The Alpha's Eden

Brothers know best part one

Eden PoV

Blake and Jace quickly began going over the plans again which must have been the fiftieth time in the last day or two so I gave both of them a quick peck on the lips and excused myself. My conversation with Jace had left me pretty shaken even though I'd hidden it from him as far as I could tell. It wasn't just one thing that had jarred me either, there were several things that had been discussed that gave me cause to really think things through again and figure it all out.

I loved my mates. I absolutely worshipped the ground they walked on, they meant everything to me and I valued their opinions and feelings so much more than I could ever try to put into words.

They had given me a life that I didn't ever imagine was possible and the three of us had created the most perfect future together.

But there were times that I knew had to seek advice elsewhere.

Not because their views didn't count or weren't probably accurate but because there were certain things, certain thoughts that I had that I didn't want to share with them. I never wanted them to see the darker sides of me, regardless of their promises to never judge me for it.

My childhood had been pretty fucked out, I didn't even remember all of it thanks to the mind shuffle my father had forced upon me, but what I did recall was pretty shitty. The cold, harsh truth of it was that my mates just couldn't and would never really understand that part of me.

I slipped on my boots and winter coat and tutted to myself when my fake baby bump prevented it from doing up completely. "Tsk... for fucks sake" I grumbled

"Now, now sis don't take it out on your coat" my brother Cole chastised me and joined me at the coat rack beside the front door of the packhouse. "Going somewhere? Carol singing? Last minute gift buying? Some more garish lights for the house?" He teased me and rolled his eyes when he caught sight of a long string of led lights that framed the doorway and flickered through a rainbow of colours.

"Bar humbug"

"In all seriousness, where are you going?" He changed his tone to a more genuine, concerned one.

"I just need to get some fresh air and go through some stuff in my head" my hand waved it off as if it was nothing but he narrowed his gaze and saw right through me.

"Well I'd be a really shitty big brother if I let you do that alone wouldn't I? .. well even shitter than you already think I am. I know how much you've hated me Eden. " As he spoke he slipped on his own footwear and a navy parka. His last words caused him to drop his eyes to anywhere but me as the impact of them hit him.

I was taken aback by his words and couldn't respond. My mouth opened and shut several times but nothing came out like the words had got stuck in my throat. We left the house and followed the pathway that led around the grounds and out to the forest. The ground was covered in a few inches of snow but the paths had been cleared and gritted and the heavy salted mixture crunched under our feet which broke the silence that lingered between us.

"That's not how I feel about you. I don't think you are a shitty brother. I never did. I just really fucking missed you. It was like a part of me left with you and a bloody painful hole was left behind. There was no way of healing it unless you came back to me. Sawyer felt the same way too" I stopped abruptly.

All of a sudden I had the ability to speak and I refused to waste it. No more time would pass with my big brother having those thoughts. Not even another second.

"I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving. I honestly did. You had Sawyer, Roman and Lizzie to protect you and dad wouldn't hurt you two to punish me if I wasn't there" Cole replied with nothing but regret in his voice.