heart like yours (jennifer jareau)

2. nine

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"if only my heart were as cold as i pretend it is, maybe i could get over this." - jessica katoff 

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Delilah sat in the therapists office the next morning, staring blankly ahead at the painting on the wall behind her therapist. It was of a pretty meadow, with a mountain in the background and flowers blooming from the leafy grass.

If she looked long enough, she could almost make out the brush strokes used to add such detail to the painting.

"You know, I get paid at the end of this session, either way, so, if you wanna waste your time staring at a painting, you can."

Delilah looked over at her therapist, a man she'd worked with over her time since joining the BAU. He was a Bureau appointed one, but nothing was shared with anyone unless Delilah gave permission or he feared she was in trouble.

His name was Vince Hugo and he was one of the only men in this world outside her family and friends that she trusted. Hell, she probably trusted him more than some of her family or friends. Vince knew more about Delilah than anyone, including Hotch, Gideon, Dave and Liv.

"How much was the painting?" Delilah said.

"About forty thousand? Commissioned, of course," Vince said.

"Of course," Delilah looked at him with a small smile. "Eat the rich, right?" she said.

"Honey, we are the rich," Vince laughed, raising an eyebrow at her. "Now, as much as I have come to adore that grumpy little face of yours, what caused you to need an emergency appointment after we agreed your mental stability was at an all time high just a few weeks ago?" he said.

"I am having several problems," Delilah said.

"Aren't you always, hon?" Vince tutted. "What is it? Is it Liv? Is she blurting your business all over the place, again? Or is it the secret love you're harboring for your straight bestie? Or is it the anniversary coming up? Twenty eight, Lilah, you're gonna be old," he said.

Delilah couldn't help but smile. Vince was one of the most professional therapists, one of the most professional people, in the world. Yet, he and Delilah had gotten to know each other very well and their relationship had developed from the stiff awkwardness into this comfortable space where they could joke about Delilah's trauma and work on it at the same time.

"Liv is getting annoying, lately. She keeps judging me for staying besties with JJ. Like, we work together. If I pull away, it'll ruin our work relationship and I'll end up transferring departments because it's too messy. And don't even get me started on this secret love thing, okay? We had a whole ass moment on the balcony a few cases ago, looking at the moon and just talking and, I swear, Vin, I was in gay panic," Delilah said.

"Liv is probably just trying to look out for you, but it's important for you to set boundaries on what she can and can't tease you about. Tell her to mind her own business and gossip about something else. And, the balcony? Watching the moon? Oh, Delilah, that is so sapphic! How are you surviving this torture?" Vince said.

"Barely, but pulling away from JJ is bad," Delilah said.

"It is, if you're doing it for the wrong reasons. It's not, if it's what you think is best," Vince said. "Now, that leaves us with the anniversary. Spill, Lilah."

"We had a case that ended last night. These kids were beaten to death in the woods. We didn't realise the killer was another kid. A twelve year old. Part of the case was searching this haunted house. It was on a cliff, no electricity, all creaky and old and dusty. When I looked out the window, there were trees everywhere," Delilah trailed off, leaning back in the seat.