heart like yours (jennifer jareau)

3. thirty one

AN: hey guys! happy monday!

so i am sorry in advance for this chapter! that's all i'm gonna say!

TWs:
daddy issues
descriptions of violence
derek morgan
panic attacks
it's still giving psychotic break
delilah spiralling as per usual

also! you might notice the chapter quotes are a bit different for the rest of the season! i'm excited to see if anyone can figure it out bc they set up book 3 plot points :) 

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"smiles change after you die. his used to be warm and soft. it's cold, now. it scared me. it makes me feel wrong inside. he's going to kill me, one day. i can feel it in my bones." - I.M, entry 3

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January 2008 brought about a new variety of things.

For one, it was a whole new year. They got to celebrate Christmas and New Years in the new house as a family. Ziggy was almost fully recovered from the arm surgeries to correct his shoulder and elbow, and the cast was off his ankle. His scars were healing, and so were Delilah's.

Her hands were no longer broken. Some physiotherapy had helped her build her strength back up, but she knew it would take some time training to get back to her former level of fitness. Her ribs were also declared healed, which was a relief.

The bruises were gone, too. All that was left were the scars around her wrists from where the chains had cut into her during the beating she delivered, and the scars on her face.

It looked better with time; less red and irritated. It was still terrifying to have something of this magnitude on her face. And it wasn't even the scar that Elliot gave her that bothered her the most. It was the silver sliver scars surrounding it from where her own rings sliced through the skin on her face and left nothing but destruction in their wake.

Delilah's hands ruined everything she touched; including herself.

But that was something she was working on in therapy, which she was still attending. It went from three appointments a week back to a normal one in office and one phone call a week. Delilah didn't think she'd ever heal from this, but Vince was trying his best.

It wasn't enough. Nothing could ever fix what she was.

January meant Delilah could go back to work, soon. Her transfer had been approved, though she didn't know where she was going yet because Strauss had the induction meeting scheduled for in two weeks, in February. Delilah didn't really give a shit where she was.

As long as she was nowhere near the team, she didn't care.

The team were another thing. Excluding Emily and Spencer, the rest were problems in their own right. Dave also didn't count, because he was her dad, and, honestly, Dave just wanted to play poker and cuddle with his cat. Delilah was down for that.

Emily was around at home now, pretty much all the time. Ziggy had warmed up to Emily enough that he was quite happy with her being a fixture at home, along with Nora and Colin being there all the time. Delilah and Liv loved it, too. Liv was back at work, now, and Delilah enjoyed Emily's company around the house. She enjoyed being with Emily and Liv around the house. They truly were in love.

Spencer also wasn't an issue. Delilah had called him after Penelope's case, had managed to explain through half sob-half stutter explanations that she was transferring from the team, but that she wanted him in her life still if he didn't hate her. She wasn't going to break her promise by not explaining she was running away.