Stray Kids | Sickfics

Failure | Jeongin

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a/n:

tw: fainting, nausea, vomiting

-requested by lexi_mar61

-thank you for all the requests, I wish I could do all of them...

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☘

Jeongin's pov

Only a few more minutes. It will all be over soon. I just had to endure the dance break. One last sprint. I had to give my all. I didn't want to disappoint our fans, my members. We've put so much dedication into this performance, I didn't want to be the one destroying our hard work. I couldn't give up. I didn't want to fail.

The energy in the air was electrifying, but little did I know how much it would drain me. I pushed myself harder, striving to deliver the best performance of my life. I ignored how my vision started to blur, how every movement became heavier and harder to execute. Countless hours of memorizing every single step paid off at the very moment. My head was someplace else yet I didn't miss a single beat.

I started to feel this ugly panic rising in my chest as I felt my body slowing down. I just wanted to fall onto the ground and lay still. I wanted to black out so I wouldn't witness the stares and shock of everyone around me.

I pushed myself to keep going, I danced like there was no tomorrow. My body screamed for rest, but I couldn't let the others down.

And then, it was done. We were all standing in the end pose and I felt a huge relief fall off my shoulders. I did it. I kept going. The lights were still on and I knew we had to stand for a little longer.

'Until the lights are off', we were told.

But I couldn't anymore. I couldn't feel my legs. I had no balance and stumbled around, trying to maintain my pose.

And as the stage went dark, so became my vision and my legs finally gave up, the ground seeming to sway beneath my feet.

I did it.

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Chan's pov

"Chan, what happened?"

"Get him off the stage!"

The other's shouts were completely swallowed by the loud cheers and applause of our fans.

It all happened so fast; Jeongin almost collapsing onto the ground if I hadn't caught him in time. He was somewhat conscious as Felix and I both held him upright, but the way his breaths came in ragged gasps made me extremely concerned. We had to get him off the stage before the lights were turned on again.

I signaled Felix to help me support him and we both slowly carried him backstage, the others following us closely behind. There were already staff waiting for us with water and towels but Felix and I passed them in order to get to a couch. We carefully lay Jeongin down and caught our breaths, the exhaustion of the performance still not being passed off.

"Is he breathing?", Seungmin asked, to wich I quickly nodded.

"He's passed out for now. We can only wait", I managed to say.

Felix anxiously paced back and forth, his brows furrowed while Jisung and Minho exchanged concerned glances. I felt powerless and to see Jeongin in this fragile state broke my heart. He gave so much effort into this performance, pushing his body to its total limits.

This shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't have put so much pressure on him, I should have let him rest more.

Suddenly, his body shifted and his eyes fluttered open, a collective sigh of relief escaping our lips.

"Jeongin? Can you-"

I fell silent as he doubled over, retching from the exhaustion that had taken over his body. Seungmin quickly shoved a bucket under him while I held his trembling shoulders, trying to provide some comfort admidst the chaos.

"It's okay, let it out," I whispered softly, trying to help him as much as I could.

Changbin and Hyunjin quickly fetched water and a towel to tend to him. As he finished vomiting, he slumped against me, utterly drained. I could feel the weight of his exhaustion, both physically and emotionally. Tenderly, I wiped the sweat from his forehead, silently promising to be there for him every step of the way.

After a while, Jeongin calmed down and looked at us with guilt in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice full of remorse, "I feel like I let all of you down."

His words took us by surprise, and for a moment, silence hung heavily in the air. I exchanged a quick glance with the others, their expressions mirroring my disbelief. How could he think that any of this was his fault?

I gently took his hand in mine, looking into his eyes with sincerity. "Innie, listen to me. You never let us down. We all know how hard you work, how much you give to this group. Fainting was a sign that you pushed yourself beyond your limits and we're here to remind you that it's okay to ask for help."

He looked at me sadly, barely nodding his head.

"Forget that dumb dance. Your well-being matters more than any performance. We don't want you to feel guilty. We want you to take care of yourself," Jisung added, his voice firm yet comforting.

We all understood the immense pressure he had put on himself, always striving to give his best. We all understood it so well. There was not a single word that could describe how much we all related to one another and I felt so grateful for having this deep connection with the others.

"Jeongin, your health is our priority and we would never expect you to carry on with a performance if you're feeling unwell. We're all learning how to take care of ourselves better. Let's grow together, okay?"

He pressed his lips together and wiped the tears away that were running down his cheeks. I couldn't help but to pull him into a warm embrace, hoping that he'd understand that none of what happened today, was his fault.

We knew that moving forward, we would all be more mindful of our physical and mental well-being. We would support each other unconditionally, never letting guilt or self-blame cloud our judgment.

And I would ensure that each of my friend's health and happiness were always at the forefront because seeing them break, hurt me to the core.

"Let's rest now, shall we?"

☘

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a/n:

-the weather is finally getting cold and I love it. I kinda have to study a lot, since Japanese is a very complex language and the writing system is crazy, but I really like being at the university and just exist as a student :)

-hope you're all doing fine! until next week!
(„• ֊ •„)੭

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