Mastering the Valley: Completed

Chapter 46: Self-Reflection

     "No." I respond.
  "No? Baby you are tired you have been through a lot today. You need to rest."
  "I can't be around him." I say, very quietly.
"If I can't hear you I can't respond. Speak up."
  "She said she can't be around him." Hawk jumps in. "And can you blame her? I mean he is the one who sent that anonymous message, with the 'proof'. I mean why would you make her be around someone who is accusing her of giving herself a fucking abortion." Hawk says.
   "Hawk, stop." I respond, starting to tear up. I look to him. He looks to me and realizes about what he just said and what it meant to me, and to him.
   "Kate." He grabs me and pulls me close to him following with a warm embrace. His body is warm, his arms replace the feeling of a blanket on a rainy day. He truly cares.
   "Listen I know you care about my daughter. I also respect that. However, I am her father. I want her to come with me so we can spend time together before I leave for almost the entire summer."
  "Wait." I move, Hawk removing his arms around me, I turn to my father. "What do you mean 'almost the whole summer'? I thought you were only leaving for a month." I say.
  "I just can't do that Katie-Kat. I have-"
"A lot of business meetings to attend to. I've heard that one before. Do you even care about what has happened to me in the last 24 hours? Or did you only come back to clear our name and your reputation. You know what, whatever. I'm over it. You clearly don't understand what this has meant to me. I mean do you even care that I have been having flashbacks from the first time I was kidnapped? Or maybe even raped? You don't seem to be there for me when I need you so I am done being the only person in our entire family who is real. 'Oh smile for the camera Katie-Kat.' 'Oh daring make sure you pose for Time Magazine.' 'Don't eat that Donut you are going to be fat.' I'm SO DONE DAD. I'm done being your perfect little angel. I'm NOT PERFECT. I have problems too. But you know what. Go back to New York. While your at it, you can push the knife farther into my back." I say. I turn to Mrs and Mr LaRusso. "I'm going to go lie down." I say quietly.
  I walk up the stairs but stop right before I reach the top. I want to know what my dad says to the LaRusso's.
Mrs LaRusso says. "I'm sorry Jerry, but you might want to reconsider going back to New York. Your daughter is very upset and-"
  "You know this hasn't been easy on me either, right? I have been trying so har ever since Eleanor died but I can't seem to get her. She always seems to push me away."
  "Have you ever thought to think about her feelings? I mean she was kidnapped. Do you even know what that means? It means that you were taken away from everything you know so someone can do whatever they want with you. She has faced more trauma in her life than I have in mine, and I'm 45. She has been raped, she has been abused, she has lost her mom, and to make it worse her own dad blows her off. I'm not one to tell you how to raise your child, but first you might want to get to know her." I hear high heels walk towards the stairs. "If you don't mind, I'm going to go check on your child. Have a good night Jerry." Mrs LaRusso says. I hurry up and get to the bedroom. I run in and jump on the bed.
   Mrs LaRusso walks up to the door. "Knock knock knock." she says.
  "Hey Mrs LaRusso." I say.
"How are you holding up?" she says.
   "I'm fine." I say.
  "You are nowhere near fine." she says, walking up to my bed. She takes off her heels and gets on the bed. "Wanna talk about it?" she says.
  "I moved here to be normal." I say. "I just want to be normal." I say, starting to cry.
  "You are normal." she says.
"I am far from normal. Normal is a dream. I came here to learn more about my mom, but ever since I have arrived it has been one problem after another. It's like my mom is sending me a signal that I need to go back home." I say.
  "Or she's sending you a sign that you need to start living your life for you. You can't keep on like how you are. It's going to get you nowhere." she says.
  "But I've always been told what to do. 'Cross your legs when you sit down.' 'Smile when you are in public.' I'm so tired of being told what to do but I also don't know what to do when I get freedom. I'm just not good at this stuff." I say.
  "Your not good at being a kid is what it sounds like to me. You are in Los Angeles California. You are in a city full of fun experiences just waiting to happen. It's time for you to focus on being a teenager." Mrs LaRusso says. "Yes, you need to forgive your dad and figure out some of the problems going on with your brother, but you can't truly be happy until you figure out who you are."
   "Do you really think so?" I ask.
  "I truly do." she says.
    "Do you wanna talk about what happened tonight?" she asked.
  "Why me?" I say. "They could've gotten any other person but why me...." I say, questioning myself.
  "Because people like them go for people who have already been through hell. The lower they can make you feel the more they can get what they want." she says. "They like it when you cry and beg for freedom."
   "But I don't know if that was worse than the police station. I had to go into this room where the guy took the cuffs off of my wrists and ankles and I saw all of the weapons they used on me and I saw the blood stains on some of the stuff."
  "You have been through a lot in the past few hours. You need to get some rest." Mrs LaRusso says.
  "What time do I need to wake up?" I say.
"You can get up whenever you want. Samantha is going to go to the dojo at 12, so take with that what you will. Are you sure you don't want to go with your father?" she asks.
  "I don't even know if I can look at him right now." I say.
  "He's going to come by here to get you at 2 tomorrow. He wants to spend time with you." she says.
  "But how can he when he knows that he's taking Noah's side?"
  "It's not about taking someone's side. As a parent I can tell you that he is just trying to solve the problems. He just wants the best for you."
  "He has a real funny way of showing it." I respond.
"I know." She gets off of the bed and puts her heels back on. "Goodnight Kate." she says.
  "Goodnight Mrs LaRusso." I respond.
  She closes the door, and the night is just getting started.