Stray Kids | Sickfics

Anxiety | Han

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Jisung's pov

Tomorrow is a big day. For the first time, we will perform "Maniac" infront of our fans. We put so much effort and time in this song and now we can finally show stays our hard work. It is the best to see their reactions while performing, it gives you a feeling of completeness and satisfaction.

That's why I love performing, but at the same time I hate it.

Sometimes, I have really bad anxiety, which is often holding me back. It is like an obstacle, which prevents me from being able to fully enjoy things I love. And guess what, it's the day before the big perfomance and surprise, I can't sleep.

I think too much, it drives me crazy. I get out of bed to grab some water, hopefully I didn't wake up anyone.

I sat down at the kitchen table and watched the cars, who were driving by outside at this damn time.

Suddenly, I heard a door open and there was Seungmin appearing from the darkness.

"Who's this?", he asked, staring right at me.

"Are you blind or what?", I said annoyed, not up for any kinds of jokes.

He must have noticed my shaky voice and immediately approached me.

"What's going on? Why are you awake at this time? Are you sick?"

Gosh, I hate it when people bombard me with questions I don't like to answer. But the silence was unbearable, so I just said I'm fine.

"Are you sure?"

Now, I couldn't help but to start crying. Damn it, it always happens, when people ask me how I am.

"Hannie, what's the matter?"

He hugged me tight and spoke very softly. I tried to cry in a very silent way, in order to not wake any other member up.

After a few minutes of comforting me, Seungmin asked me again and I explained him all of my fears.

"But you know Jisung, you have already performed lots of times and you always did a good job. Don't forget, that you're capable of performing well! Moreover, you're the one that has the most fun on stage and I know that you love showing what you can do.

Just don't make yourself small, because you already are."

He laughed, and I had to laugh a little as well.

"Look, you're not alone on stage, we're all with you, okay?"

"Okay", I said, feeling a little bit better.

"Just enjoy the moment, and think about all the times, you have successfully performed".

I nodded.

We sat there for a while just looking at eachother, when Seungmin stood up.

"You'll see, you will have so much fun tomorrow! Go sleep now, Hannie"

"Yeah, I will, I'm super tired", I said, following him to our rooms.

"And thanks for everything, Seungmin".

"What? oh yeah, no big deal", he yawned, entering his room.

I smiled as he closed his door.

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