heart like yours (jennifer jareau)

3. twenty four

AN: hey guys! happy monday!

so as of right now, i'm currently planning my break from updating to be the weeks of the fifteenth and twenty second of april to finish my uni deadlines. i will keep you updated if i need to take a third week which i'm praying i don't need to but uni is making me crazy🌝

on the bright side! i've figured out s3! or the rest of it! up until 3.30 is the first half of s3 and then we'll have a timeskip between then and 3.31 to keep going with s3 bc i'm actually only a few cannon episodes in. i'm currently writing penelope's episode which will fall in the first half of s3

anyway, i hope you guys enjoy!

TWS: 
mentions of death/bodies
suicidal ideations
mentions of sexual abuse

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"what did i expect? to leave a haemorrhage of violets wherever i walked? no. a lost son is called prodigal. a lost daughter is just lost." - emily rose cole 

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Delilah Bellerose was dead.

Well, that was a fucking lie if she'd ever told one. She was very much alive; with a beating heart, a conscious brain, with scars.

Survivors had scars. Victims had graves.

They would've found Dylan's body, maybe found the other bodies, too. There would be a funeral, soon. Delilah wished they were lowering her into the dirt beside the other victims of her father.

It wasn't even that she wanted to die. Well, no, that was another lie. She didn't want to be alive, but she wasn't actively going to go about ending her own life. She had ruined everything enough for everybody around her, so, killing herself would just be the final nail in the metaphorical coffin, and she couldn't do that to them.

She was just genuinely shocked at the fact she had survived again. She was like a cat with nine fucking lives, but she knew she must be getting close.

Nobody could survive what she had survived without losing themselves in the process. You couldn't look satan in the eyes and leave without some of his sin being intertwined in your soul. You could not beat the devil without becoming like him.

Elliot Milner was the worst man in the world, and Delilah was his favourite daughter.

His blood, her blood, it had all been scrubbed from her skin until Delilah was near blistering from the overwhelming heat and not from the pain that was consuming her emotionally. It was a nice change, even if she could feel the exhaustion seeping into her veins now she was back in her hospital bed and had finished her IV bag.

The room was empty, but the blinds were open enough for Delilah to see Liv through the gaps outside in the hallway. She was talking to a doctor, and Delilah could see glints of black and blonde hair that meant Emily and JJ were with her.

At least Delilah didn't have to introduce Emily and Liv, now. They must've bonded quite well during the past few weeks of Delilah being locked in a basement, considering Emily was holding Liv's hand when Liv lifted her hand to explain something and dragged Emily's hand up with her.

Delilah wondered where Ziggy was, where Dave was, where the rest of the team was. Hotch would have to conduct an interview with her soon, because Delilah had murdered her father and they needed the quick version to relay to Strauss to close the case officially, and then Delilah could go on suspension to process this all until they wanted her back and felt she'd been punished enough for her decisions.