heart like yours (jennifer jareau)

3. ten

AN: you're welcome😁

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"and if life is repeated a thousand times, still you, you, and again, you." - forough farrokhzad

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Three medications.

Delilah was going to start taking three different medications to try and combat the PTSD, depression, and anxiety that had made a home under her skin at a mere five years old and only grew deeper roots in her nervous system over the years.

Zoloft; which would induce serotonin production, levomilnacipran; which would help regulate her mood swings, help her sleep, and allow her to focus better, and diazepam; for her anxiety.

Delilah was not happy about it. She'd made that perfectly clear to Vince when he'd presented her with the prescription to take to the chemist, but she had gone to the chemist and, that night, she stood in the bathroom and swallowed down one of each tablet.

She hoped they would help her sleep, if nothing else. The only time she had slept peacefully since Dylan died was when she shared a bed with her children, who were now dead, or when she shared a bed with JJ, which would not be happening anymore because, apparently, their friendship was ruined.

Well, not ruined. Just... different. It was everything Delilah knew would happen, but it was not as messy as she had expected now they'd actually confronted their feelings. It was just sad, and that took her by surprise more than anything.

How could a girl so accustomed to sadness still be surprised by it?

It was because Delilah was lonely and sad. Before this, if she was sad, she had JJ right there by her side to cheer her up, her own little guardian angel. Now, now she did not have JJ, because JJ was going to be standing by Will's side to keep her mother's heart together.

Delilah didn't get it, but she didn't blame JJ. She was just sad, and lonely, and now medicated.

She thought this was supposed to stop her from spiraling. Apparently not.

It probably didn't help that their phone call with the lawyer had basically been like talking to a brick wall. He was trying, and they were paying him too much money, and nothing was happening. The Nevada foster care system did not have any sense of urgency over their case.

There was literally nothing they could do but wait and keep visiting Ziggy until they got a court date.

Though, there was one benefit of this taking a while. Delilah would, hopefully, have taken to her medications and would be less mentally ill when he could come and live with them.

She tried not to think too hard about it, but she couldn't sleep as she stared up at the dark ceiling in her bedroom. Liv was at work, so, Delilah was alone, and she didn't really want to be alone.

But she ignored the weird feeling in the back of her mind, closing her eyes and rolling onto her stomach to try and fall asleep.

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One twenty seven in the morning.

Delilah had gone to bed at around half eleven because of being in work tomorrow, but she was beyond irritated at being unable to sleep.

She'd tossed and turned, moved to try and sleep on the couch in her room, picked up a book and abandoned it, made a cup of chamomile tea, sprayed lavender spray on her pillow, and was still not asleep.