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The next morning
I woke up at 12, later than usual. I checked my phone to see a morning text from Justice. 'Good morning baby, I know you're asleep, but I just wanted to tell you I love you before school. Hopefully I'll see you later <3' I smiled and texted him back. 'I love you too <3' I debated if I wanted to go down stairs or not, I was kinda hungry, so I decided to get up. I walked down stairs and into the kitchen slowly, and mom was already cooking.
"I'm making you pancakes" she looked up at me, and I nodded in response. When she put the last pancake on a plate she grabbed my medicine and a new needle. She did what the doctor said then threw away the needle, and pushed the plate towards me. "Thank you" I looked down at the four pancakes she made me, knowing again I wouldn't be able to finish it. "You're welcome" I didn't look back up, I just began to eat. I was still upset with her from yesterday, she did all of that and acted like nothing ever happened.
She walked away, and I ate only two pancakes and threw away the rest. I moved things over it so mom wouldn't know I didn't eat them. I put my plate in the sink and walked past her through the living room, trying to go upstairs. "Did you finish you're breakfast?" I nodded, not telling the truth. "When is Justice bringing the wheelchair?" She asked, "today after school" I walked to my room, before the conversation could continue. I closed my bedroom door and opened my closet and grabbed new clothes, and went into my bathroom to take a shower. I turned on the water, and walked to the mirror. I just stared at myself, the bruise on my arm, the dark circles under my eyes. I took off my shirt, and looked at my ribs, and my hip bones. I never imagined I would look like this, or for this to ever happen. Next I got fully undressed and stepped into the shower. I washed then conditioned my hair, washing my body and shaving before I stepped out. I wrapped a towel around me, then dresses into my new clean clothes. I brushed my teeth and brushed my hair before putting it in a towel and sat back down on my bed. It was three more hours before Justice got out of school, and I didn't know what to do until he came over. I looked to my side at my side table and opened the drawer and searched inside. I was searching for my old sketch book that I haven't touched in months but I found something different, my diary. I opened to the very last page I wrote in, that was filled completely with fast sloppy writing. I read the first line, 'dad left today' I sighed and opened the next page, and grabbed my pen from the drawer.
'I haven't written in this diary in a very long time, and a lot has been happening since then. I don't know if I should write everything that's happened the last few months, but what if in the future, I find this and I don't have anything written about the most, crazy months of my life at the time? So I guess I will, but it's probably going to take a few pages. Anyways, it started with a boy, named Justice. I don't think I've ever written about him before in here, but I used to despise him. He use to be just a rude basic guy in the football team, but long story short, we started dating. It's been a few months since we started dating, and ever since that everything's gone crazy. I don't blame it on Justice, obviously, but I think why he came into my life is so he could be here for me and my dark times that I've been and still are going through. He's helped me, a lot. He's been here for me, always by my side. Stuff happened and I ended up in a hospital, everything that started is a blur now, but it's common for memory loss. At the hospital I was diagnosed with lung cancer, everyday I think about that moment, it seems to always replay in my head. I'm on chemotherapy now, and I'm going back to school. It's doctors orders that I have to stay in a wheelchair at school. Yesterday was actually my first day back. I ended up in the hospital again, and got home last night. I've lost a lot of weight, my ribs and hip bones showing. I used to be so confident with my body, but now I avoid even looking in the mirror. I try and wear baggy clothes, so nobody else can see how bad it's getting. I don't want anyone to worry more then they already do. I'll try and write in here tomorrow if I can or remember, so for now. Goodbye'
I put my diary up and clenched my hand since it grew so tired. I looked at my phone after it beeped, from a text from Justice.
-how are you feeling today? Well enough for me to still come over after school?'
'Yeah babe I'm fine :)' I sighed in aggravation as my head started to hurt once again. I got up and slowly walked out of my room and to the stairs. I carefully walked down, but I started to grow dizzy. I saw Joseph just start to walk up the stairs, and called for me when he noticed me. "Emily" he said as my body slowly leaned forward, and my grip of the rail loosened.
Joseph was close enough to grab me from falling, and he sat me on the stairs. "What do you need? You have to be careful walking on your own" "I was just going to get headache medicine" he sighed and got up. "Stay there" he jogged down the stairs and I waited for him to come back. When he did a minute later I took the pill bottle away from him and he helped me up, and walked me back to my room. "You need to call for one of us when you walk long okay? Especially down the stairs" I nodded, not wanting to fight back right now as he sat be back down on my bed. He left my room and I opened the water bottle and drank down two of the pills and laid down, grabbing my phone to see Justices new text.
'-I love and miss you❤️'
'I miss and love you too❤️'
I closed my eyes after locking my phone and got under my covers. I was once again cold, it was time for another time where the cancer just kicks in the side effects all at once, as hard as it could. I hated getting moments where I am freezing, coughing, dizzy, and sleepy, all at the same time. I left myself fall asleep, hoping I would wake up before Justice got here.
Sorry I couldn't update. I had people over and I didn't want to get caught
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