vnf | time capsule

the departure

2018, september.

it's no longer a joke, or rumor, or gossip that your teammates quietly spread around the campus like a disease. the coach publicly confirmed it with you this evening, during dinner. you all are leaving, actually leaving, and for quite some time.

you contemplate the name of the new club for a while. not much comes to mind, though. its history is a completely blank page. and you are going to be one of the very first people to have their names written on that page. what is that supposed to mean? you don't know, and don't bother too much to think about it. people make history all the time.

to be honest, you don't worry too much. even you are a little surprised at your own unconcern. while your teammates are busy chattering, you start planning what to bring with you on the long journey. the usual stuff, that's for sure. boots, socks, gloves, jerseys. the weather in the central region is a bit extreme, so some medicines for relief. video games for entertainment. maybe that's all? you can always make a list. it's not like you're leaving for an island or a forest or any other godforsaken place.

beside you, your teammates keep voicing their concerns.

come on guys, you thought but not saying out loud, it's just another trip.

or is it?

you have been frequently away from home since you were ten. even now you still remember the first night you slept in the youth football center. you cried so hard your body seemed like it was hollowed out. your classmates teased you cruelly for that. they kept teasing even when you'd learned how to bury your tears deep inside your heart, even when you yourself had forgotten how to cry.

then the years piled up, filled with tears and homesickness and laughter and joy and disappointment. people around kept saying that you were mature for your age, that someday you could wear the captain's armband. in all fairness, it was hard not to. you'd been through hell and heaven so many times that you'd lost count. you hardened. you knew ways to make people fear you, and love you, and believe in you. you found the people who were, and are still, willing to stand by your side no matter the circumstances. you found a girl you love, and you married her.

what's to worry about?

you've been through hell and back.

and you laugh to yourself.

it's just another trip.

what's the worst that can happen?

whenever my head gets all confused, i figure using english might offer me a clearer, less jumbled perspective.

please don't view this story as a denial, vindication, or explanation. as always, i write stories from the bottom of my heart without any agendas. i don't want to directly address the case that has been widely discussed in the vietnam football community for the past two days, but this story was written as a way to express my thoughts on it. after all, what's done is done. nobody can do anything to change that.