Beyond Control

Chapter 74

"Lan Zhan?"

"Mnn?"

"When you watched all those memories play out, what was your thoughts about it?" I asked. He and I were relaxing in the bath again. We had just finished a good hour long meditation so I wanted to work up a conversation, "please be honest with me. You can ask me questions about anything you like. I will try to answer as best as I can."

"All I could think at first," he began, "Why was Yu Ziyuan so harsh on you, and why you never said anything to anyone about it?"

"She was jealous of the close relationship Jiang Fengmian had with my parents...my mother in particular. She always thought the rumor of me being his bastard son was true by how well he treated me compared to his actual son. I was always furious with those who would disgraced my parents like that. Jiang Fengmian was good friends with my mom, and my father worked by his side for years. He only felt that it was right to take me in and raise me like a son. He was more kind to me, probably because I lacked what others had...a proper family.

I don't know if I was delusional at first or not, but I wanted to think I was family to them, even if Madam Yu hated me. But the day Lotus Pier got destroyed, I finally saw the real truth about it all. I was just a piece of property for them, to protect their children...even if it cost my life. So when Jiang Cheng lost his core, I felt obliged to do something, anything to try and help him. That was one of the main reasons I gave up my core for him. I wondered if that was what his parents wanted of me, to give that up if it ever came to that."

"So, you felt it was your duty to give Wanyin your core?" He asked, "as you felt like his parents had no other purpose for you other then to give Wanyin body parts if need be. Did you want to do it? Or do you regret it?"

"I do not regret it," I said, "I don't know if it was something that I wanted to do, but I felt it was my job to do so. If I could go back and try to keep Jiang Cheng from losing his core, of course I would, but I have to live with the choice now."

"Do you value your life at all?" He asked calmly. It almost seemed like he was getting upset, but it wasn't towards me, "did you ever think about leaving Lotus Pier?"

"I think value for my life was taken away when I was taken in by Jiang Fengmian. And I don't know if I would have left sooner. I think if it were not for Shijie, I might have left sooner. Otherwise, the way I grew up, do you expect a person like me to know how to value myself? I had to consider value of other lives, never of my own...I was alone, Lan Zhan...even if I had Shijie, she couldn't help me. No one could," I answered him, "I was a kid Lan Zhan, I had no one else, no where to go. I didn't know of Baoshan growing up until way later."

Lan Zhan started to look around the tub. The water was bubbling, as if it was reacting my my emotions. He saw that his questioning had gotten me to spiral a bit. He then grabbed me and pulled me to him. Setting me between his legs and he held me close to his chest. Him holding me helped calm me down. I realized I had just caused the water to boil. It was not hot really but I did heat up the water more.

"I am sorry," I told him as I wrapped my arms around his torso and my head rested on his chest.

"It is alright," he said, "I am sorry for upsetting you. I am just trying to understand, Wei Ying...but I want you to know this...you are not alone anymore. You have me here for you and with you. My brother and the Wen siblings are still here for you. You now have Baoshan and she will not let you suffer like that again. I know she wishes she could have found you before the Jiangs. It would have been so different for you...I don't know how we would have met them but I know since we are fated to meet and be together, we would have at some point."

"So many words from you, Lan Zhan," I said happily.

"I know," he said bluntly.

I giggled, "thank you for listening."

"Thank you for talking to me," he said in return.

I reached my hand up and placed it on the back of his head. He then leaned down and kissed me. I felt his energy flowing through me again. We were exchanging energy, but I didn't know what for. It always felt good though. It was as if a piece of him was residing inside me now and protecting me. As I felt his energy running through me, I felt myself calm down. Maybe he was helping me relax after such an emotional conversation.

I loved this man so much. His lips were warm, and his energy helped me feel new sense of life that I never knew existed. My body felt warm. I felt my golden core inside me thriving, thrumming, strong and fast. I felt my own spiritual energy flowing through me in such a new way. It was like my core had changed...the spiritual vein in my body felt different and it felt strong.

A new type of core was residing inside of me...I could see it...it was silver. While I was still kissing Lan Zhan, I could see and feel his. His was silver. We just changed...just like that. We pulled apart from the kiss and looked at each other.

"Silver core," we said together.

"We ascended, Lan Zhan," I said holding his face now, "we are immortal."

"I know," he said.

"Why did we ascend through a kiss though?" I asked.

"Because you two share energy now. Since you both have found to be fated soulmates, and the first time you either exchange energy or send the other some to help heal, you now have each other's spiritual energy within you," Baoshan said entering the room, "you two needed to have this special exchange for you to finalize your ascension. You two are together in a way that is different from being apart. You will come to know that you will need each other so much more in the future. And since you share spiritual energy you two have a bond. You can sense whether the other is in danger or not, and soon, you can sense more out of each other."

I nodded, "so do we still need to be sitting in this bath?" I asked.

"No, now you two have to meditate properly for the next four days. Your bodies need to adjust to the new, strong energy residing in your veins. You still cannot overdo yourselves. After those for days, you two can start getting back to using swords and training that way. For now, you need to meditate three times a day, an hour each session."

"Four days?!" I asked, "I'm lucky if I can meditate once a day."

"I have methods that can help you," Baoshan said, "now come, get out and dry off. I have food ready for you."

Lan Zhan and I nodded and did as she said. Four more days of doing nothing but meditating...this is going to be rough on my end.