Stray Kids | Sickfics

Left out | Jeongin

-----------------------------------------------

Jeongin's pov

Today, my members and me, we had an interview with an English company, so I wasn't as happy as the others. Don't get me wrong, I like giving interviews, but whenever it is in a foreign language, I'm too nervous to say something and my English really sucks.

Although Lix and Chan are helping me to improve, I've always struggled to focus and eventually I would give up trying. That's why I don't like English interviews, and seeing the others talking and expressing themselves easily in English is not helping.

"HAHAHAHA", they all laugh except for Minho and me.

Minho is also not really comfortable in talking in English but today he sat next to Yongbok, who translates him everything.

I was sitting in the corner with Jisung on my right, who was too busy being loud and funny. I was kinda feeling left out. Sometimes I could understand some word fragments, but I was pretty much lost all the time.

I tried to copy what the others were doing, smiling whenever they smiled, laughing whenever they laughed. At some point I was just staring on the ground, feeling completely out of place.

After some time I looked around and watched my members having a great time. I just felt bad that nobody really cared about me. Maybe Chan hyung would have noticed, if he had been sitting near me.

"...Jeongin....", I suddenly heard my name, feeling my anxiety level raise.

What's the question? I looked around confused. Felix quickly reacted and said the question again in Korean. It was some uninteresting question about what I prefer to do in my freetime, and I just gave some generic answer.

I didn't feel like talking anymore and just wanted to go home.

My simple and short answer was apparently enough for the interviewee as he immediately went on with the next question.

I sighed and looked down again.

After a few final questions, the interview has finally ended and we all headed to our dorms. I was feeling miserable at this point and I was pretty annoyed at my members, who haven't even tried including me in this interview.

"Hey guys, d'you want to watch Netflix togehter?", Chan asked us when we arrived at home.

They all agreed, but I didn't want to spend any more time with them, so I excused myself.

"Hey, Innie, are you sure? Is everything-"

"I SAID NO, OKAY?", I said, maybe a bit too loud.

I went instantly to my room, slamming the door behind me, as I didn't want to hear their comments about me. I went to bathroom and splashed cold water in my face. I looked into my reflection in the mirror, where I saw tears running down my face.

What did I do? I have never felt the way I felt right now. The anger I had at my members turned now to sadness.

Was I annoying to them? Did I do something wrong? What's the reason they didn't include me? Or was I just desperate and greedy for attention?

I didn't know. I went to bed and hid under my blanket, crying silently.

Hyunjin's pov

"What the hell did just happen?", Chan asked us, looking confused.

We all exchanged some looks, clueless as to why Jeongin was so angry.

"Maybe he had a bad day?", Seungmin guessed, some of us nodding in agreement.

Jisung looked at him in disbelief. "No, I don't think so, he looked really angry and upset, it was nothing like him at all".

"Well, did you ask him, how he was feeling today?", Chan asked.

Jisung thought for a moment, then shook his head.

"Did anyone ask him?"

We all waited for someone to say something, but there was just silence.

So this is the reason, I thought to myself.

"He must have felt left out the whole day", Felix said sadly.

"Can somebody get Jeongin, so we can discuss the situation?", Chan asked.

I stood up and rushed to his room, knocking softly before entering. The lights were off but I figured Jeongin would be in his bed.

"Innie?", I asked carefully.

"Hyunjin? Go away, I want to sleep", he said under his blanket.

"Please Innie, come outside, we want to talk about today".

He groaned but seemed to move out of his bed. I walked back to our living room, sitting down at the coach with the others, waiting for Jeongin to come. Shortly after he walked into the living area, looking like he cried, which I could understand.

The others stopped to talk and looked at their maknae.

"Come sit here, Innie", Chan said, making room between him and Seungmin.

Jeongin hesitated before sitting down at the offered place.

"First of all, we don't blame you for being upset at us. I really wasn't aware that you were feeling left out, Innie, why didn't you say something?", Chan began to speak.

Jeongin was avoiding looking at us, he just stared onto the ground before taking a deep breathe.

"It was just different than other interviews", he said.

There was silence in the room.

"Because it was in English, right?," Felix said, "and didn't understand that much, huh?"

Felix knew that feeling damn well, as he was also confronted with a new language, that he could barely speak. He layed an arm around Jeongin, in order to make him feel better.

"Look, Innie, we're all very sorry about the interview today, you know that we love you and that we care for you!", Changbin said, while hugging Jeongin.

"Hell yeah we do!", Jisung endorsed, patting IN's head.

"Please don't cry again and always say something when you feel lonely or left out!", Chan affirmed.

I could see Jeongin's face expression change to a tired but satisfied smile.

"I don't know what to say, guys, I...I, uhm, thank you".

"C'mon, let's group hug!", Chan said, spreading his arms.

We all stood up from the coach and reached to him, pulling Jeongin right in the middle.

"Oh guys, I can't breathe!", he chuckled embarrassed.

We giggled and went back to sit down.

"I hope that you can forgive us, Innie, oh what would we do without our little, cute, sweet maknae?", Jisung said, while we all laughed.

I looked to Innie, who was laughing too and seemed to feel much better. I vowed to always take care of him from now on and to make sure that everyone was included.

Always.

-----------------------------------------------