Beyond Control

Chapter 88

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji had returned to Cloud Recesses after spending three days at Lotus Pier. Since being back at Cloud Recesses, Wei Wuxian has been distracted. There were multiple reasons as to why he was distracted as well. He was nervous about the upcoming war and how his mind is going to prepare properly for that; He was feeling overwhelmed by the new abilities that he now has and he knows he can use them to help with the war, but at what point should he use them; And lastly, he was so distracted by his love for Lan Wangji that he almost did not want to think about anything else.

He was so drawn to Wangji, and because of that, he went to the library of all places to do some digging. He wanted to know more about Fated soulmates and if it has a strong impact on one's emotions. So he found a few books on soulmates and sat down right by the bookshelf to look through them.

"Soulmates are rare and that's what makes them so special. To feel such an intense connection to another human being is truly an extraordinary experience. Of course we can have strong feelings of love for numerous people over a lifetime. The love we have towards a soulmate is exceptional. All soulmate and twin flame relationships have a sense of fate and destiny. Spiritual partners preordain and contract this partnerships before being born.

Fate lends a hand in bringing soulmates together but divine intervention will only do so much. A fated relationship will shape your life by bringing experiences you wouldn't have without them in your life. So if you didn't have this fateful meeting, your life path may have taken a different route.

When it's a fated relationship, it will be bigger than both of you. And it will unfold as the Universe wants it to. It's truly amazing to be a part of a spiritual connection. Soulmates and twin flames are rare and a gift from the universe. There's no comparison to the deep feelings, level of intimacy and understanding they share."

Wei Wuxian found it all so interesting. He liked the mystery behind soulmates but he also liked that they were always meant to cross paths eventually if they were fated. Since Wuxian and Wangji's fate is eternal, in any lifetime will they meet again. Wei Wuxian sighed and put the books back on their proper shelves.

As Wuxian walked out of the library, he ran into a body and was caught before falling to the ground, "A'Xian," Lan Xichen said surprised, "I am sorry."

Wuxian giggled, "no need, I wasn't watching where I was going. I apologize, Xichen-Ge."

"What are you up to?" Xichen asked, "why are you by yourself? Normally you and Wangji are so attached to each other lately I hardly ever see you two apart."

"Lan Zhan told me he had to meet with Grandmaster Lan," Wuxian said, "he and I were to meet at the dining hall for lunch."

"I was actually headed that way, want to walk with me?" Xichen asked.

"Sure," Wuxian nodded and walked with Xichen.

"So, what were you looking for at the library? Anything you need help with?" Xichen asked.

"Mnn, I was just looking into the whole soulmates thing," Wuxian answered.

"Is there something going on between you and Wangji?" Xichen asked, concerned.

"No, nothing bad," Wuxian said, "we have just been very....playful to each other."

Xichen laughed, "you two are in that phase where you are wanting to be cute with everything you two do?"

"Yeah, a little bit," Wuxian answered, "I mean, when we were in Lotus Pier, to wake me up he picked me up and tossed me in the bathtub."

Xichen laughed, "that is something I did not expect from Wangji."

"He is getting bold," Wuxian told him, "but I like it. I think it is cute. He has been doing a lot for me as of recently."

"Not that I would not expect any less of Wangji to do that, but why even more so nowadays?" Xichen asked.

"My panic attacks have been coming back," Wuxian told him honestly.

Xichen stopped walking and grabbed Wuxian's arms. He held him so Wuxian was facing him, "what happened?" He asked worriedly.

Wuxian smiled a little bit, "the war that is coming up, it caused me to fall apart. I told Lan Zhan, and my brother, that I was afraid...I still am..."

Xichen took Wuxian into the room closest to them and placed a privacy barrier around the room, "will you tell me what happened?" He asked.

Wuxian nodded as the two sat down at the nearby table, "I started seeing flashbacks of the war with the Wen Sect. I went through a lot back then and I lost more than I had ever expected to lose. I am afraid to lose anyone else. When it was mentioned that I was to be used as bait at the conference meeting, I began to feel like I was suffocating. I didn't want to be someone else's bait. I do not want to hurt Lan Zhan that way. Also, if I was used like that, it would only delay things and my death would have been for nothing...I do not want to be someone's toy, Xichen-Ge. I do not want to lose anyone else," Wei Wuxian was now breaking down as Xichen had expected to happen.

Lan Xichen pulled Wuxian into a hug, "Wangji and I will not let anyone take you away like that. I also promise you, Wangji and I will do everything we can to be beside you through this. You contributed most to the Sunshot campaign and had given so much of your life for it. I want you to stick close to Wangji, okay."

"Just promise me you will be okay, Xichen-Ge," Wuxian demanded, "you are just as important to me as Lan Zhan."

"I promise you, I will be careful and protect you as best as I can," Xichen said, "is there anything else that is bothering you?"

"A thought did come to mind but it is more of an opinion on the attacks we are set to do," Wuxian said, "otherwise I think I will be okay."

"What is your opinion?" Xichen asked.

"We discussed at the conference that each sect would go into either Moling, Yue Yang, or the Yao sect. It reminded me of how the Wen Sect ambushed the sects back then. I don't know how I feel about going into another sect and destroying it. That might just be the humane side of me," Wuxian said, "but if it is to decrease the enemy count, I guess it is okay."

"Trust me, I don't like this idea either but it was out voted. As we are going to go into Moling Su, I thought maybe we could negotiate first and if they do not want to do that, we will take the more aggressive approach. What do you think of that idea?" Xichen explained.

Wuxian nodded, "I suppose so, I don't think they will want to negotiate much though. They might be too committed to Meng Yao's cause...whatever it may be, to really listen to us."

"Why don't you, Wangji, Shufu, and I sit down after lunch and discuss more about this. As our morals for our sect are not really into harming another sect, even if it is a rival sect, we should properly discuss this together," Xichen suggested.

"Did you want Qing-Jie with us? As she is head of the medical team I am sure she would like to know what to expect?" Wuxian asked.

"Sure," Xichen answered.