Mine Forever || MinSung

65. My Best Love

It was numb. Everything felt numb to him. Every sound was like a far away echo that rang in his ear.

Minho was there, but he was not. Everything was so cloudy and blurry.

You know how sometimes you feel like this is not your life? This is not you? Like... It's a movie you are watching? An illusion? Minho was feeling that.

Sitting in the back seat of his car, staring at the night sky, all he could think of was how and when this movie will end.

He had his gun in his hand, he had dried blood on his face, and he hed his dead self inside.

It was not Minho. No. It was not him who indirectly called his own mother a slut in front of everyone. It was not him who showed a finger and shouted on his dad. It was not him who killed that man without even blinking. It was not him... It can never be him who just slapped his little brother. It can never be him.

It was like... He still was there, at that house, where Jisung was in front of his eyes, had his eyes open, looking at him like he wanted him to hid him away. Where was not even able to touch him. Where he was not able to wipe his tears away. Where Jisung for the first time told him that he was scared, and all he did was cry.

He was still there. Seeing that room decorated with golden twinkle lights. Their house. Their home. They had their love there. Those walls had the warmth of their hugs. That couch had felt their heart's comfort. That bed had heard those sleepy morning giggles. That kitchen have seen uncountable soft kisses. It was their home.

It was their world.

The world where Minho was stuck in.

All the time, all Minho could see was, darkness. He knelt on that floor, Jisung in front of him, tied, his head hanging low, blood slowly dripping down into that pool at his knees. Where no one was there. Just two of them. No one was there to hold him back from crawling upto him, running upto him and hold him, and he still couldn't.

In that dark room, he still couldn't reach him. No matter how much he tried, he just got far and far away. Jisung never looks up at him. No matter how much he calls him, Jisung never blinks as him, he never smiles at him. He never says 'Minho, baby...'. Never.

Minho knew he was slowly becoming the worst version of what he hated all his life. He was slowly getting empty and hollow inside. It was getting all dark.

From all the beautiful and colourful flowers Jisung once grew, his soul was now nothing but a withered and torn apart dark garden.

From the smiles Jisung taught him to stretch, the giggles he triggered, his lips were now just dry and quiet, sealing in all the painful screams and cries.

From the sparkles Jisung once gave his eyes, they now just looked so hollow and empty.

From the love Jisung bloom in his vulnerable little heart, all what was left in his chest, was the heart he didn't even was alive or not anymore.

But Minho didn't wanted this.

He didn't wanted to become a monster. He didn't wanted to become a heartless, emotionless being. A dead person. He wanted to cry, he wanted to scream in his Dad's chest, he wanted to force his mother, beg her to hold him just this once, he wanted to sleep in Hyunjin's lap. He wanted to cry so bad.

But he just couldn't. It felt like a betrayal.

How can he cry those tears which left only for him to wipe off? How can he sob in anyone's chest other than his? How can he let anyone hold him other than his arms?

How can he betray his love?

But he really wanted someone to hug him. He knew he needed to cry, or it will kill him slowly. It was killing him slowly. He knew what he was becoming, and he didn't wanted to.