Beyond Control

Chapter 57

Later that night, after eating, bathing, and getting into fresh comfortable robes, Lan Zhan and I sat down on the bed. He leaned back again the headboard of the bed as I was laying on him, my arms wrapped around him and my head on his shoulder.

"Are you okay with me telling you?" I asked him.

"I am," he said. Before I could even say anything, there was a knock at the door. I sighed and groaned laying back in the bed. Lan Zhan chuckled, "it's probably Brother," he said.

"Okay," I said, "you answer it."

Lan Zhan nodded and went to answer the door, "Huan-Ge," Lan Zhan greeted.

"Hello Wangji, sorry to just stop by," he said.

"It is fine," Lan Zhan said letting him in, "Wei Ying was going to talk to me about something."

"Was he?" Xichen-Ge asked.

I sat up, "I can share it with you both if you want," I said.

"What was it you were talking about?" Xichen-Ge asked sitting at the table. I moved over to the table as well as Lan Zhan prepared tea.

"While we were watching A'Yuan earlier today, I was telling Lan Zhan that I could relate to A'Yuan's situation. Losing my parents in such a horrible situation and being so young. He has more support than I did at the time but we still had a similar situation," I explained.

"I see, so was the conversation dealing more with that when I walked in?" He asked.

I nodded, "since A'Yuan was around, I didn't want to bring up my situation from the past. I told him I would share it later tonight...with the added potential of tears," I told him.

"I told Wei Ying he can cry if he needs to," Lan Zhan added.

Xichen-Ge smiled, "seems to me that you two are doing much better."

"Mnn," Lan Zhan responded.

"Do you mind if I hear about it?" Xichen-Ge asked.

I shook my head, "I don't mind."

"Wei Ying," Lan Zhan said, "you can tell as much or as little as you want."

I nodded and took in a deep breath, "I was around four or five. I remember my parents and I walking through the woods to find a nearby town to rest for the night. Since they were cultivators, they could sense something was wrong so they had me hide in a tree. I hid as I watched three dire wolves appear. My parents were doing fine with the first two, but the last one was the biggest and the strongest. They killed it but I saw that giant beast tear my parents apart. So many bites and flesh wounds.

I remember begging my parents to be okay and get up. Asking them to keep going as a town was not too far away. My father died first, telling me to remain strong and to always remember who I am and never forget that. My mother, she gave me her red ribbon, telling me that it will be something to remember her by. She also handed me the money pouch with what they had left. She told me that I should always smile. I had too cute of a smile to hide it away. To not hold hatred in my heart no matter how much I have been wronged. Not to cry when things get too tough.

I laid there all night with them. By morning, I knew they were dead, and they were never going to wake again. I found old sticks and brush to create a fire and burn their bodies. I had an extra pouch and put their ashes inside it. I was on my own. I don't know how long I was by myself. A memory always stuck to me though as I lived on the streets."

"What is that?" Xichen-Ge asked.

"It was very cold out but I didn't care. I had a few straw dolls made and as I was playing with them," I pulled out the old rattle drum from a pouch in my robes and showed it to them, "a little boy in white came over to me. He handed me this toy drum and a steam bun. He didn't say anything but he was really kind enough to give those to me. I've always had that memory in my head. Of the boy..." I looked at Lan Zhan, "he had Gusu robes in and a forehead ribbon."