The weirdo and the freak

Time out

When the film had finished I couldn't get out of that living room quick enough. I jumped up and grabbed the blanket off of the sofa. "Eddie baby, I'm going to go upstairs for a shower and a lie down. Are you coming with me?" Eddie looked up at me and scowled.

"I thought that we were going to watch another film together? Are you sure that you want to go for a lie down now?" Eddie asked. I looked around and Dustin was tucking into some chips while Steve was sat looking uncomfortable and staring at the floor. It was almost as though he couldn't bring himself to look at me.

"Ok, we can watch another one but I thought you wanted the maiden to yourself for the afternoon. Do you not want me now?" I looked at Eddie and pouted as I asked him. I think he finally realised what I was trying to tell him.

"Oh right, yeah, a shower would be great about now." He jumped up off of the sofa and grabbed me around my waist. "We are off for showers guys. We'll be back down in a bit and we'll order some food. How does that sound to everyone?" Dustin nodded and smiled while Steve continued looking straight down at the floor.

I ran upstairs with Eddie close on my heels. Every time he got close tome he would tickle me and make me laugh. We entered my room and locked the door behind us. "Did you want a shower first or shall I go?" Eddie asked me whilst I was already stripping myself off and laying down.

"Did you really think that I wanted a shower Munson?" By now I was naked and laid down on the bed in front of him. "Do you want to have a shower Eddie or did you want to try something fun with me?"

Eddie looked at me gone out. "Are you sure you are ok sweetheart?" He perched on the edge of the bed. "We don't have to have sex every time that we are alone you know? If you just wanted a time out with me then you could have just said." I pulled the covers over myself feeling really exposed and a little bit stupid.

"Do you not want me now then? I thought that you loved me. Have I done something wrong? I thought that you wanted this, I thought that you wanted me." I started to cry. Eddie lay down on the bed next to me and brought me into his chest.

"Of course you haven't done anything wrong. I just don't want you to do too much too soon. I'm happy just to lie here with you and relax for a bit, I meant that I just wanted some time alone with you. We could do other things if you wanted but you seem really anxious, is everything ok?" Eddie sounded really concerned.

"I'm good, I just thought that you would want it again." I tried not to cry and blinked back my tears but needed to think of an excuse as to why I was crying as I didn't want him to feel bad. "If I am being honest with you though I am just feeling a little bit overwhelmed. The last few days have moved so fast. I'll be fine, I probably just need a shower and a time out."

"Tell you what then darling, you have a shower and take all the time that you need. You have dealt with a fair chunk since moving here so I will leave you to have 5 minutes to yourself while I go down and sit with the guys. How does that sound to you?" I nodded. Eddie kissed the top of my head and left me alone with my thoughts so I did what I do best, I showered and spent time alone inside my head.

Granted I spent a lot longer in the shower than I should have done but I just felt as though I needed it. The water raining down on me always helped steady my breathing and clear my mind. I loved Eddie so much but couldn't shift the memories of kissing Steve just a few hours earlier. The way he felt, how he smelt, how gentle his lips felt against mine as they met. Then a demon thought entered my mind. Would Steve have rejected me just now the way that Eddie did? Had Eddie got what he wanted and was he now bored of me? Did he not find me sexy enough now he had had me? Why was he blowing hot and cold or was it me that had the issue? Mental health had never been a friend of mine but being in love seemed to make it an even greater enemy.

As I entered back into my bedroom from my shower, I was stunned. Steve was sat on my bed waiting for me and I didn't know whether or not I could hold back this time.