Secrets - The secrets that protect us

Chapter 63

Luna

The time had flown by while they had been going through books and files in the ARIA library. They had picked out a couple too and Lucas placed most of them on his office desk now. She went to the sofa that stood at the wall and put her pile on it next to her bag.

When she turned around, Lucas was leaning against the desk, his eyes fixed on her. She knew what he wanted before he even said it. And she wanted to run. As fast as she could out of this room.

"Don't," she said when his mouth opened. She rather kiss those lips.
He stretched out his hand for her to take. "Come here," he told her, she was hesitant. Lucas had his way to get any answer out of her, to touch her just the right way to make her melt, to distract her and get whatever he wanted from her.

His eyes, that gorgeous green was looking at her so softly, telling her he wanted to wrap her in his arms and never let go, that he wanted her and would not share.
She sighed and took his hand, letting him pull her closer. Her eyes landed on his chest, remained there as he spoke.

"Luna, we should talk about it. Talk about how you feel with all of that and what you want, what you need. You can say whatever you want." That was the problem. She didn't know what she wanted. She didn't know how to feel with all of that. Yes, she had felt helpless when she was in his mother's body and all of that happened. Yes, she was scared.

But that was during the vision and right now she didn't feel like that. She didn't feel like that when she fought against Malcolm. She didn't feel like that when she trained with Caleb and Emma. She knew which power she had and she knew how to use it to protect herself and her friends.

"I wanna go out," she changed the topic and looked up to him. "You and me? Can we go on a date? Maybe a movie at your place and a pizza?" He cupped her face and placed a kiss on her forehead. Yes, she was melting for him, leaning into his touch and into his body.

"If you wanna go out on a date, I take you on one. On a thousand, you know that. But Luna," he left the sentence open for her to speak.
"I'm fine," she assured.

"No, no you're not fine," Lucas disagreed softly. As if she would break, she wouldn't. She was fine. He let go of her hand and wrapped his arms around her, between her waist and hips, locking her in place. "You had a full-on panic attack, yesterday. You saw right through me and you didn't recognize your surroundings until you passed out."

"If you're worried that I can't fight Malcolm, then you don't have to be. I've got it, I can fight him and you saw that," her voice rose a little. She put her hands on his chest, slightly pushing.
"I saw. I'm not saying you couldn't. I'm saying that what happened had hurt you and things like yesterday could happen again if you don't talk about it."

She dropped her head. Unease spread in her chest.
Never had she believed to want out of Lucas' arms, but right now she wanted to and if it was just to escape this conversation.
"I don't want to talk about it."

"Try. We can start slow. We could start with the vision or maybe you wanna tell me how you're feeling with all this. We can-"
She pushed him. Pushed hard against his chest, freeing herself from his embrace and causing his thighs to hit the table.

"Leave me alone. I don't want to talk about it and you don't get to tell me what to do!" she screamed overwhelmed by her feelings. She took a few steps away from him. "I understand the hurt that vision caused you and I'm not disregarding that or saying you don't get to hurt, you do, but it wasn't you who was in her body."

Luna wrapped her arms around herself, her body started to tremble thinking about the vision. Tears formed and the first fell down her cheek. The pictures came back to the front and she tried her best to push them back.

"I was in her body, I felt her pain and all those feeling, I heard her thoughts and wishes. Not you, you don't know how it felt and you don't get to force anything on me," her voice broke, shook as she spoke. "It happened once and what happened yesterday won't happen again. I can fight when it comes down to it and that's what's important, right? I'm fine. And unless you know what I feel and think and what's going on inside of me, you don't get to do this. I don't want to talk about it. Ever." She wasn't sure about the last thing, but she knew. "I just wanna forget it."

The tears fell over her cheeks, she couldn't hold them back and attempted to wipe them away with the sleeves of her shirt. A sob escaped her lips.
Lucas stepped closer to her and wrapped his arms around her. "It's okay." He let her rest her head on his chest again. "You don't have to talk about it now. You can when you're ready. I'll still be here. I'll always be here."

"Thank you," she whispered into his chest, letting him hold her for a while longer.
It felt safe again. But how much longer until he would ask again, push again.
It wasn't helping.
Nothing was helping.
Nothing was fine.

Lucas

Did he love Luna above everything? Yes.
Were the chocolate cakes she baked a close second? Well, that was also a yes. To his defence those cakes were delicious and tasted better than any he had ever tasted.

That same night Lucas sat at a table in Sweet Café with his laptop and a piece of chocolate cake, working for the ARIA. Jackson and the others knew about Luna's trauma now. They were worried, worried about her and worried whether she could fight. They had discussed it and the worries disappeared in that aspect.

Luna was right in that point. She could fight and she had met Sam and Tresha, her parents and Malcolm. The latter twice. She had fought them all and there had never been a problem. By the Goddess, she had even fought Kane.

All of that was before the incident. There was no telling how she would react now, and since Luna wasn't ready to talk, they couldn't make an assumption about it.
They couldn't push her to talk either. He had seen where it had led to earlier in his office. He had gone too far and only in that moment, in that moment, where she had given him the tiniest glimpse of what she felt, he saw how bad she was hurting.

He wasn't mad that she didn't tell him in all this time.
He could understand why. She didn't want to talk about it and they would've made her sooner or later. But the fact that she locked it all inside of her wasn't any better either. It had to come out, all of it. In some form, but how that looked like could only be decided when she told him all about it. He had to wait.

Jackson didn't mind him working from the café, so that he could keep an eye on Luna. She had protested, told him he didn't have to do that, but he wanted to make sure she felt safe in her working space after what happened. He wanted her to know that he wouldn't let anyone lay hands on her.

Lucas spend the past hours going over the photos and reports of the incidents. Obviously, there wasn't going to be any video footage of the destroyed landscape, but even the attack on the orphanage had none as they had been all destroyed. There were only the reports of the few surviving children and caretakers. And with few, he meant few. Of the fifty four children and two caretakers only six children and one caretaker survived.

In the reports, they're all talking about seeing a boy and a man they've never seen before. The photos of the orphanage and the landscape spoke of total destruction. Why did Malcolm leave no video footage? If he wanted the people to know, to create chaos and terror, why not ensure that there was footage that could go to the public? Everything he did was planned out, so what was Lucas missing?

"You want something?" Reyna stood next to his table with a coffee pot. She was working tonight too. Also, the double shift.
"I'm good." His eyes wandered to Luna. She was behind the counter, currently decorating some cupcakes. She's been running around baking, decorating, and serving customers at the cash register the whole time.

"How is she?" Reyna asked. She hadn't talked to Luna about it.
Luna, on the other hand, had returned to her normal self. Smiling and joyful, he liked to see that, but he knew it was a show too. He saw it in the way how her smile didn't entirely reach her eyes and how her joyfulness was not entirely carefree. How there were these small moments where she would be upset.

"She doesn't wanna talk about it and was defensive when I pushed too much. I'm gonna give her the time to come to us herself. You guys should too. I know we wanna protect her and let nothing happen to her, but Luna can fight. She doesn't need us to fight her battles. We're only there to help," he answered with his eyes still on Luna.

"I hate it," Reyna exclaimed.
"Me too."