Beyond Control

Chapter 28

"I have to say, Wei Wuxian, you have been a good patient of mine," Wen Qing stated, "which surprises me for how antsy you can be."

"I got sick for a while, and I just feel like you are using your time to help me, I shouldn't make things difficult for you," Wei Wuxian said.

It didn't go unnoticed by me, that there was a slight guilt kind of look in his eyes. Being around him for a good amount of time, I've come to learn how to read him. He was shaming himself on the inside about something. I will talk to him about it later when we are alone.

"Anyway, your dantian is fully healed and running some energy through your passage ways, your vein is not clogged anymore. So, we can unseal your spiritual energy and open hour spiritual container again. You can start your process of meditating and trying to build a core," Wen Qing explained.

"Thank you," Wei Wuxian said.

I helped Wen Qing open his spiritual container and the unseal his spiritual energy. He looked slightly more lively.

"How do you feel?" I asked.

"Some of the pain from the broken bones I still have is still there, but the pain from my dantian is gone and my body feels...good," he said, "I feel okay."

"That's good to know, but you still need to be careful. Your body is still healing. Since your spiritual energy is back, you can now handle the cold spring longer then fifteen minutes. Try thirty minutes for a few days. If you seem to be okay, you can try an hour. I will still have you take medicine for your broken bones," Wen Qing explained.

"Okay, I will do what you ask of me," he said.

"Good," she said, "I will have that medicine set for you by this evening. Rest up and meditate...if you have a hard time with relaxing then ask Zewu Jun for guidance, I'm sure he can help you concentrate so you can meditate."

"Okay," he said and looked at me.

"Of course I'd help you," I said, "I don't know why you think I wouldn't."

Wei Wuxian smiled at me, "that's true."

"Alright, I will see you both a little later," Wen Qing said and took her leave.

I then looked at Wuxian, "when you told her she was using her time to help you, why do I feel like there is something your hiding inside?" I asked.

"It's just as how I have been in the past," he said, "I feel like when others help me they could use that time on someone else. So if I can get them to get out of helping me, they can go do their thing. When they insist, I feel like I have no choice but to conform."

"So you undervalue yourself and hope people would spend their time doing anything else but attending to you?" I asked and sat down beside him and let out a sigh, "when are you going to get that your life is just as important as any other life. Your life should be valued and you should value yourself."

He let out a huff, "I am not sure if I will ever accept it," he said, "I grew up being told I am a servant's son and useless. I grew up with the idea that I have no value, so how am I supposed to suddenly accept that I do? I am happy to have you with me and helping me, and I am happy that I found a partner like Lan Zhan, but I feel like I don't deserve any of this. I am not an heir. I don't even feel like I am a head disciple," he had tears forming in his eyes.

"Yu Ziyuan and those at Lotus Pier, they had shattered the self-confidence and self-worth in you," I told him, "you should know, your father was Jiang Fengmian's second. He was not a servant. When your father met your mother, he left Lotus Pier to be with her. And your mother, Cangse, she is the daughter and disciple of the most respected immortal being, Baoshan Sanren. Which makes you her grandson. Being a grandson to some like Baoshan Sanren, is a gift in itself.

"You are worthy of my brother because he values you and he values your goals on helping the innocent and serving justice. As for me, I am so proud to be sitting with you. You are someone who has done something not many would ever consider doing, which is sacrificing your golden core. You even mastered a cultivation path that has drove people into insanity and you made it work. You have no idea how incredible you really are."

He shook his head as if he was trying to deny my words. That was when I pulled him into a hug. He collapsed into me and sobbed. I knew this was the first time anyone really sat down and said such things to him. He needs to hear them. He needs to know just how incredible he really is. I managed to adjust how we were sitting on the bed. He had his head in my shoulder. I could hear that he was slowly starting to calm down from crying. He soon fell asleep like this and I was afraid to move to wake him.

Uncle and Wangji entered after half an hour, "what is going on?" Wangji asked.

"I was just comforting him," I said, "Want to take my place?"

He nodded. I carefully changed places with Wangji. Wuxian seemed to notice a slight difference in the person as he nuzzled is face into my brother's neck.

"Do I want to know?" Uncle asked.

"I was having a good talk with him. He has been opening up to me quite a bit. He undervalues himself as he was undervalued by the Jiang growing up. He feels that we are wasting time on helping him when there are others who are needed more. Which tells me, he isn't used to this much care and he gets guilty when he has too much help," I explained.

"Wei Wuxian has been through a lot, hasn't he?" Uncle asked.

I nodded. As Wangji and Uncle were here, I told them everything that Wuxian had been willing to open up to me about. They were surprised to know about some of the things they learned. Wei Wuxian was abused physically and verbally at the Yunmeng Jiang Sect for years. Jiang Wanyin still continues with that verbal abuse to this day. Yanli has been trying to get Wei Wuxian into a better place. Uncle and Wangji agreed that they didn't want Wei Wuxian back in Lotus Pier if all it does is bring him pain.

The question was, how are we going to get him to leave Lotus Pier and stay here in Cloud Recesses?

The answer, was Wangji. Only, him and Wuxian haven't exactly been able to really further their relationship. That was something I want to try and help fix. As well as trying to get close to Wangji again like when we were kids.