heart like yours (jennifer jareau)

1. twenty three

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"i appreciate your concern. none of this is your fault. it's me. it's me and my head. in winter, i collapse." - virginia woolf

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Delilah danced to the music still blaring in the club a few hours later, a blonde stranger's hands on her waist and her head tilted back against their shoulder as they moved together. She was drunk, very drunk, and she knew she was either going to end up having sex in the club bathroom or going home and vomiting her guts out in front of JJ.

And, honestly, Delilah would prefer the vomiting. Club sex was even more disgusting than that.

"You want another drink, baby?" the woman behind Delilah whispered, lips dragging over Delilah's throat and making Delilah shiver.

"Vodka double with lemonade," Delilah said.

"I'll be back," the girl said, moving away from Delilah on the dance floor.

Delilah walked over to the booth where the few remaining members of her team were. Liv was off dancing with a woman Delilah didn't recognise, while Derek and Elle were off dancing with a group of men and women. Penelope and Spencer were sat talking over drinks, while JJ was texting on her phone beside them.

Delilah sat down beside JJ, leaning back against the booth and taking a deep breath.

"You look like you're having fun," JJ said, putting her phone away to look at Delilah.

"I'm hot," Delilah said, tucking her hair behind her ears.

"Yes, you are," JJ mumbled, looking Delilah up and down.

"Don't make it messy, pretty girl," Delilah laughed, sitting up to turn and look at JJ. "What about you? Are you having fun?"

"I'd be having more fun if you weren't dancing with that girl," JJ said.

Delilah raised an eyebrow.

"Jayje?" she said quietly. "You drunk, babe?" she asked.

"Very," JJ shrugged. "I'm still being honest. What's that saying? A drunk mind speaks sober thoughts," she said.

"Yeah, that's the saying. Why are you miserable that I'm dancing with this girl?" Delilah said.

"'Cause you're my best friend, not hers," JJ said, sipping on her vodka lemonade.

"I'm not dancing with this girl to be best friends," Delilah said quietly.

"I know," JJ said.

Delilah frowned for a minute, looking over the table at Penelope and Spencer. They were still too deeply involved in their conversation to even know what JJ was talking about.

"Here's your little girlfriend," JJ said, taking another sip of her drink.

Delilah turned around, wincing when she felt a cold hand slip into hers. She looked down, seeing it was JJ's hand. Delilah squeezed it, looking back at the girl she'd been dancing with.

She knew what JJ wanted by holding her hand, even if she didn't say it. And she knew she had a choice to make. This girl wasn't anything special, but she was someone Delilah would probably have sex with if they kept dancing. And JJ was upset Delilah was dancing with another girl over her, even if Delilah and JJ were just best friends.

JJ wanted Delilah to stay with her.

"Hey, you coming back to dance?" the girl said, leaning against the side of the booth and smiling at Delilah, holding out the vodka double.