The Alpha's Eden

Little Eden Quinn- the helpless little wolf

Eden PoV

After I'd eaten a hefty portion of pancakes I downed my glass of blood and then headed upstairs to freshen up.

I brushed my teeth, washed my face and ran a comb through my blonde hair and tied into into a high ponytail so it was out of my face and also out of the grasp of tiny little hands that loved to tangle their fingers in my hair and pull it as they tried to escape.

The mere thought of the twins made me hurry up and once I'd put on a clean sweater, which no doubt would've covered in baby sick within the hour I rushed over to the nursery.

There was a gentle hum of twinkle twinkle little star coming from the Alexa device. Freya had her back to me but I could clearly hear her angelic voice singing the words as she rocked her body gently from side to side.

Her arms were tucked into her front and from the empty cribs I could only assume she was cracking both twins in her arms.

"Hey mama" she whispered as she turned to face me, she tipped her head downwards to the sleeping beauties in her arms and offered one arm outwards and between us we nestled Quinn into my arm instead without even stirring him.

Once my scent filled his nostrils he turned farther into my embrace and a soft sigh of contentment left his little perfect mouth. "Did you manage to eat today?" Freya asked innocently but I saw the tightness in her eyes that showed her concern.

"I did. Iris made pancakes. She even poured us some blood.. even though she insisted on calling it 'Juice'. I had missed her so much. I missed them all so much but-"

"But what?" She pressed me to carry on.

"But I can't help but feel like maybe I got them back but lost other people for good " I gazed at my babies and my heart felt almost fit to burst.

Despite the joy I felt at being with my children a huge part of me felt like it had shattered into a million pieces. It wasn't getting any easier either, not in the slightest, in fact it felt like it was progressively getting worse.

This went way beyond heartache and deep down I sensed that something wasn't right at all I just didn't know what the problem was.

Perhaps my lack of healing had somehow affected my emotional state?!

I missed them so much that their names were too painful to utter so 'other people' had to do. I never stopped thinking about them and there were moments where I felt like I couldn't breath and my heart raced erratically then slowed so much that I felt light headed and nauseous.

The truth was, I wasn't strong enough to deal with it and I feared that saying their names out loud would finally break me.

"Eden, you did what you did to protect your family. Nobody can blame you for that. They might be angry for a little while but they can never blame you for doing what needed to be done for this family. For the pack. For your people. They are just too stubborn and pigheaded to see that but they will do eventually" she assured me.

Somehow it really did give me some hope in this nightmarish situation. Freya was right, I had only done it to protect my family. I loved them far too much to risk losing them and even if they hated me at least they were alive.

"You know this little fella still hasn't got a name. You can't wait forever" she laid a soft kiss upon my son's nose.

"I'm not waiting forever" I am waiting for his dads to come home and name him.

That's what I wanted to say. But the words got clogged up in my throat and it was too much to fight through.

What if they had no intention of ever coming home?!?