Beyond Control

Chapter 104

Wangji and Wuxian were back at the Jingshi. As much as they had cleared the air between the two, Wuxian still felt slightly hurt. He was sitting on the bed with his back against the corner wall, and his knees hugging his chest. He stared out of the window that was beside the bed. The sun was setting and some of the night sky was starting to appear. Stars slowly appearing and the moon in its waning phase.

Wuxian wanted so badly, to be held by Wangji. To be comforted by his presence and the soothing beat of his heart playing in his ear as he rested his head on his chest. He wanted to feel like they were the only two people in the world again...but he wanted to feel important to Wangji's sect. Even though Wuxian was not treated all that kindly in the Yunmeng Jiang Sect, he at least felt free enough to contribute his time to them. He was able to help disciples and he was able to go out and play with his other Shidis and shimeis.

All he had here at the Lan Sect, were a few close people. He had gained approval and acceptance from Lan Qiren, and he gained a brother from Lan Xichen. He had Wen Qing and Wen Ning in his life again and a cute little boy he is learning to absolutely adore. Lastly, he had his husband Lan Wangji. A husband who he loves very much but there were times that he and Wuxian seem like they are a thousand miles apart, even if they are in the same room or vicinity.

Lan Wangji noticed his husband balled up on the bed. He wanted to comfort him, but he was nervous about it at the moment. He had to work this out with Wuxian, or they will just continue to suffer through this. Lan Wangji sighed as he stood up from his sat at his desk. He stood there for a moment debating to move but the moment he saw tears slip out of Wuxian's eyes, he gave in and went to him.

Wangji sat down on the bed beside Wuxian and pulled him onto his lap. He positioned Wuxian between his legs and maneuvered him so Wuxian was sitting sideways. He pulled Wuxian close to his chest, his left arm wrapped firmly around him and right hand, held Wuxian's head to his chest. His fingers gently circling around Wuxian's scalp, as it was something Wuxian loved, was when Wangji pet his head and comforted him this way. Wangji placed his lips on top of Wuxian's head and left them there. He then started to him, Wangxian.

Wuxian turned his head so his face was shoved into Wangji's chest. Wangji basically caged Wuxian in his arms. Not once, wanting to let him go. Wuxian began to feel so much better with this simple gesture from Wangji. He then wrapped his arms around Wangji's torso and gripped onto Wangji's back robes.

Lan Zhan, I am so sorry I left like that. Please do not hate me.

"Could never hate my Wei Ying," Wangji said just loud enough for him to hear, "you needed me more than anything and I made you feel small. I am sorry if it seems like I do not give you enough space to do what you want,"

That isn't it, Lan Zhan. I do not want space from you. I want to feel like I am involved in this sect. I used to train disciples back at the Jiang Sect in archery. I am not doing much here. I also feel like I am not doing much or contributing much to this war.

"I will speak with Shufu and Huan-Ge about having you teach disciples. I want you to feel more at home here, and with this conflict with Meng Yao, how would you contribute?" Wangji said.

"I don't know, I just felt like I could have done more with the Siege," Wuxian told him.

"I promise you, I will be more vocal with you. I will be sure to hear you out when we are in difficult situations. It is not my intention for you to feel left out," Wangji told him and placed a kiss on Wuxian's head.

"Why don't we try to learn if this and move forward now?" Wuxian suggested, "I just want to get as much love from you as possible."

Wangji chuckled quietly, "alright," he said, "and my love is only reserved for you. I can give you as much as you want."

Wuxian lifted his head up and snaked his arms around Wangji's neck, "I love you so much, Lan Zhan. I cannot imagine my life without you anymore. It makes me feel empty if I try."

"I love you too, Wei Ying," Wangji said.

Wuxian moved to sit on his knees as he pulled Wangji in to kiss him. The kiss was gentle. Wangji's burning, trembling hands reached from Wuxian hips, up to his ribs, and stilled themselves as the kiss picked up the pace. Still they kissed, sharing breath, bodies close, the deeper scent of them both, beneath lotus flowers and sandalwood. Wuxian's mouth opened and Wangji's tongue pushed past his lover's clenched teeth to the moist space within.

Wuxian worked his mouth against Wangji's, their tongues battling back and forth like a spar, each trying to succeed the other. The heat rose in Wuxian's cheeks as his tongue touched Wangji's tongue, quick and electric and delicious, then firmer, more determined, more curious about the heat that lay within, seeking to chase down that elusive liquid lightning that reached through both of them.

Wangji carefully rolled them over as he tossed privacy talismans all over the walls. Robes were off very quickly and everything the two were dealing with, seemed to have been forgotten at the moment as the two made love almost all night long.