Stray Kids | Sickfics

Not enough | Felix

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Changbin's pov

The last few days were intense. Our daily routine only consisted of dancing, singing and recording, with some breaks to sleep and eat in between. We had our first concert after a long time and we all wanted to perform the best we can. Good thing was we were all in good shape and in an excited mood, except for one.

I noticed that Felix was quite nervous about the concert, he also practised the most and barely rest nor eat. I was getting pretty concerned and I wanted to tell Chan hyung but I thought it would only make things worse.

On the day of our concert we were so excited to finally perform that I forgot all my worries about Felix. He seemed to be in a good mood and during our performance he was singing and dancing like a god.

One or two times I could see his hand shaking as he held his mic tight. Let's say I just kept an eye on him during the concert. Overall, we extremely enjoyed performing infront of stays again, and I think our fans were also pretty satisfied.

Everything was going fine until we went backstage.

We were all exhausted and tired but Felix seemed to struggle to breathe. He grabbed to the nearest thing, which was Hyunjin, and hyperventilated.

"FELIX? Are you okay? What's happening?", Hyunjin looked around desperately.

The others were immediately rushing to them, trying to handle the situation.

"Guys, give him some space! WE NEED A PARAMEDIC, PLEASE!", Chan shouted.

Thankfully, they were close by. I watched from a distance how Felix was laid down and how he was given oxygen through a mask. They also sedated him, so he could calm down.

It was dreadful to watch the whole scene without doing something helpful.

Hyunjin and Chan were at Felix' side the whole time, while we were told to get changed, but I didn't want to leave.

Seungmin was comforting an agitated Jeongin and Minho went outside with Jisung, who couldn't stand the situation.

After some time, the paramedics drove Felix to our dorm, where he was put into his bed, sleeping peacefully. They gave Chan some medicine for Felix and also told us to keep an eye on him.

"I can stay with him!", I volunteered.

Chan thought for a moment. "Are you sure, Binnie?"

I nodded. "That's the least I can do, hyung".

The others thanked me tiredly and went to sleep after this long day.

I carefully entered Lix' room and laid down next to him. He looked so peaceful and innocent, his hair looked incredibly fluffy and his lips were as plump as ever. His regular, quiet breathing sounds made me very sleepy but I dared not to sleep, so I just watched him.

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Time skip

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Oh god, did I fall asleep? Shit! I was instantly wide awake. I looked to my side.

"C...Changbin, i..is that you?", Felix said half asleep.

"Yes Lix, it's me", I smiled. "Are you feeling better?"

He didn't look at me, instead he turned to his other side.

"Lix, what is it?", I asked concerned.

No answer.

I sighed, making my way out of the bed.

"Binnie, wait please!" I turned and sat down at his side.

I was shocked to see him crying.

"No Felix, please don't cry", I said, pulling him into a hug.

He snuggled to me, saying something incomprehensible into my chest.

"Lix, please tell me what's going on with you. For the past few days you were acting not like yourself. Mind to explain?"

He wiped his tears away und collected himself again.

"Okay. So I really wanted to be perfect at this concert. I wanted to fulfil stays' expectations and I also wanted to be satisfied with myself. Moreover, I...I-"

He started to cry again. It hurt to see him like that.

"What, Lix?"

He took a deep breathe. "I...I r...read some comments online, saying that I don't look good while dancing a...and s...sometimes I wouldn't d...dance or sing g...good enough", he stuttered.

I looked shocked at him. How can somebody say that? He is perfect the way he is! I shook my head.

"Lix, you know, you shouldn't listen to some assholes online! Your dancing and singing is literally flawless, everybody knows that."

He looked at me with big, sad eyes. I was briefly lost in his eyes, before I continued.

"Yesterday, at the concert, everyone was focused on you, you know that?"

He looked at me in disbelief.

"R...Really?".

"Yes, Felix, because of your outstanding performance! You absolutely nailed it!"

His face softened. "I thought I did terrible", he mumbled.

"Not at all, Felix", I said, while patting his back.

"I'm so sorry for yesterday, I was so overwhelmed with my emotions and-"

"Ah you don't need to apologize, Lix, I'm just glad that you're feeling better."

He looked down and seemed to think hard.

After some time he leaned forward, his face dangerously close to mine, oh god, I melted inside.

"Thank you for everything, Binnie", he whispered into my ears, before falling back into his bed.

I was so hypnotized, I was only able to say a quick "no problem".

He smiled and closed his eyes, not long after I heard his steady breathing. I smiled too and cuddled to him.

I couldn't really describe what I was feeling, but what I knew was that I was overly happy.

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