heart like yours (jennifer jareau)

2. thirty seven

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"i love you- i do- but i am afraid of making that love too important. because you're always going to leave me. we can't deny it. you're always going to leave." - david levithan 

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April 29th.

Two weeks before Delilah would go off work for a month to become a certified foster parent. The night Delilah had to tell JJ about it because JJ would not buy any excuse Delilah used for her vacation time.

JJ knew Delilah all too well, so, the truth was the only thing that Delilah could tell her.

There was a knock on the apartment door and Delilah left the kitchen, opening the door and hurrying back to the kitchen as JJ stepped in.

"Are you okay?" JJ laughed, closing the door behind her.

"I left the blender on," Delilah said, after smacking it off. "I'm making banana paste ice lollies for Jack for tomorrow. I wanna be that kid's favourite."

Jack was sleeping in Delilah's room, now, because he was staying over tonight as a favour to Hotch and Haley (read: Delilah told Hotch to date his wife before she served him with divorce papers), but Delilah didn't think he was going to wake up any time soon.

"I'm sure banana paste ice lollies are the way to do that," JJ laughed, walking into the kitchen. "How was your day off?"

"Long and boring. What about you? Did you actually enjoy time to yourself or did you sit and go through case files again?" Delilah said.

"Case files," JJ chuckled. "Until I got sick of seeing dead bodies and went for some retail therapy instead."

"Very fun," Delilah said.

"So, uh," JJ said, watching Delilah start to pour the banana baste into the ice lolly tray. "You said you wanted to talk about something? You okay?"

"You might want to sit down," Delilah said, giving her a small smile. "There's a lot and it's complicated."

"Are you dying?" JJ sank into the seat at the island, face pale.

"Oh, god, no. Sorry, I didn't realise how ominous that sounded," Delilah frowned. "No, I'm fine. So is Liv. And my dad. No, this is about the thing I wouldn't tell you about."

"Oh, thank god. I was scared," JJ muttered. "You might want to work on breaking news to people a bit better, honey. Like, seriously."

"Sorry," Delilah said.

"What's going on, then?" JJ asked curiously.

"So, I had a weird dream the day we got the Hankel case, about... Well, it was about my real dad, and he mentioned Liv and Eli, my brother, so, I kind of hacked into Penelope's systems, and she doesn't know so let's not tell her, and I went looking for answers. And I got them. And they're not the answers I was expecting to find," Delilah said.

JJ blinked slowly.

"You... You hacked into Penelope's systems?" JJ repeated.

"Well, not technically. I know her password, so, I just... Committed identity fraud? Impersonated an FBI agent, even though I am also an FBI agent? I'm not sure on the specific crime, but there definitely was one," Delilah said.

"Why didn't you use your own log in?" JJ asked.

"Because Penelope has built a firewall that's way better than ours and I wanted to keep this quiet. I have managed to piss a lot of people off in my life and revenge is something I am expecting to happen to me in my life, so," Delilah sighed.