Bed of Nails

Chapter 41

I just hate my life.

I cried my heart out until my eyes were dry like a desert. I let go of all the pain and anger I had been holding down. It was burdening me so much, making me crumble under it. It was hard for me to carry that weight. I have to let it go before I get buried under it. I have to take a deep breath and let go of my burden so I can take a fresh breath of air to fight my new battles. I sat there like that for a few hours, thinking about everything. I took a deep breath to calm myself. Eventually, tears stopped coming out of my eyes, and after crying, my heart became hard like a stone. I gathered my courage to fight the devil again. I need that energy. I can't feel weak now; it's too early for me to give up. I exhaled loudly and rubbed my face. My eyes moved all over my office. I have made quite a mess. I decided to clean up all the mess I had created before leaving the office. I slowly got up from my seat and gathered all my things. I gathered all the pencils and sketchbooks from the floor. I put them back on the desk. Once I was done clearing my desk, I decided to leave the office. I knew trials were still going on, but I had no energy left in me. I grabbed my bag and left my office once I locked it. 

"Are you leaving early?" Evelyn asked me when I walked to the hall to inform her. Aria was taking rounds of the catwalks from all the models. He was there walking with others, but his eyes moved on me as soon as I walked there. I didn't spare him a glance. "Yes, I'm not feeling well," I said with an apologetic smile on my face. Her eyes moved all over my face. I still have a few traces of tyres on my face. I should have washed my face. 

"Go take some rest; I will handle everything," she said understandingly, and then patted my back. I drove back to my place. I decided to have an early dinner and then go to bed early. I just wanted to sleep it away. I need to rest very badly. I was so tired, but as soon as I closed my eyes, today's incident kept repeating in my head. He pinned me against the door and kissed me hard. It made me open my tired eyes. It repeated itself even in front of my wide-open eyes. The way he cupped my face and kissed me when I slapped him How he kissed me today got repeated again and again, making me restless. He kissed me so hard and so possessively, as if I only belonged to him. He has no right to kiss me like that. I kept twisting and turning in my bed. It took me an hour to drift into a deep slumber. I just couldn't help, but my mind took me to the memory, which I have treasured somewhere deep in the bottom of my heart.

My slumber once again took me down to my memory lane. I once again found myself dreaming about those days, which I have buried deep in my heart.

Once again, I was left all alone today in this big house. I didn't want to be alone, but I had no choice. This silence was eating me up. It crawled on my skin, making me scrape it. I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed my raincoat. It was pouring down heavily. I wore it before stepping out of my house. My house butler tried to stop me, but I walked out even though he protested. I just can't be in this house anymore. The four walls of my room try to swallow me. It makes me so restless. I kept walking and walking in the rain until my steps halted in front of a familiar-looking old building. As if my legs had their minds, they started moving again. I don't know if I wanted to see him, but I found myself standing in front of his apartment. I often find myself standing here. I don't know what kind of relationship we have developed in the past few months, but he looks more reliable than my father. I bit my lower lips in distress, contemplating if I should or shouldn't knock on the door. For a second, I thought of turning around and going back, but I had nowhere else to go. What if he is not home? What if he asked me to go back? What if he is at home but with someone? My heart felt a spank at that thought. I bit my lower lip in distress but still decided to knock on the door. I'm not going back to my empty house. I hesitated before lifting my hand and knocking on the closed door. He opened the door after two knocks. His cold blue eyes were not surprising to find me standing in front of his door in this heavy downpour. His cold blue eyes moved all over my drenched frame. Only when I thought he was about to ask me to go back did he invite me in. 

"Come in," he said curtly in only two words, and he opened the door wide for me. He is not pleased to see me here. 

"Thank you," I mumbled. I removed my raincoat and gave it to him. Even though I was wearing a raincoat, my clothes have still become wet. 

"Go to the bathroom. I will get dry clothes for you," he said once again curtly before walking away. I should have not come here. He is not pleased to see me here. I walked to the bathroom silently and stripped out of my wet clothes. I changed into the T-shirt and shorts he gave me. My hair was still wet. He sighs, looking at me. Now it was confirmed he didn't want me here. Once again, he disappeared inside the room. Maybe I should leave now. I don't want to get more embarrassed. I turned around and started to walk to the door, but not before grabbing my raincoat. 

"Where are you going?" My body went stiff when he questioned me. I didn't dare to turn. 

"I know you don't want me here. I'm sorry to disturb you," I said, still not turning around. Tears were forming in my eyes, and I didn't want him to see me crying. He took hold of my wrist and pulled me to his chest before I could open the door. 

"Never think like that again," he said possessively in my ear, making me shiver. 

"You are the only woman who has stepped inside this house after my mother," he whispered, making my eyes go wide. My heart started to beat fast. He turned me around and pressed my front to his chest. A big lump formed in the base of my throat when he tucked my wet lock behind my ear. Slowly, his hand cupped my face, and his thumb wiped the tear that had slipped from my left eye. His face slowly moved forward. His nose touched mine, and our breaths got mixed. His soft lips touched mine. My mind went blank, and my heart started to beat fast. For the very first time, I was feeling someone's lips on mine. He lifted me up, making me wrap my legs around him. He started to walk us to the bedroom. I gasped loudly and jerked up from the deep slumber I was in. A shiver runs down my spine whenever I remember that day. I pulled my hair back with my hands. I was trying my best to run away from him.

But I knew I was fighting a losing battle.

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