The Alpha's Eden

Don't say I didn't warn you

Jace PoV

After Eden had talked so openly I couldn't help but suddenly feel a sense of self hatred swimming inside me. The more I tried to squash it down deep inside me the tighter it's grip got on me. The more that the thoughts invaded my mind the more twisted and tormenting they got and I could feel my mood souring.

It was all my own fault to.

The longer we laid there the colder it got and when Eden began to shiver in my arms I snapped out of my own fucked up thoughts and realised I needed to get her back in the warm.

"It's getting real cold out here. Let's get you back to the house" avoiding eye contact I slid my hoodie over Eden and hastily grabbed all of her clothes plus all but one plush blanket which I wrapped around her then shoved it all in my bag.

I bent down and eased Eden's sneakers on and began to lead her back through the forest and to the house.

"It's beautiful out here Jace. Thank you for sharing it with me" Eden smiled slipping her hand onto mine and making me feel more like an utter shit head than I already did.

She was too fucking sweet and forgiving for her own good and I didn't deserve any of it.

Not after what I'd done to her.

"You're welcome. But it's not as beautiful as you, never forget that" No matter how shitty I was she was far from it. Something deep inside me felt the need to remind her of that in case she hated me by the time we got back to the house. There was no sense of denying that I probably deserved it.

I was so damn mad at myself. Disappointed too.

I'd lost control. After all this time of a constant internal power struggle with my wolf he had finally won.

He'd taken advantage of me when I was so focused on putting a smile on Eden's face after that fiasco with Marco.

Not only that but I was on high alert to ensure her safety aswell as dealing with the suspicions I held that his little stalking episode was far more than he had made it out to be.

I was an alpha and that made me stronger than most.

I could handle as much mentally as I could physically but my wolf was an alpha too and he'd been desperate to get to Eden ever since we laid eyes on her.

I understood she was his mate too and having her wolf dormant wasn't easy on him but it wasn't easy on her either.

Add all the other terrible tragic things that Eden had been through I didn't feel it was the right time to hand the reins over to him and spend time with her.

In fact I was hoping that once Eden had control of her wolf she'd be okay with my wolf joining her for a play or a run together in our wolf forms.

There was no way I'd deny him that chance but I just wanted to do things on Eden's terms and I was so fucking angry at him for locking me out of control of my own body and just be a sad, pathetic onlooker as he drove Eden insane with pleasure.

Perhaps in other circumstances it would have been pretty hot to sit back and watch our very own perfection falling apart and completely surrendering to is mind, body and soul but it was my body and it should have been my choice.

Plus Eden was heavily pregnant with twins so she needed to be treated less roughly than she usually enjoyed. I feared my wolfs primal instincts would be to take complete and utter possession of her body and meld it to his own desires.

This bring the first time he'd formally met her he might have wanted much rougher sexual gratification than Eden was able to provide in her delicate state as a mummy to be.

I silently headed straight upstairs to our bedroom wanting to make sure Eden got some rest after tonight's escapades and she followed me into our room with a look of confusion etched across her face. Not only was I a weak dickhead earlier on I'd also decided to shut her out of the mate bond so she didn't seem how fucked up I truly was.

"What are you thinking?" Eden questioned sharply watching me as I paced in front of the bed on the then edge of a mini meltdown.

Not very alpha like but I couldn't help myself.

"You don't wanna know" I snorted shaking my head and rubbing my fingers through my hair in frustration at myself

"Yes I do. That's why I asked. What are you thinking about right here.....right now??" She demanded placing her hands on her hips and distracting me when the hem of my hoodie lifted slightly remaining me she didn't have any panties on. Goddess she was such a temptress even when she didn't mean to be.

" fine but don't say I didn't warn you. Here is what I'm thinking; When I brought you here I had wanted to fuck you in every room and on every bit of furniture I could. I wanted the walls to vibrate as you screamed my name and the headboard to bang into the wall until it broke. I wanted to fuck you in every position we could manage and force you to come more times than you've ever come in your life. I imagined that you'd wake up in each  morning with your pussy sore because I fucked you so hard and yet you'd still crave more of it like it's a drug. Like I was a drug. I'd be your fix filling you up with my cum and giving you that ultimate high over and over again. But I ruined it all the second I lost all control"  I knew I had to share her with Blake, I'd accepted that but right now here, but in the time we were here, alone, and in  this moment it was just the two of us and she was mine.

Only mine.

But I had fucked things up big time and when Eden had asked what I was thinking I'd just blurted out all of my my inner most thoughts unable to focus on anything but the connection between us and how fragile I feared I had made it with my weak willpower.

Every second she didn't reply felt like hours and I blew out a long breathe waiting for her response.
She looked totally taken aback by my ramblings, staring at me through narrowed eyes as if she was gauging the truth behind my words.

Like she couldn't quite believe the extent of my desire, my need for her and the absolute depth of my regret and self hatred at this point of weakness. 

"I-" I went to speak, to say anything just to break the unbearable tension in the air only to be swiftly stopped as Eden pushed me on my ass on the edge of the bed, straddled my waist, swiftly knotting her fists in my hair before smashing her lips against mine, kissing me so hard it took my breathe away.

Our tongues immediately found each other and thrusted roughly in such a wild, passionate way that told me everything I need to hear.

She felt the exact same and I knew there was nothing more that needed to be said.

Everything else our bodies could communicate and our souls would entwine in the same way our bodies would joining as one just like the moon goddess had planned.