Bed of Nails

Chapter 186

Erick's POV

“Your dad arrived, and even my last bit of hope shattered.” 

As soon as I said that, that day once again started to flash in front of my eyes. It has haunted me every day and night since that day. I had tried my best to wipe it from my memory, but I couldn't. It is embedded in my permanent memory, making it hard for me to forget. I was shaking from inside, but I couldn't let it show on my face. The fear of losing her forever was real. Tears kept falling from her eyes, making my heart bleed even more. I hate her tears, and I have been the reason behind them many times. I hated myself more every time I saw tears in her eyes. She pressed my hand firmly, asking me to continue. Even though it was hurting both of us, she still deserves to know the truth. The truth that she should have known as soon as she opened her eyes on that hospital bed. I took a deep breath and continued. 

“The hospital called your dad because he was your legal guardian, and as soon as he arrived, he started to shout at me,” I said in my heavy voice. 

“He grabbed my collar and started to trash me. He was so mad that he started to blame me for your condition. He even threw punches at me while I kept taking all the blows because deep down I had admitted that you were in the hospital only because of me. Your life would have been much better if you hadn't met me. I have rubbed my bad luck on you. I kept blaming myself, and he kept throwing punches at me until a few people in the hospital stopped him,” I said while looking up because I couldn't look into her eyes. 

“He said if something happens to you, he will kill me and ruin my life, but I was not scared of it. I was scared for you. I wanted you more than the air I breathe. You were my life, still are, and he was snatching it away from me. I took all his punches. I heard his every curse because I was scared he would throw me out of the hospital. I didn't want to leave you. The doctor appeared out of the emergency room with a look of distress on his face. Only then did he leave me and go to him. He asked the doctor how you were, and the doctor told him you were in a critical situation. You were bleeding, and your body was not capable of carrying a baby. He told us, and I was beyond devastated after hearing it. Then the doctor asked to talk with your father privately because you were eighteen and he was still your legal guardian. I also wanted to know what was wrong with you, but he didn't let me. I kept standing at the door. He stayed inside the doctor's office for a good fifteen to twenty minutes, and when he came out, his eyes were red, and he was holding papers. Abortion papers,” I said in my heavy voice, and she closed her eyes listening to it. More tears rolled down her face. 

“My hands were shaking when I read what was written on the papers. He asked me to sign it. I refused. Your words echoed in my ears. You told me to save the baby. Then how could I sign the paper? Then he asked if I wanted to see you alive. I have to sign those papers. He told me that if I didn't sign, both of you would die, and no choice was left in my hands. Once I signed the papers, he kicked me out of the hospital and threatened me to never meet you. I kept waiting and waiting outside. I asked about your well-being when your father stepped out, but he didn't say a word to me. He ignored me. I waited for two days outside, and once, I even tried to enter the hospital, but no one let me in. One night, I became successful in entering the hospital, but your father threatened me with a restraining order. I felt so helpless, but on the third day, Lilly had pity on me, and she said you were fine. I felt relieved, and I wanted to meet you so badly. You were discharged, and I kept waiting outside the hospital to get a glimpse of you, but I didn't get any. My life was fully messed up. I used to wait outside your house, wishing you would step out. I even asked Isabella and your friends for help, but your father was not letting anyone meet you," I said in my heavy voice. I couldn't help but tear up. She immediately wiped it with her trembling fingers and pulled my face to her. She connected our foreheads. We both were crying. I was so desperate to see her. The countless hours I spent outside the hospital and her house, not caring about sleep, food, or thirst. I kept waiting to see her only once. I can't even tell her the restlessness I felt at that time. 

“I was going crazy without seeing you. I wanted to know how you were doing. I wanted to hold you. I wanted to cry with you for losing our baby. I wanted to ask you for your forgiveness because I couldn't save our baby. I wanted to say many things. I wanted to do so many things, but I was able to do none,” I said while slightly pulling away to look into her tear-filled eyes. 

“One day your father invited me inside when I was waiting outside. At first, I didn't believe him, but the excitement and restlessness I was feeling made me step inside. I was so eager to see you. I saw you standing in front of a shiny car, and you seemed happy. I stood there waiting for you to look at me because your father didn't allow me to talk to you,” I said while taking a deep breath. 

“He said you have forgotten me. He said you have moved on, and you never want to see my face, and that's why you haven't contacted me till now. He said my worth was nothing in front of your new car. He said I'm worth nothing, and you have finally understood your mistake. He asked me to never show my face again to you. He said I was ruining your future if I still tried to contact you. He asked me to get out of your life so you could have a better future. He said if I show up again, it will hurt me. It will keep you reminded of how I aborted our baby if I tried to come back into your life. I kept standing there, devastatingly, listing everything,” I said, and more tears kept falling from my eyes. I know her father is a liar. She needed me more than anything at that time, but I couldn't be there. She embraced me in a tight hug while sobbing. For the first time, I was open about the past because I couldn't keep it inside me anymore. I want to tell her everything. Every bit of emotion I felt when she was away from me. 

I want to tell her how I died every day without her. 

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A/N
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