The weirdo and the freak

Finally final

Thanks to my mental health and grief the next few weeks passed by me in ablur. How Eddie dealt with me, I honestly will never know. Work was difficult because now Steve and I couldn't even be in the same room without him humming that stupid song to himself. Something about Jessie's girl. Who the hell was Jessie and why was he finding some other poor sap's missus to hit on? We tried our best to act as though nothing had happened though.

I was managing to get through finals by just focusing and taking each exam one by one. Eddie was doing so well and I couldn't help but think that he was sure to graduate this year. That final morning though felt as though the weight of the whole world was on my shoulders. Our final final was English. Eddie and I walked into the school hand in hand. I was clutching him as though my life depended on it.

"Look at me sweetheart. You are going to ace this and when we are done, we are going to go home, have a few drinks with friends and forget high school. You got this sweetheart. You hear me?" Eddie had been giving me a little pep talk before each and every final. He had even accompanied me to finals he wasn't sitting so that he was there for me when I finished each and every exam.

I nodded, took a deep breath and kissed Eddie before we both entered the exam room for the last time. Those next few hours felt as though they were the slowest of my life. Each second that ticked by felt exaggerated. "Pens down please ladies and gents. Your finals are over. Well done to each and every one of you."

I let out a huge sigh of relief and glanced over at Eddie grinning at me. We were let out of the exam room one row at a time to avoid chaos. As I got outside the room, everything started spinning and I fell to the floor.

"Sweetheart, look at me." Eddie was looking down at me concerned, Robin to one side of me and Steve squatted next to Eddie.

"I'm ok. I'm just tired and haven't eaten properly in a few days. Let's just get back to the trailer, grab some food and celebrate. I feel like I need something to celebrate and we can now focus on our wedding." I squeezed Eddie's hand while glaring at Steve with that last remark. Steve looked away and I could see the tension in his jaw appear. Now that finals were over I felt as though the weight of the world had just been lifted and I wanted to focus all on my energy on graduation and my upcoming wedding.

We pulled up outside the trailer and my eyes danced over the decorations outside. There were banners and balloons, but Eddie was with me so who had done this. We walked inside. "Surprise." My Aunt and Dustin were there with a cake and my Aunt had done her usual buffet of bits and bobs. I fought back the tears as my Aunt ran at me for a hug. We had really starting growing together since Christmas and she was fast becoming the Mother I needed and wanted but never had.

The party was in full swing and I honestly was beginning to feel the happiest that I had felt in a while. I decided to take 5 minutes to myself and go out front for a cigarette and a breather. It was nice in a way to just take a few minutes just to compose myself and in those few minutes so many worries started to disappear and my mind started to clear. I was almost lost deep in thought until I heard shuffling behind me.

"Mind if I sit with you?" Steve asked but he was already placing himself down beside me before I had chance to answer him. "How are you doing? I know things have been awkward between us for the last few weeks but I still care about you. Even if you don't want me, I'm still here as your friend."

"I've been better to be honest with you but at least with finals done I can focus on other things, like my wedding. Look, I never really apologised for that night and the way that I spoke to you. I'm sorry that I hurt you but I had to make it clear that I have chosen Eddie. I don't want things to be awkward between us. I do love you you dingus, but only as a friend." I bumped shoulders with him to show him that I was trying to be affectionate.

His response was to put his arm around my shoulders and kiss me on the cheek. "Did you ever feel anything for me though? I just need to know that it wasn't all in my head."

I sighed. "Honestly. I don't know. I think deep down I felt something for you but it wasn't love. I love Eddie and can't be without him.The feelings that I have for you are different and I'm not in love with you but I feel like I need you in my life in some degree. Does that make sense?"

Steve nodded as he stood up and brushed himself off. He held his hand out to me. "Come on, everyone will wonder where you are."

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EDDIE'S POV

I saw Steve leave to go outside a few minutes after Y/N but didn't think anything of it. When I opened the bathroom window I heard something I didn't like and then I looked out of the window and saw them cuddling, all the negative thoughts of Christmas and New Year came flooding back. It was more than likely nothing though. It was just me overthinking.

When they walked back in I couldn't help but wonder why Steve was looking so smug. I needed a few minutes to myself so went to the bedroom to relax and unwind. It was just the alcohol, Y/N has been through a lot and Steve had been there for her and for me.

 Why was it starting to feel as though I was losing her now?