Beyond Control

Chapter 58

((Sensitive Topics in this Chapter...topics include mental health and panic attacks.. read with caution))
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I had asked Lan Zhan for his help. I was to try and call for my Mother's spirit. I don't know if I was ready, but I don't know if I'd ever be ready. Is she even still lingering? Would she let her spirit not Rest In Peace? If not, why?

"Did you want Huan-Ge here too?" He asked sitting in front of his guqin.

"Ugh...he's probably busy," I said.

"He isn't for Wei Ying," Lan Zhan told me, "I can go ask him if you want?"

I couldn't really speak, or answer. I was having a hard time steadying my breathing, "maybe he should," I finally said, "I'd hate to start a fire or flood the Jingshi by accident over stress."

He smirked, "if you have protection talismans, put them up to protect the Jingshi while I go ask Huan-Ge."

I nodded and watched him leave. I placed a fireproof talisman over the walls of the Jingshi as well as flood protection. It is to keep the Jingshi safe. After doing that, I decided to try and meditate for a bit while I waited. It might help calm my breathing.

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~*Lan Xichen's POV*~

I spent some time with Uncle this morning before meeting Wen Qing for a bit. After a few hours with her and Wen Ning, it was time for me to make my rounds. Going from building to building and checking inventory. I had just finished the treasury when I saw Wangji nearby. He seemed to be concerned about something. After spotting me, he came over to me.

"Huan-Ge," he greeted.

"Good afternoon Wangji," I greeted back, "what is going on?"

"Are you too busy today?" He asked.

"No, just finished making rounds and checking inventory, why?"

"Wei Ying agreed to do inquiry. I will lead but I asked him if he wanted you there as well. He said he didn't want to bother you if you were busy. I told him he isn't busy for Wei Ying," he explained.

I smiled, "do you want me there?" I asked.

"It might calm him down," he said, "he is placing protection talisman on the Jingshi but I need to make sure he stays calm. I wouldn't want a fire or a flood to happen."

I chuckled, "no, you don't want a home makeover?" I asked.

"No," he said, "will you help?"

"I will," I told him, "this is a big deal for him. I have to admit, I am surprised he agreed."

He and I started heading back when he spoke, "when he first had the fire cultivation happen, and that misunderstanding was taken care of, he told me what happened."

"What did he say?" I asked.

"He was a bit upset, or angry. It was as if his emotions have an impact on his new cultivation," he answered.

"Why was he upset?" I asked.

"He felt that he was unsure if he should be angry with Baoshan or not. Or if he should even consider asking about her. He said that if she wanted to help him she would have tried to find him a long time ago. And if she really loved her daughter, she would not have kept her from going back to her mountain," he explained, "he asked me if it was wrong to be upset with her. To be upset over something he is not sure if his mother's spirit is even around. He questioned why he would even bother looking."

"That bad huh?" I asked. Wangji nodded, "we should sit and really discuss everything out first before we really start inquiry. Let him get his questions out and if he still has doubts, let him voice them."

"Thank you, Huan-Ge," he said, "it has not been easy but Wei Ying and I are doing better at talking. You have helped me out a lot with that."

"Of course," I said, "I am always happy to help you and A'Xian."

He nodded. As we were headed to the Jingshi, the wind started to pick up a bit. Other disciples were quickly trying to get back to their own place to take shelter. As we reached the Jingshi, there was a swirling twister just outside the door.

"Well, that would be element number three," I said.

"Wei Ying must be spiraling with his thoughts," Wangji said.

To get around the twisted, he and I had to enter the Jingshi from the back. A'Xian was trying to meditate, which was good but I could tell he was uneasy. He wasn't doing okay. Wangji could also see that.

"Wei Ying?" Wangji asked as he slowly approached him, "can you hear me?"

He opened his eyes, "Lan Zhan?"

That was all it took, and Wangji went over to him and sat beside him, pulling him to his lap, "I am here," he said, "it will be okay."

"I'm sorry," A'Xian said.

I knelt down beside them, "you are creating a wind storm outside," I told him, "try to calm your thoughts. We can talk about this before we attempt anything. You can relax."

A'Xian nodded, "I...can..barely...breathe."

"Try to calm yourself," Wangji said.

"I...cannot," A'Xian said panting...he was close to hyperventilating at this point. So he was having a panic attack.

Wangji decided to try something else, a bit more bold and risky but he still tried it. He lifted A'Xian's head and kissed him. When Wangji first told me about the energy exchange they once had, I was curious but almost didn't want to believe it. Seeing it now, it was all to real. They were glowing a light blue, and I could see energy passing from Wangji over to A'Xian, through their mouths. It was like a calming sort of energy. It was really incredible. I never thought I would ever see such a beautiful thing. A love so pure that it can heal both sides.

"How do you feel?" Wangji asked after pulling away.

"Much better," he said, "we exchanged energy again."

"More like Wangji gave you some of his tranquil energy," I told them, "that was a sight to see."

"Really?" A'Xian asked blushing.

"Seems to me you don't need me anymore for comfort," I said.

"If Lan Zhan isn't around, you can give me your comfortable hugs. Kissing would be weird and probably bad," A'Xian said, "not only would Lan Zhan hate that, I'm sure Wen Qing wouldn't like it either."

"Aaaaand...he is back," I said.

"Mine!" Wangji warned.

"I know!" I said, "you don't have to keep telling me. I'm not interested in A'Xian like that. I have someone already."

"You finally admitted it!" A'Xian said loudly.

"Don't we have some things to discuss?" I asked changing the subject.

"Right," A'Xian said, "I suppose you guys have to tell me what to do."

"We will guide you through this," I told him, "but if you have anything you want to ask us first, you are free to do so."

He nodded and looked as if he was thinking. I'm sure he was thinking of his questions carefully.