Stray Kids | Sickfics

Memories | Felix

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a/n:

tw: sadness, grief

-requested by haroldluvxx

-it's rather short but I hope you still like it!

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'when i look at every stay here I can't help but be reminded of my late grandmother, that's why I think she's watching over us from a good place. stay... you know i love you... that's why let's be happy... let's live life happily... '

~Felix

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Felix's pov

I took a deep breath, trying to steady my trembling hands as I stood on the stage, facing the sea of fans that had gathered before us. The adrenaline of the perfomance still coursed through my veins, but there was something else weighing heavily in my heart. I was fine the whole day, having fun with the others and our fans, dancing and singing everything that we have prepared.

But now, as the others were doing their speeches, I couldn't help but to feel overwhelmed by my emotions. They all found the right words to say how thankful we were and how crazy it felt to perform infront of so many people.

I didn't even hear what Jisung was saying as I thought about everything that has happened in the last few days. The moment of hearing that my grandma had passed and all that came after  was just a blur of chaos and tears. I couldn't suppress these thoughts and I felt the lump in my throat growing bigger and bigger.

As the cheers and applause subsided, I knew it was time for me to speak. Taking a deep breath, I gathered my thoughts and looked out at the thousands of fans who had come to support us. The stage illuminated their faces and their unwavering excitement filled the air. It was a moment I had been eagerly anticipating, a chance to express my gratitude to those who had stood by us throughout our journey.

"Thank you, everyone", I began, my voice laced with genuine gratitude. "Your support means the world to us. We wouldn't be here without you."

As I spoke those words, memories of my beloved grandmother flooded my mind. She had been my pillar of strength, always there with a warm smile and a comforting presence. But she was gone now, and the pain of her absence felt raw and unbearable. 

Emotions surged within me, threatening to spill over. My voice trembled, and the tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn't hold them back any longer. The weight of my loss crashed over me, and the floodgates opened. 

"I'm sorry", I managed to choke out, my voice breaking. "I just...when I look at all of you I can't help but be reminded of my late grandmother. She was...everything to me."

The crowd fell silent, their gazes filled with understanding and empathy. I bent down to grab my water bottle but also to have some time to compose myself.

The others gave me some worried glances but I was quick to assure them and took a few deep breaths before continuing to talk.

"Thank you", I said, my voice filled with newfound determination. "Thank you for your understanding. Your presence and support mean everything to us. Let's continue making memories together and cherish every moment we have."

The crowd erupted into thunderous applause, their cheers a testament to the deep connection we shared.

While Seungmin started to give his speech, I pulled my cap further over my face, trying to hide myself as much as I could. I've cried infront of stays before but still I felt a bit embarrassed showing myself this vulnerable.

Suddenly, I felt someone petting my head and another hand on my shoulder. Chan leaned over from behind, trying to catch a glimpse of my face.

"You okay?", he asked while holding the microphone away.

I nodded barely noticeably. He gave me a gentle smile in return and continued to let his hand rest on my shoulder. It felt nice and comforting, knowing that Chan was always there to lean on.

Minutes passed and the tears began to subside. Our song 'LoveSTAY' was now playing and it was really breathtaking to see and hear all the people just being in the moment and enjoying the atmosphere.

And as I looked out into the sea of faces, I knew that my grandmother's spirit was with me, watching me from above. 

I found strength in knowing that her memory would live on, not just in my heart, but in the hearts of all those who had been touched by our music.

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a/n:

-this fanmeeting was so amazing but whenever I see Felix crying, it's really hard for me to watch. I relate to him so much and especially since his grandmother has passed away. I've lost all my grandparents in the past years and up until now I've not fully realized that they are gone forever. And knowing that Felix has to go through all that whilst being an idol and having to stand infront of thousands of people is just awe-inspiring.

-I wish you all a nice day! Until next week :) 🦙

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