Just Be Patient (Urban Story)

Chapter 98: Time Is All It Takes

"Don't ever take my sunshine away" I sang softly to Jae. I had him over my shoulder as I cradles him close to my face. I rubbed his back laying my head on his as I walked back and forth soothing him. I had the best time with all my babies. They were indeed miracles from God. I was so blessed to be their mommy.
"Okay big boy mommy's gonna lay you down" I lowered him in his crib as his little eyes got heavy. I watched him sleep as I heard Jason downstairs doing God knows what.
"Good my angel. Mommy loves you" I said leaving him turning his lamp on. The girls were off to sleep and it was just me and Jason. I walked downstairs carefully as I saw candles and roses every where. I held my chest seeing what he had done for me. I had to pinch myself to make sure I was awake. Never in a million years did I expect this for me.
"You like it" Jason said walking up behind me.
"It's beautiful. You really didn't need to do this. Dinner would've been fine" I said as he turned on some soft music. I was speechless yet again. 
"Take a seat" he said helping me to my chair. I got comfortable as he kissed my cheek before he grabbed our food. Something about the song playing made me loose focus on him.
"Jason I love this song" I said shutting my eyes as Sam Smith Lay me down played. As I listened I felt like something important was linked to this song but I couldn't put my finger on it. It was like my brain was trying to tell me.
"This is out song. You walked down the aisle to this" he said as I opened my eyes.
"I knew it was special" I said smiling at him. I was kinda nervous because I haven't actually been a date. I was gonna let him take the lead and see how the night went. No pressure. No overthinking things. He was my husband so I got one thing right.
"Here you go" he laid down a plate of salmon mashed potatoes and salad. I could look at this plate and tell he didn't cook this hisself.
"Did you make this" I asked as he grinned at me.
"Nah. I can't cook to save my life" he said as I laughed.
"So let me guess. I do all the cooking pretty much" I said as he nodded.
"Yep. I don't eat if you cook" he said as I felt so wanted. I was the one who held things together in the house. We ate as I kept my eye on him.
"So Jason. What do you know about me" I asked taking a sip of ice tea. He sat back in his chair as I never moved my eyes from him. I wanted to know how deep our connection really was.
"Shit. What don't I know. I know your real hair color. Your birthday your home state. Your favorite color. Your favorite position to sleep. Your favorite movie. What makes you happy. What makes you sad. What your fears are. How many times a day you think about eating. Your past relationships and your family in New York" he said amazing me.
"What do you know about my family" I asked as he put his fork down.
"I know your parents mistreated you. I know they didn't let you know how special you was. I know how they talked down to you and I know what your father did to you gave you nightmares" he said as my head spinned. I must really trusted him. I never let anyone in that way. Especially with my family.
"When we started dating you would call me crying at night just to come and hold you. You were scared and I was the only person who could make you feel better. Soon as you got in my arms nothing scared you anymore. You said I was your protector." He said so serious.
"You sure you not making all this up just cause I can't remember" I said smiling at him. He was such a good man.
"I can't make this up. I swear" he said as I nodded my head.
"Okay Jason. I wanna know how we met lover boy" I said as he chuckled
"We met in the grocery store. I was in my phone and you moved my shit out the way. I ain't see you until I turned my back seeing you in that denim dress. You looked so good. You ain't try and give me no play but I played it cool until I saw you months later. We talked a little bit I gave you my card and it was history from there." I was smiling the whole time. Meeting my husband in the grocery was so typical of me. I lived in the grocery store so it sounded right.
"Aww that's cute" I said as he finished his plate. I was having such a nice time.
"Did you ever take me out on dates" I said wanting to know.
"All the time. Matter fact the same place I took you on our first date was the same place I asked you to marry me at. I love going out with you. You my partner in crime" he was so easy to talk to.
"I bet we get into a lot of trouble" I said winking at him as he licked his lips. Man that was doing it for me.
"Plenty. We got 3 kids to show for it" he said making me laugh.
"What's your favorite quality about me?" I said as he rubbed his chin.
"That's easy. Your heart. Your so caring and you take care of me without complaining. When I got in my car accident you stayed by my side the whole time. You was my solider" he said as I got concerned.
"You was in a car accident?" I said shocked.
"Yeah. It was crazy. I was unconscious for like 2 days. I had bruises everywhere" he said as I looked him over.
"You look good to me now" I said as he blushed. I was slowly getting to know more about him. It was like reconnecting with someone I already knew.
"Do I?" He said licking his lips yet again. Those lips. Mmmm mmmmm mmmm!
"Yes Jason. Your extremely attractive. I can see why I said said yes. You my type" I said laughing as he grinned.
"I'm glad you feel that way. You my type too. Sexy" he said as I got warm. I kept moving in my seat. This was deep. We locked eyes as I didn't look away. I couldn't even if I tired.
"So ummm..." I said trying to make up anything to say. I had a handful of questions but once I looked in his eyes I forgot them all.
"Come here" he said moving his chair back. I stood up walking to him.
"You want me sit on your lap" I said wanting to be sure. Lamar would never let me sit on his lap. He always said I was too big and I would hurt his leg. So I never even tired.
"Yeah. This my favorite spot for you to sit" he said as I slowly eased my body on top of him. Soon as I fully sat on him I felt his rock hard erection. I jumped up not wanting to make either of us uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry." I said covering my face embarrassed
"Why you saying sorry. It's aight. Just relax for me" he said pulling me back down. He sat me directly on his erection as I shut my eyes. I could feel he was blessed in that department. Now I knew why I got pregnant so often.
"You aight sexy." He whispered to me as he took my hips pushing me more into him. I tired so hard not moan.
"Umm ye..yes I'm okay" I said loosing my breath. I was on fire. He leaned my back into him as he started kissing my neck slowly. I but my lip feeling so good. Foreplay never felt so good. So natural so passionate.
"Jason" I breathed out as he felt up my shirt. He was not playing no games.
"Yes beautiful" he said licking my neck. He slid his hands under my bra as he gently caressed my breast. I was getting so lost in the moment I couldn't even think.
"No stop." I pushed him back softly as he sighed.
"You know what I'm sorry. I'm moving to fast for you. I can't help myself but that's no excuse" he said taking his hands off me. I could only imagine how difficult this was for him. He was probably use to having me at a blink of an eye but it was different now. I needed time.
"Jason it's not your fault. I want you don't get me wrong but I need time for us to actually be intimate. I'm so sorry" I said getting up. I ran upstairs locking myself in the bathroom. I was so frustrated. Here I was with a beautiful house, kids of my own who I couldn't love enough and the man of my dreams. This what I prayed for. I waited my whole life for this and I was pushing it away. Jason didn't deserve this. I was the one who had to deal with this not him. I know he was tired of dealing with me and my situation and I didn't want to bring this stress on to him. All my life I was a burden so I didn't wanna be that to such a good man. I didn't know if my memory was ever coming back and I didn't wanna keep him guessing. I wiped my eyes and opened the door. I walked out as Jason sat on the bed.
"I'm just gonna go to my best friends house" I said grabbing a bag ready to go.
"Beautiful don't leave please" he said as I grabbed some clothes.
"Stop calling me that!" I said loud overwhelmed. I was trying to adjust but I just felt like this wall blocking me from him. I couldn't keep up.
"Hue" he whispered in my ear as I cried in his chest. He held me as I let my cries out.
"Jason I can't do this. I don't even know who my children apart. I'm pathetic Jason. I don't know who you are anymore and I don't know who I even am. Why did this happen to me" I said so defeated. My life was always crazy. I wanted peace.
"Baby listen to me." He said in my ear. "I know your tired. I know but just give it a couple more days. Your so strong and it's nothing you can't do. It's going get better I promise you beautiful." He spoke to me in a way I have never been spoken too. It was so calm and so loving. I couldn't help but have a weak spot for him.
"How are you so sure Jason" I asked looking up at him.
"Cause I know you. You never give up." He told me making me feel a little better. "Let's get you bed though. I think you had enough for today" he said trying to help me in bed. I froze in the same spot.
"You not tired. We can watch a movie" he said as I shook my head.
"Jason don't get mad but I wanna be by myself. I saw the guest room down the hall so I think I'll just sleep in there" I said as he look at me like I was crazy.
"Ohh. Ummm okay" he said choking on his words.
"I hope I didn't hurt your feelings. It's not personal Jason. I promise. I just need space" I said to him.
"Oh nah it's cool. It's just that we never slept apart while we're both in the house. Matter fact we only slept apart like 3 times our whole marriage." I just looked down feeling bad.
"I'm sorry" I said as he walked away.
"As long as you comfortable it's okay" he said playing it off. I grabbed some clothes as I walked out shutting the door leaving him. I made it to the guest room as I got settled. It was pretty cozy in here so I wouldn't have any issues falling asleep. I just needed to think alone. I laid down turning the lights off as I covered my body. I said a prayer before I shut my eyes.....