heart like yours (jennifer jareau)

3. twenty

AN: hey guys!

heavy one again today! sorry in advance because yikes🌝 i hope you guys enjoy tho! delilah villain era coming soon <3

TW:
mentions of torture
mentions of abuse
mentions of corpses
mentions of sexual assault by a parent
mentions of murder
attempted assault
descriptions of blood
hallucinations
chloroform
mutilation

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"i wasn't beautiful anymore. now i looked like what i was, a raw wound." - janet fitch

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If there was one thing Delilah hated about herself (and, if she was honest, there was an entire list, so this was a dangerous road to go down), it was that her father could control her more than any else in the world.

Jorge had never had this kind of hold on Delilah. She'd been a lot older with Jorge, twenty to twenty four, but she'd also had a lot more training when she went undercover with Jorge. He had some hold over her, because she loved his kids like her own, but it was not a hold like the one Elliot had over her.

Elliot was her father; her blood. He had tortured her as a child, had tortured her best friend in front of her, was going to torture her nephew in front of her.

Delilah felt like she was the little girl she'd been the first time she was here. She felt like she was Isobel again, slipping back into that hazy mindset that Delilah just knew would give her gaps in her memory if they ever got out of here.

She was breaking. Elliot was wining, and she was falling to pieces, and she didn't know what day it was or how long they'd been here, and her withdrawals were wrecking her nervous system, and she had blood under her fingernails from scratching her skin to try and find that fucking microchip.

Delilah had never broke, before. Sure, nothing had ever been to this degree, but, even then, she prided herself in maintaining a blank face through it all.

She didn't like this. She felt weak. She felt like a child, and she was supposed to protect Ziggy, this time. How could she protect him if she was quite literally having a mental breakdown in chains?

Ziggy didn't seem too bothered by Delilah's state of mind. It was clear to Delilah that he was breaking, too. She was surprised he'd lasted as long as he had, but she didn't even know how long it had been since either of them had been abducted, so, she wasn't sure what that said about either of them.

The poor kid just stared up at the ceiling blankly, one eye swollen shut from fresh beatings, chest barely rising and falling with exhausted breaths. It was like nobody was home.

Delilah eased herself up on the mattress, the chains clinking as she blinked wearily around the room.

It was dim, but not dark enough she couldn't see. She had to squint to make out the details of Dylan's bones, but she didn't want to ever see them again, so, she didn't bother trying.

She wanted to go home, but Delilah was quickly coming to realise that home wasn't a place. It was the people that gave you the feeling of being at home, at being so in love with life that nothing else mattered.

It was Penelope's smiles and joy that made Delilah feel like she'd found an angel on earth. It was Derek's jokes and teasing that made Delilah feel like she had a big brother for the first time since losing Eli.

It was Spencer's hugs and trust in Delilah that made her feel like she was actually making a difference in someone's life. It was Emily's silent understanding and constant presence that made Delilah feel like she was not alone in lying to the entire world about who she was.