Beyond Control

Chapter 60

Later that night, I laid there on the bed, fairly restless and warm. I took my robes off leaving me in my trousers. Lan Zhan left with his brother for a few minutes to speak with Lan Qiren. I didn't want to go with them. I just wanted to relax but my brain was all over the place. I decided to leave those talisman on the walls of the Jingshi until I have control of my new abilities. I even had to add a wind proof barrier to it. This was getting out of hand.

Now, after getting some answers, I find out Baoshan has been looking for me.

Is she still though?

Would she challenge me and Lan Zhan?

Will we even find her?

Will she even help me if we go find her?

I had been through so much shit. Losing my parents, living on the streets, taken into Lotus Pier and being torn apart slowly by them. The massacre of Lotus Pier, being blamed for it and then Jiang Cheng losing his core. Me giving it up for him and now I have a new one. Only, I am cultivating so much that I am close to becoming immortal. I can help Lan Zhan gain strength just by sharing my energy with him, and that is just from kissing.

What would happen if we were one hundred percent intimate? Would we finalize our bond and become soul-bonds? Because closer to the point where we can read each other's thought?

I sat up on the bed feeling so overwhelmed that I felt like I was going to break into a million pieces. So much was building up inside of me and I felt like I was a bomb about to go off. I quickly put my robes on and my boots and left the Jingshi. I went straight to the training grounds and it was the most open area in Cloud Recesses. As soon as I got there, my entire body engulfed into flames. What was interesting, was my robes didn't burn off.

"A'Ying?" I heard a female voice call out to me.

"Qing-Jie, don't come too close, I don't want to hurt you," I told her, "please find Lan Zhan and Xichen-Ge. I beg you!"

She immediately left to look for them. I began to feel more rage building up. Even when I had resentment in my body, I don't think I have ever felt such rage. I knelt to the ground, now feeling extremely overwhelmed, the the flames seem to be growing on their own. I was so scared, that I didn't know what to do.

"Wei Ying?!" I heard Lan Zhan call for me.

I looked and saw that Wen Qing returned with Lan Zhan, Xichen-Ge, and Lan Qiren, "I don't want to hurt anyone," I said a bit scared, "I can't calm myself down."

"I know, but you need to try," Xichen-Ge said, "otherwise we cannot help you that much. For us to properly comfort you, you need to calm down enough for the flames to go out."

I shook my head, "I feel like my brain is in a million pieces," I said, "I am so scrambled."

I saw Lan Zhan sit down and pull out his guqin. I soon heard him playing Song of Clarity. I took a couple deep breaths and tried to center myself. Finally gaining control of my breathing, I slowly started to try and calm myself down. I felt the fire around me extinguish, so I opened my eyes. I felt a bit better.

"I'm so sorry," I said in a whisper.

"No need to apologize," Lan Zhan said putting his guqin away, "are you feeling a bit better?"

I nodded, "I got too overwhelmed...thinking about what my mother told me."

"Wei Wuxian, you do not have to feel panicked or burdensome over this," Lan Qiren told me, "this is a lot to take in. I think you should try to find your grandmother. She may be able to help you."

I nodded, "I will, I just feel overwhelmed," I said, "I was left alone with my thoughts so that can get dangerous I guess."

"I think, until you can control your abilities, you should have someone with you as much as possible," Wen Qing suggested, "it will help you try to keep your head from feeling clogged."

"Okay," I said, "I didn't hurt anyone did I?"

"No," Xichen-Ge answered, "you did not hurt anyone. Wangji, why don't you take A'Xian back to the Jingshi."

Lan Zhan reached his hand out to me. I took it, and moved into him. After so much rage, I felt tired, "I feel exhausted," I said.

"You probably used too much energy," Wen Qing said, "let me check you really quick."

I still leaned into Lan Zhan as he held me up. When Wen Qing tried to grab my wrist, she pulled her hand back really quickly, "Lan Wangji, how is he not scolding hot to you?" She asked, "I think I just burned my hand."

Xichen-Ge went to her and looked at her hand, "it's not too bad of a burn," he said.

"If Wangji and Wuxian are soulmates and have shared energy a couple times, Wangji may be immune to his heat," Lan Qiren wondered, "as no one else but him can touch Wuxian now I am assuming."

Xichen-Ge attempted to touch my hand but pulled back quickly, "I think it's true," he said.

"I am not hot to you?" I asked Lan Zhan.

"Yes and no," Lan Zhan answered, "you are not hot at the touch but you look hot."

"Lan Zhan, are you flirting with me right now?" I asked happily.

"Mnn," he nodded.

Xichen-Ge, Lan Qiren, and Wen Qing just chuckled and rolled their eyes. We all went back to our own places.

"Lan Zhan, since there is still some time left, should I spend some time in the cold spring?" I asked, "it might get my skin to cool off."

He nodded, "I will go with you," he said, "to supervise."

"Right, to supervise," I repeated.

Lan Zhan helped me to the cold spring. I just took my robes off and left my trousers on. When I got into the cold spring, I felt as if I cooled down quite a bit. Lan Zhan played Wangxian on his guqin as I sat in the spring for a while. I spend twenty minutes just meditating. It was long enough to get the scolding touch of my skin to disappear and back to normal. I then got out and put my robes back on.

"Lan Zhan, do you want to mess around again like we did before?" I asked on our way back to the Jingshi. He looked at me, "you know, kissing, touching, rubbing."

Lan Zhan picked me up and sped up the pace to get back to the Jingshi. Let's just say, he was all for it.