Beyond Control

Chapter 95

Lan Wangji let Wuxian rest on the bed while he readies the bath. When he went back to Wuxian, he was stunned by how beautiful his husband was. Wei Wuxian was just laying down on the bed on his back. His head hanging of the edge as he stared off into the open house of the Jingshi. Lan Wangji smiled at him as he approached him.

"Bath is ready," Wangji told him, "want to share?"

Wuxian meant to sit up but fell backwards off the bed in excitement, "yes!" He said.

Wangji laughed at his childish husband, "you fell."

"I am aware," Wuxian said, sitting up on his knees on the floor. Wangji went to him and picked him up. He meant to carry him bridal style, but Wuxian wrapped his arms around Wangji's neck and his legs around Wangji's waist, "okay, since you want to carry me, I am sure this is fine."

Wangji chuckled, "such a child," he said.

"XianXian is three, everyone knows this," Wuxian played.

"Well, let's get little XianXian to the bath," Wangji said and carried him to the bathtub.

Since they still had nothing on, Wangji just climbed in and settled themselves into the water. Wuxian placed a kiss on Wangji's cheek before he moved to sit beside Wangji and started to clean himself. Wangji was smiling more than he had ever smiled before. He has never been this happy. To have such an amazing person sitting here beside him, living with him, loving him, protecting him, and so much more, it made Wangji feel more alive than ever. He never knew this feeling before, and he never wanted it to disappear.

Wuxian noticed Wangji a little distracted by his thoughts, so he moved to sit between Wangji's legs, "you want to talk to me?" Wuxian asked, "you seem distracted."

Wangji shook his head, "Mnn, I am just happy."

Wuxian smiled back at him and wrapped his arms around Wangji's neck, "and you have every right to be. This marriage was just about me, you know. This was about you too. This marriage was about us, and we will always be together, no matter where we are. I have this new sense of connection with you and I don't want to ever lose this feeling. When Baoshan said that we are to be more connected in the future, and how important it is, I thought she was exaggerating at first. Now, I understand what she meant."

Wangji pecked Wuxian on the lips, "Mnn."

Wuxian chuckled, "back to your, Mnns, again."

"Mnn."

Wuxian kissed him on the lips once more before the two went back to finishing their bath. The two got out and dressed into fresh robes. Wuxian's new robes were tailored to his liking but still accustomed to the GusuLan sect embroidery and colors. He had black, white and blue colored robes. He had hints of red in some of them so he could continue to wear his red ribbon that was very important to him, as it was his mother's. The Lan Sect was kind in that regard to let him keep wearing it.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji soon left the Jingshi with their swords in one hand, and they held each other's hand with the other. The two knew that this happy moment could not last too much longer, as the ambush they had set for Moling Su, was in three more days. They had to prepare and hopefully, get through it without having Wei Wuxian panic in the middle of it all, from either a post trauma episode, or the nearby resentful energy messing with his head.

The two eventually made it to the dining hall and sat with Xichen, Wen Qing, and Wen Ning. A'Yuan was all too thrilled to see Wuxian again so he climbed onto his lap once Wuxian sat down.

"I take it, you want to sit with me for breakfast?" Wuxian asked.

"Want Xian-Gege," A'Yuan said, "please let me sit here."

Wangji couldn't help but smile at the little boy on Wuxian's lap. Wuxian nodded, "you can sit with me," He said, "but remember, no talking when eating."

A'Yuan nodded and started eating a bowl of congee that was sitting in front of him. If Lan Zhan would want to as well, I would love to take in this little boy. Raise him as our son. Wuxian thought as he watched A'Yuan eat.

Wangji at first was going to tell Wuxian not to talk while they were eating but he then realized he didn't technically speak. Not with his mouth. He heard Wei Wuxian's thoughts.

I wouldn't want to burden Lan Zhan this much though. He and I may love each other and we are married, but being a burden is always going to weigh on my shoulders. It would be too much to ask to have a child. Too selfish of me.

Lan Wangji blinked...he did not expect to be able to hear Wuxian's inner monologue with himself. His heart hurt when he heard that Wuxian still thinks himself to be a burden to him. He wanted to correct Wuxian right now, but he didn't know if that would cause Wuxian to have an episode right here in the middle of the dining hall.

Lan Xichen glanced at his brother who looked to be concerned. He saw Wangji looking a bit confused at first but then he saw the pain in his eyes like he just witnessed something bad. Lan Xichen did not like that look he saw on his brother's face, as the look was directed towards Wuxian.

Maybe it is too soon to adopt a child anyway. With the war coming up, I am sure my life will be more on the line than ever. It was already threatened once by using me as bait. It would not surprise me if one day, it comes to that. I lose people I love eventually. I do not want to lose Lan Zhan...I love him very much, but I am never going to get my brain to stop with these negative feelings.

"Wei Ying," Wangji whispered.

"Hmm?" Wuxian hummed looking at him.

"I do not want to panic you or upset you, but I can hear your thoughts," Wangji told him, "you are not a burden, and never will be. I will tell you that everyday if I have to."

Wei Wuxian froze in his seat, his eyes widened, "you what?" He asked.

Wangji held onto Wuxian's face, "it is alright, I hear you. We can talk if you need to," Wangji said and kissed his forehead.

Wuxian nodded and took in a deep breath before letting out a sigh, "okay."

Xichen did not miss that small conversation. He now wanted to sit down with the two of them and make sure everything is actually okay.