heart like yours (jennifer jareau)

3. thirty two

AN: happy monday guys!

i don't think there's any major TWs for this chapter except mentions of rape and delilah being borderline psychotic rn, but please let me know if i'm wrong so i can add them here!

hope you guys enjoy and i'll see you next week! <333

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"something happened in the woods, something weird, and dylan is back. he's come back wrong. eli used to tell me about the appalachian horror stories and legends. there's a dead boy in my arms most days, and you can smell death clinging to his skin." - I.M, entry 7

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"Wake up, sleepy head."

Delilah groaned, shoving away the hand poking her in her cheek. She blinked her eyes open wearily, looking around the dim hotel room before her eyes found Emily Prentiss sat on the side of the bed, staring down at her.

"You found my room instead of your own, last night," Emily said. "I take it you and JJ didn't have the best conversation."

"I don't have nightmares if someone else is in the room, and, luckily for you, you're the closest thing to Liv here right now," Delilah muttered, sitting herself up and rubbing her eyes carefully. "And, no, it didn't. She hates me, or she should hate me, and I hate me, too."

"You wanna talk about it?" Emily asked, handing Delilah a takeout cup of coffee. "Dave made a breakfast run for all of us. We're leaving in about thirty minutes."

Delilah sipped on the coffee, sighing as she looked at Emily.

"We got into an argument and I told her I don't love her and stormed off," Delilah muttered. "I'm ruining everything."

"I... Yeah, I mean, maybe it looks that way," Emily frowned. "Why'd you say it?"

"She told me to!" Delilah whined.

"Oh," Emily blinked. "Maybe you can explain this a bit better?"

"Maybe I just pretend none of this is actually real," Delilah murmured.

"Not a healthy coping mechanism, but, sure," Emily said. "We can do that. Liv will make you talk, though. So, it's me now, and I can tell her for you so she can just comfort you and cuddle you when you're sad later, or it's you have to tell her 'cause she won't let you avoid it for long."

Delilah rolled her eyes, groaning as she flopped back on the blankets, keeping her cup upright in her hand. Emily studied her for a moment.

"Come on. I could do with a smoke," Emily said.

Delilah dragged herself out of the bed and followed Emily out onto the balcony, wincing at the cold January air on her bare arms. Delilah sat down on one of the chairs, Emily sitting in the other, and took the cigarette and lighter Emily held out to her.

Delilah took a drag of the smoke, watching the clouds move in the sky.

"I think I'm having a psychotic break," Delilah murmured.

"Been there," Emily sighed, smoke twisting in the air.

"I barely remember last night, but I wasn't drunk. I don't even remember what JJ and I argued about until the end. We were in the bar, and then we were in her room and she's touching me and I freak out and leave," Delilah murmured. "I know that's not a sign of a psychotic break. Well, it is. Not a big one. But... I know I'm having one. I can't... Nothing feels real, anymore. I don't feel real."