heart like yours (jennifer jareau)

2. thirty four

AN: hey my dudes🫶🫶

double update tonight bc i'm feeling nice and i'm dying to get to s3 already which is only five chapters away including this one!

i don't think there are any extreme TWs here, just mentions of spencer's addiction, and talk about ziggy's childhood so mentions of drugs & abuse.

i hope you're all having a lovely monday💗

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"people. people. endless noise. and i am so tired. i would like to sleep under trees; red ones, blue ones, swirling passionate ones." - fyodor dostoyevsky

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As it turned out, caring about somebody sucked. It was fucking exhausting.

Delilah had barely slept since she had her own nightmare about her father, but knowing about Spencer's addiction had just made it worse. She was getting two or three hours a night, at most, and she was drinking more coffee to try and stay awake.

Delilah didn't blame Spencer. She'd told him to call her, that she would always answer, and she'd kept her promise. He'd called when he wasn't doing great and Delilah answered. Most of the time, she went running, or she went to pick him up and bring him home to her apartment.

Liv was concerned. It was blatantly obvious. Even when Delilah went to pick Spencer up and saw Liv's shoes missing from near the door, her car missing from the parking lot, Liv was always back in the morning asking questions about if Delilah had slept or eaten, yet.

Most of the time, the answer was no. Not that that answer had changed to a yes at all in the past few years, but, still.

Even work wasn't a distraction. They had that case with the fires and the fake firefighter and Spencer was more on his game than he'd been in months, but Delilah was more off than she'd been in her entire time in the BAU. She just couldn't focus or deal with the abundance of thoughts running wild in her mind.

Something had to give, and that something was the secrets she'd been keeping from Liv about Eli.

So, Delilah did what she did best: she scared the shit out of Liv.

"Sweet baby Jesus and the grown one too!" Liv yelled, jumping back as Delilah turned the living room lamp on.

"It's, like, five in the morning. Where have you been?" Delilah asked.

"I stayed for a few traumas," Liv said, kicking her shoes off by the door and finally closing it. "What are you doing waiting up for me like some fucking stalker hiding in the dark? Are you trying to send me into cardiac arrest?"

"I was actually here waiting for you after work, but you didn't come home," Delilah said.

"You said you wouldn't be back until tomorrow," Liv said.

"We figured it out quicker than we thought we would," Delilah said.

"You didn't text me," Liv said. "This is on you."

"I didn't think you'd be out all night, and then a film came on and it was actually really good, and then I was on the phone to Spencer for an hour or two-"

"You need to make an appointment with Vince," Liv said, flopping down on the sofa tiredly. "I'm not against you helping him, but it can't happen at the cost of your mental health. You've barely been sleeping or eating and it's not gonna happen. Not on my watch."