The weirdo and the freak

Coming clean

The long drive back to mine was really quiet but that was because I didn't know if I could keep what had just happened to myself and my head was swimming with all the possible scenarios. We got too mine and I refused dinner as I wanted to grab a shower. I wanted to try and wash away what had happened. Eddie followed me up the stairs and into my room. I kissed Eddie, grabbed a towel and made my way to the shower. I jumped in the shower, turned it on and started sobbing. I placed my back against the wall and slid down so I was sat under the cascading water. What the hell had I done?

I couldn't stop the tears now, they were flowing as freely as the shower was. I must have been crying really loud because next thing I know Eddie was getting soaked as he jumped in the shower to hold me. I didn't deserve this. He was still wearing his clothes and I was sat in the shower tray with him getting soaked holding me.

"Sweetheart, speak to me. Please tell me what's wrong, you haven't been yourself since I collected you from work." He seemed really concerned and I needed to tell him what had happened. The guilt was eating me up inside and I couldn't cope with it. He deserved so much better than I was giving him.

"No, I'm not ok." Eddie looked seriously concerned. "I fucked up, really fucking bad and you are going to hate me but I need to tell you." Eddie took his arms from around me and stood up, he looked down at me with his arms crossed. "When you arrived at the store the reason I looked so stunned is because I had just had sex with Steve. It wasn't the first time that we kissed each other though. I need to tell you everything." Eddie said nothing and left. I heard the bedroom slam shortly followed by the front door slamming as well. This is exactly what I thought that he would do but I needed to tell him, he deserved someone who wouldn't do that to him. He deserved better than me and I didn't deserve him.

I got myself out of the shower and just sat on my bed wrapped in a towel. A few hours went past and I was still sat on my bed staring into space but had at least managed to convince myself to chuck on some pyjamas. My door knocked at midnight. "It's open." I felt numb and my eyes were burning from all the tears I had cried but I had no one to blame but myself. Dustin came in.

"Mum was worried about you so I brought you a hot milk. What happened? Why did Eddie leave? Is he coming back? He was soaking wet and drove off like a maniac. He was saying he was off to kill him. Kill who?" I looked at him panicked.

"I messed up Dusty. I admitted to Eddie about Steve and he ran off slamming the doors. I think we are finished and it is all my fault."

"What do you mean you admitted about Steve? What did you admit about Steve? Is that where he was going?" Dustin looked even more confused.

"I had sex with Steve and told Eddie. We have kissed before as well. I am so sorry Dustin, my head and my heart are both broke. You need to ring Steve and see if he is ok. I don't want either of them getting hurt. Can you ring him for me please? I will ring Uncle Wayne in the morning, I don't want to worry him and Eddie won't want to talk to me anyway." Dustin looked shocked but came and sat next to me at the head of my bed as I started crying.

"Hey, hey Y/N, Eddie loves you. He'll forgive you. It's not like you are in love with Steve is it?" He cuddled me as I just looked at him and gave him a knowing look. "Right, ok. Well, why don't you get some sleep and I will ring Steve in the morning for you. Just in case Eddie has gone straight home."

I couldn't sleep that Thursday night and when Friday morning came I was still awake and numb. Dustin came into see me just after 8am. "I brought you a pop tart. I thought you might be hungry. Blueberry, your favourite." He came and sat on the bed and although not massively hungry I nibbled the pop tart. "So, I rang Steve and no one is answering. I also rang Eddie and his Uncle said that his bed hasn't been slept in but he thought that he was here but he will ring us when he comes home and I will keep ringing Steve."

"Thanks Dusty bun. I don't understand why you are being so nice to me though. I slept with one of your best friend's meaning that one of your other best friends split up with me and is now potentially missing."

"But you are family Y/N and that means a lot to me. Now eat your breakfast and come downstairs. We can watch ET together." I nodded and did as I was told.

Wayne rang us about lunchtime to tell us that Eddie was home but to give him some space, I agreed guessing that he had maybe said something to Uncle Wayne. We didn't hear from Steve though, which sent waves of panic through me. Especially as I had work with him the following day. Was he hurt? Would he even be there? What had happened?