Beyond Control

Chapter 26

"-Ge?" A'Xian whispered.

I turned my attention to him. It's been five days and his fever has finally broken. He was waking up but he was fatigued, which is normal.

"It's alright," I told him, "I'm here."

"Sorry," he whispered.

"What are you apologizing for?" I asked with a chuckle.

"Burdening you with my fever," he said a bit loud this time.

"You're not a Burden, A'Xian," I told him, "you are like a brother to me. I'd do anything for you."

"Why are you so nice to me?" He asked.

This question...it came out of nowhere, "because you are a good person. I have no reason to hate you, and you are the love of my brother's life. Plus, I find it hard to hate a man like you," I told him.

"I've done bad things, and you still find me to be a good person?" He asked.

"Why do you say that?" I asked.

"Since taking in resentful energy, I've killed people in such horrible ways. They were under Wen Ruohan, Wen Chao, and Wen Xu...called resentful spirits to haunt and torture them. Causing them to kill themselves, drowning, sword to the throat, poison...I used resentful energy to crush Wen Zhuliu's core in revenge for Jiang Cheng..." he was crying, and he just confessed all this to me.

"It's in the past and it's okay," I said, "no one will ever judge you for the way they were killed. They have done just as terrible if not worse things then you. So don't be too hard on yourself...what brought this on all of a sudden?"

"I dreamt I was in the Burial Mounds again," he answered, "remembering making the amulet and Chenqing. Finding scrips on the Yin Iron and theories on resentful energy."

"Do you still have those scripts?" I asked.

"Yes," he answered, "why?"

"They may be of use, may I have a look at them?" I asked.

"They are in my Qiankun Pouch with my robes in the wardrobe," he answered.

"Thank you," I said and went to get them.

I then sat back down beside him. I decided to check them out after I deal with him. I just put the pouch in my robes for the time being.

"I will return them to you when I am done with them," I said.

"You can keep them or burn them for all I care, if they fall into the wrong hands, it could cause a huge problem," he said.

I nodded, "I will hand them over to Shufu later. He has places for things like this. He knows how to hide things others cannot find."

"Okay," he said.

"How are you feeling? Are you hungry or thirsty?" I asked.

"I'm a bit tired," he answered, "I guess I am a bit hungry."

"I will have someone bring food over for you, hmm," I said.

He nodded.

"Just relax for a bit and I'll be right back," I told him.

"Okay," he said and smiled at me.

I called over a disciple and asked to bring Wei Wuxian's meal. After, I then got some warm sweet water and brought it over to Wuxian.

"Here, it's sweet water," I told him.

He carefully sat up and took the cup, "thank you."

"Of course," I said, "your food will be here shortly."

"Okay...where is Lan Zhan?" He asked curiously.

"He is looking into the masked man we encountered at the night hunt. I wrote out the melody I heard and had him go research about it. I asked him to speak with Shufu about it first. I haven't seen him since, so he must still be searching. I can send someone to tell him you're awake if you like," I told him.

"No need," he said with a smile, "he will visit when he can. I trust him."

I smiled, "the things you said to him back at the inn, that was sweet of you," I told him.

"I meant every word," he said, "he also needed to hear it. I wanted him to know I have him in my heart. He always will."

"That's why I said it was sweet of you," I said, "he isn't good at communicating, but I know he is wanted to fix that...I try to help him but he doesn't seem to want to let me help him with that."

"I can try speaking with him again later," he said.

"If you want to, it's up to you," I told him and sat beside him again, "can I ask you something?"

"Ugh, sure," he said, "you don't have to ask to ask me something, if it's something personal, I don't mind. I've shared so much with you already."

"I just want to ask. Aside from your sister, did the Jiang's ever consider your well-being?" I asked.

"Uncle Jiang Fengmian did most of the time. There were times where I felt him and Madam Yu just raised me to shield their children. As for Jiang Cheng, aside from having his mother's temper, we didn't meet on good terms...he did not like me at all," he said.

"Why? You were both kids right?" I asked.

"As I told you, I was often chased by viscous dogs while I lived on the streets. When I moved into Lotus Pier, Uncle Jiang had to have Jiang Cheng's dogs taken away. Not only did I feel terrible about it, but I was also to room with him. He didn't let me in the first two nights. On the third night, he said he would send dogs to chase after me if I didn't leave him alone. So I took off into the woods and climbed into a tree.

"Shijie found me a bit later. As she tried to convince me to come down, I slipped and fell from the tree. I hurt my leg in the process. She started carrying me back when we heard Jiang Cheng nearby. He was hurt with a head wound but it was minor. He said he was sorry for scaring me away. Back in his room he vowed to chase the dogs away for me...though, mornings when I had a hard time waking up, he would joke around by saying he would let dogs loose. It wakes me every time and it's annoying but what can I do."

"Why get rid of the dogs completely?" I asked.

"Even with the sound of a dog's bark, I paralyzed out of fear. Jiang Fengmian didn't want me to fear living in Lotus Pier. There are a lot of times where I think Jiang Cheng still hates me for that moment his dogs got taken," he answered.

"I have wondered why he is always so angry at you," I told him.

"It's just how is personality is. He has his moments though. The first time he ever hugged me was when he found me after I had been missing for three months. He had never done such a thing before," he said, "so I know he has a good side, it's just buried deep away. His mother's temper shines through him more these days."

"I do know he has his moments, but he just makes it hard to see that," I said.

He nodded, "what he said about the Wen's though. It angered me...he is more concerned about the alliance with the Jin Sect then anything."

"I saw that," I said, "Da-Ge is looking into the Wens still under Jin Guangshan's control."

He nodded as a knock came to the door. His food had arrived. As he ate, I decided to take a look at those scriptures he had on the Yin Iron and the resentful energy.