Chasing Chances.

C56: Reconciliation

Writinginnosense © Stories

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CHAPTER 56

"Reconciliation"

SAMANTHA'S POV

"Kelan ka pa natutuong magsigarilyo?" Mio asked me, ramdam ko ang awtoridad sa boses niya but I felt anger surfacing me kaya naman inalis ko ang kamayniyang nakahawak sa braso ko. "You seriously hope I would answer you?" I asked and glared at him.

His look is deadly but I won't back down, at kung gusto kong simulan ang pagtahak ko sa pangarap ko, might as well send him away. Ayokong mapalapit ulit sa kanya, and him caring for me like this would surely send me off the path, and I can't afford to do something irrational now. Isang maling galawa ko lang at tapos ang lahat ng pinaghirapan ko.

"No, alam kong hindi. Pero eto na naman ako, umaasa na magpapaliwanag ka." He said, his chest is rising up and down violnetly as if controlling his anger. At first hindi ko alam ag sasabihin ko, it seemed ambiguous to me, hindi ko alam kung anong tinutukoy niya, etong pagsisigarilyo o yung tungkol sa nakaraan namin, and I chose the former. "Ano bang dapat kong ipaliwanag? That whenever I'm stressed ay nagsisigarilyo ako? Yun ba gusto mong marinig?" I asked.

"Ayokong sabihin mo lang ang dahilan mo dahil sa ito yung gusto kong marinig!! Gusto ko, sabihin mo kung ano ba talaga yung dahilan.!!" He shouted at me, I was caught off guard pero hindi ko ipinahalata iyon sa kanya at tinumbasan ko ang matalas na tingin niya sa akin.

"I'm stressed. That's all!!" I shouted back at him. "Stress? Stress saan?" He asked, namewang na siya habang hindi pa rin nababago ang matalas niyang tingin sa akin. "Do you have to know?" I mocked him pero hindi ko inaasahan ang sagot niya sa akin. "Bakit? Gaya dati? Na hindi ako nagtanong kaya hindi ka nagpaliwanag? Ganon ba ulit ngayon Samantha?" I can hear bitterness in his voice, at the moment wala akong maisip, parang biglang nag-blanko ang isip ko. I didn't expect him to bring it up. It's past, at akala ko tapos na siya sa past, na ako na lang ang nagmu-move on.

"Paano magkakaroon ng sagot kung walang tanong?" I asked him. He snickered at my question. "Paano itatanong ang isang bagay na alam mo na ang tanong? It's common sense that I at least should have gotten an explanation." He said, his voice becoming controlled. Hindi ko na alam kung ang pinag-uusapan pa ba namin ay yung tungkol sa sigarilyo o sa nakaraan namin, although I don't know as well ay pinilit ko pa ring sumagot.

"So you waited? Well, I'll tell you, you won't get any." I turn my back at him at naglakad pabalik sa rest house pero hinawakan niya ako sa braso, napalingon ako sa kanya at doon ko nakitang nakayuko siya. I can't see his face but I could feel his sadness.

"Aalis ka na naman? Lagi ka na lang tumatalikod kapag hindi mo na kaya, kelan mo ba matututunang harapin ang problema mo? Hindi ka nagpaliwanag sa akin dati, I would accept anything, it's the least that you can do, pero ngayon? Fck!! Ganon pa rin ba Samantha?" Halos manghina ako when his voice breaks pero para lang akong na-estatwa, hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin o kung anong sasabihin, it was as if pinamukha niya kung gaano ka heartless. Kung gaano ako ka-selfish.

We were like that for a few minutes, yung masayang dalampasigan kanina ay tila ba nawalan ng mga tao, the silence is maddening, and the more that I stand there, the more the anger is growing inside me, nagagalit ako sa sarili ko, at sa pagiging Steffan ko, if it wasn't for that, nothing could happen, but what's done is done. There's no way I could retrieve it back.

Unti-unti niya binitiwan ang brasoko at nakayukong naglakad pabalik sa resthouse. Napatingin ako sa likuran niya, gaya ng dati, wala akong nagawa. It was like that scene all over again but the feeling is much much worse. Hindi ako makagalaw, I wanted to run into him, hug him, and explain everything to my hearts's content pero ayaw makipag-cooperate ng katawan ko, at para lang ako estatwang nakatayo habang hinahayaan siyang makalayo, makalayo hanggang sa hindi na siya abot ng tanaw ko.