Just Be Patient (Urban Story)

Chapter 108: If It Aint You....

I woke up wrapped in the warm sheets with this bittersweet feeling in my stomach. I felt around looking for Jason but he wasn't next to me. We blessed our new room and we fell asleep in each other's arms but he must've woke up before me. My head was going in 2 different directions. I loved the new house and I was thankful that Jason did all this for me but I still felt awful that I hid this huge secret from Jason. I always said I wanted us to have this open and honest relationship but here I was again messing it up. I just couldn't shake the feeling. I stepped down off the bed finding his shirt tossed on the floor as I picked it up throwing it on my naked body.
"Daddy miss yall too." I heard from down the hall. I stood in the corner observing him on the phone.
"Oh yeah" he said showing his dimples smiling hard. "Let's talk to mommy bout that when we get home princess." I could hear my babies through the phone trying to bribe Jason for something as usual. "What you mean you gotta go play? I see how yall doin me. Aight. Daddy love yall okay. Gimme my kiss" he said as I heard them say muah over and over as he blushed. Those little girls had a strong hold over this man. If he had a bad day soon as he laid eyes on them 2 he was all smiles right then and there and don't get me started on his son. Jae was Jason in the making. He never left home without that little boy. He took him everywhere even against my will but hey he loved his kids. I wasn't going to disrupt that.
"Ma make sure they go to bed on time and leave Haley night lamp on. She don't like sleeping in the dark without me and don't forget to wind Jae's mobile up. Hue have a fit when I forget" he said as I laughed. Jason was an amazing father and I couldn't have chosen a better man to raise 3 kids by. He ended his call as I couldn't take my eyes off him.
"You aight" he said knocking me out my daze noticing my presence.
"Yeah. I was kinda watching you in the corner" I said as he smiled.
"So you stalking me now" he said coming closer to me.
"Just a little" we locked eyes as it got quiet. The more I looked in his eyes the worst I felt. I took the ability to have another child from him and honestly I was starting to regret the whole thing.
"Why you look like you bout to cry" he said stroking my cheek.
"I'm not" I said holding back my tears the best I could. My heart was so heavy.
"Beautiful" he said as tears started to slowly stream down my cheek. Just the fact that I hurt him out of all people broke my heart to pieces.
"Baby I'm so sorry. I'm sorry" I said softly
"I told you it's all good. I forgave you and we good" he said wiping my tears.
"No Jason I was wrong. Your my best friend baby and I feel like I let you down. Your all I have and I don't treat you like you should be treated sometimes. I should've just told you. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry" I cried in his chest as poured what was heavy on my heart. It was all good that he forgave me but I didn't want him to think to himself how much of disappointment I was or worse.
"Baby come on" he said holding me as I cried hysterically. I know Jason hated seeing me cry but I couldn't help myself.
"I take you thru so much and J what if this is your breaking point with me. From my situation with my parents to the miscarriages to putting work before you to the men in my past who pop up and now this. I'm so scared your gonna leave me one day. Please don't leave me baby. I can't do anything without you J" I was spilling out everything that played in my mind. Seeing how upset he was when I told him in the car was a reaction I would never forget. And I caused it. Me. "J I would take the whole thing back if I could. I don't care if it conflicts with my health I would rather die giving you another child than to do what I did. Baby I swear" I was so sincere and my heart had the floor. He looked down listening to me as I went on this emotional roller coaster. I knew Jason better than he knew himself but the only thing I didn't know was when he had enough. I could only hope. I felt like I was always failing him and this just pushed it over the edge.
"Hue stop!" He said sternly. Everything was getting so intense. "Why would I leave you?! You!" He said making me look at him thru my tears.
"Of course I was pissed at what you did but nothing can make me say I'm not with you. Your my fucking life! Where would I go if it ain't home to you and my kids. I don't want nobody but you. Get that thru your head. I'm never leaving you. I'm never leaving!" Jason was so passionate about anything he loved dearly. I felt his words deep. I couldn't do nothing but cry.
"Tell me you promise. Say it Jason" I begged clinging onto his chest.
"Hue Lyn Thomas I'm never leaving you. I wanna be with you forever and nothing goin change that. I love you more than I love myself and how can I let what we got go. It's impossible" his words meant so much to me. I trusted no other man but him. I still got on my knees morning noon and night to thank God for sending me such an amazing man to love and love me back. I thought my life was gonna be cold and lonely like I was accustom to but Jason came and made everything better. Beyond better. Magical was the only word I could think of.
"I love you so much" I voiced as he rocked me slowly in his arms.
"I love you so much more" he said in my ear. I felt like I was melting.
"You all I need baby." I said taking in our moment.
"I know beautiful I know" we held each other in the hallway caught up in our feelings. Now my mind heart and conscious was completely clear.
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"Okay I got everything you asked for beautiful" Jason said carrying 6 bags from the grocery store. We took a shower after our talk and I wanted us to have a intimate dinner tonight.
"I'll be the judge of that" I said laughing helping him inside.
"Imma go watch TV. Call me when you done" he kissed my cheek as I grabbed his hand bringing him back to me.
"Baby I want us to cook together tonight. Let's spend some extra time together" I kissed his chest softly as he chuckled "what you think about that handsome" I asked seeing his face. He loved being waited on hand and foot but we came here to spend time together and I wanted to do just that.
"I'm wit it. Long as you help me out." He said making me laugh. You would think he would've learned something about the kitchen or cooking from being with me for a good amount of time but nope. Jason had the same knowledge of cooking from when I first met him. Which was my fault. I spoiled this man rotten.
"You know I will. But help goin cost extra you know that right" I said wrapping my arms around him.
"Oh I got the best method of payment right here." He said kissing my neck as I blushed.
"Mmmhmmm .....after dinner how about I collect my payment in the bedroom" I said putting my hands up his shirt.
"Hell yeah. You know I'm ready" he said making me laugh.
"Jason you always ready baby. Always" I kissed his lips as he kissed me back deepening the kiss. I shut my eyes in bliss almost forgetting about dinner.
"Mmmm baby lets start okay. Cause if we don't stop now we never goin get to the food" I said as he pecked my lips again.
"You right. Cause the way you lookin in them shorts sexy mannnn" I backed away cracking up as he smacked my ass hard.
"Hey hands off the chef" I said unpacking the bags.
"You my chef and that's my ass" he said washing his hands smiling.
"Oh is that right. Well I want you to address me as chef in the kitchen tonight. Yes chef and no chef" I said giggling as he laughed laying the food out on the counter.
"Oh so I'm your assistant huh. I see" we laughed as I got a pot of boiling water started. I threw in some salt and mini potatoes and placed the lid over it.
"What you want me to do with these" Jason said with the brunch of asparagus on his hand. He loved asparagus.
"Cut them in half and put them on a flat pan for me babe. I'll season them" I said preheating the oven.
"I can do it. Just tell me what I need" he said as I grabbed all the seasonings and olive oil. I stood behind him as he got ready to take my instructions.
"Sprinkle some salt and these herbs on first baby" he grabbed a whole hand full as I laughed.
"That's too much. Here" I took his hand guiding him as we both did it. I helped him drizzle the oil over the asparagus.
"Now rub everything together J. Use your hands" I made this meal super simple so we can do it as a couple.
"Yes chef" he said making me laugh. He put the pan in the over as I cut up some mushrooms and onions to sautéed.
"Oh I know I can do these" he said taking the steaks out the butcher paper.
"Let me see" I said mixing in my sauté pan.
"I saw this on TV. First you gotta rub some shit on it good" I watched as he did it just as he was supposed too. "Heat the pan up for me beautiful" he said switching roles as I gasped.
"Uh oh. I better watch out" I said turning the pan on oiling it.
"That's not the way you answer me" he said spanking me with the spatula on my behind. I was dying laughing.
"Oh excuse me. Yes chef" I said correcting myself.
"I prefer chef sexy" he said as I rolled my eyes smiling.
"I'm sorry. Yes chef sexy" I said blowing his little head up. This was the last time I let him cook with me. We finished cooking as everything rested and cooled off. I decided to clean up as Jason set the table. He lit some candles and put the wine glasses on each side. He went to play some music on as I wiped the counters off. All of sudden I heard Trey Songz Cakes come thru the speaker. I couldn't help but laugh.
"J that's not romantic" I said as he grinned reaching out for my hand.
"Dance wit me for a min sexy" I just shook my head. Jason was something else. He grabbed my hips as he positioned me in front of him. He sang in my ear as I rubbed my body against him. We danced zoning out as he started kissing my neck. I moved my hips to the beat as I felt he grow harder and harder. This felt so good. When Jason and I spent time with no kids or work. We took full advantage of every minute.
"Ain't you pose to eat it too" he said as I faced him. I held his face as he bit my lip.
"That's what you goin do tonight" I said raising my eyebrow at him.
"Oh Imma eat everything" he said as I rubbed up and down his chest. The oven timer went off as I slowly pulled away.
"Come eat this first. Then you can have all the dessert you want" I left him standing there biting his lip as I went to make our plates. I was a lucky woman.
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"Ahhhh baby ok ok. I give up! I give up J" I said trying to catch my breath working up a sweat. Jason and I had a amazing dinner and everything came out perfect.
"Say I won" he said on top of me as I wiped his face that was glistening with sweat. After dinner we ran upstairs wasting no time getting to the room.
"You won. You won!" I said as he caught his breath. We had alittle bet on who can hold out the longest during sex. I lost 3 times and Jason was on his fourth victory. I foolishly thought I had this in the bag.
"You who" he said as I felt him ready for more. His erection came back full force grazing my sensitive center.
"Mmmmm omg don't! You won daddy. Daddy won" I said worn out. He worked my ass hard.
"That's right" he flipped onto his back as I laid their stuck. My hair was all over the pillow and my arms were frozen over my head.
"Whewwwww damn that was good" he said cooling down with his hands in his chest. We were both feeling it.
"Baby you hurt my back" I said trying to move. "Don't ever put me that position again" I said as we both laughed.
"You liked it while I was doing it. My bad beautiful" he said scootering over kissing my shoulder. He wasn't the least bit sorry cause knowing him he would have me right back in the same situation. I finally got the strength to get up as I slowly got out the bed to go to the bathroom. My body was weak.
"Damn I ain't know I put it down like that" he said watching me damn near crawl to the bathroom. My legs were on fire.
"Shut up Jason" I said smiling at him. I made it to the restroom as I quickly came back to join him. It was like I wanted to rush just to see him again. We had terrible attachment issues.
"I missed you while I was in the bathroom baby" I got back in bed facing him. He was laying on his back as I laid on my side trailing my nails on up and down his hard tattooed chest.
"I missed you soon as you left the bed" he said making me blush.
"Awwww really baby" I said to him
"Yeah. Soon as that fat ass left my body I got cold" I hit him with my pillow as he thought he was so funny.
"I was being sweet and honest Jason and you just being nasty and horny" I said trying not to laugh at him.
"Aight aight. You know I miss you even when you not even gone beautiful" he said kissing on my fingers.
"How do I know your serious" I said joking. I knew that was the truth
"I'm being serious. You know I'm your baby and when you not around Idk what to do wit myself" he said making me beam.
"That's so sweet J" I said moving as close as I could to him.
"J you know I'm so proud of you for helping cook dinner. I couldn't do it without you. I really enjoyed it" I adore our time.
"It was cool cooking together. I like that" he said interlocking our hands.
"So let's make a deal. Once a month outside of date night we pick a day to cook dinner together. We can put the kids to sleep and it just be me and you" I wanted this to be something we could do as a routine. It was so much fun. 
"I want anything that gotta deal with just you and me. Cooking" he said pulling me down to his face. "Talking" he said on my lips. "Kissing" he said connecting our lips.
"Mmmmm especially kissing" I said finding his tongue. I used my tongue to play with his as he grunted out.
"You better stop for I react" he said finding his way to my thigh. His hands were gripping my thigh hard.
"Point taken" I said giving him his tongue back. I caressed his chest as we kissed softly.
"I love this house baby. The girls are gonna go crazy in here" I said as he nodded.
"I know. You see the lil pool I got back there for them. They goin wear that damn thing out" he said as I knew that was a fact.
"I sure did baby and I know. I can't wait for Jae to start walking so he can have fun with them" Jae wasn't at that point as yet but I was so anxious for him to keep up with Harley and Haley. I wanted them to have fun together so they can remember how close they were as a child.
"Yeah he goin shut shit down when that happen. He goin take after his daddy" Jason said as I chuckled
"And do what exactly?" I said back
"Break hearts. You know how many women wanna be where you at" he said as I blew my breath. Jason's ego was too big.
"Oh whatever Jason. Idk where you get them lies from" I said as he laughed
"Man what. When I go out wit Tone you should see how many females try and holla. It be ridiculous" he said as I just shook my head.
"Is that right Mr. Thomas. Well I tell you one thing they can look all they want but don't get nobody beat up okay" I said as he pulled me on top of him.
"Ohhhh is that jealousy I sense" he said kissing my neck making me smile.
"No I'm not jealous cause that would mean they had a chance. I'm just being honest. All this belongs to me. I own it" I said confidently.
"Do you?"He said trying me
"Jason don't play wit me." I said as he felt all over my body.
"Mmmm look who gettin all worked up. I love it when you claim daddy" he said in my ear.
"You all mines" I said without question
"You mines too" he was so right.
"Mmmhmm. I'm yours baby. Only you. I love you so so so sooooo much handsome. Thank you for all that you do for me and our family. I'm so grateful to have a husband and friend like you" I said sincerely
"I appreciate that. I love you and you ain't half bad yourself" he said as I giggled.
"See their go your massage and happy ending" I said laying on his chest yawning
"Did I say half bad. Baby you know you amazing" he said buttering me up.
"Shhhh and hit the lights" I said going under the covers as he laid there. He reached and hit the lamp as I kissed down his body.
"Relax" I said as we went on to enjoy the rest of our weekend. I was so glad I got so much off my chest and that we used this time to reconnect. It was no better person for me like my best friend my husband my love my heart my everything better known as my Jason. Don't get no but than that.