through the paper.

Y/n
"Write what?"

When you come to the page, you see familiar sentences and word choices. Skipping to the end, you also see your name plastered across the bottom.
You raise your head towards him, looking guiltier than ever.

Y/n
"Just, let me explain-"

He begins walking back out but you catch his arm before he can slam the door behind him. He looks at you with nothing but pain.

Bucky
"All the things you wrote about. How I was living in Bucharest. My time as the Winter Soldier. What happened in Washington. How long have you been writing about it?"

He continues to look at your eyes, but you can't hold his gaze out of shame.

Y/n
"I wrote it when I came out of the blip. It was a distraction, which I know isn't an excuse but the only reason my boss even saw it is because I accidentally sent him the wrong file. I begged him not to use it but once he had a copy he wouldn't let it go."

He looked down at your hand around his arm and twisted it so that you let go.

Bucky
"You know, I didn't choose to share that stuff with you. You made it your business, and I trusted you to keep it that way. Now everyone has even more reason to see me as a monster."

With that, he left calmly. Obviously he just didn't want to waste anymore energy on you or on being angry. You walk to the staircase and watch as he reaches the bottom floor and leaves. When you hear the front door close, you turn and stumble back into your apartment. You close the door and slide down it, letting out the tears you tried so desperately to conceal. You know you deserve every piece of contempt he now holds for you, but you thought you'd have more time to work something out.