Two weeks later
"You're doing very well with the chemotherapy, it's helped shrink the cancer cells which is very good. The only thing we need to do now is get you off chemo then preform the surgery, then put you back on it" I nodded at the doctor and I sat on the hospital bed. "Have you guys talked about surgery?" He asked, "no, but I wanna get over this as fast I can" I said, "I understand" he looked down in thought. "Does three weeks from now work?" I looked over to mom and she shrugged, "it's up to you" I looked back at the doctor and nodded. "That would be great" he nodded and looked down at his clipboard. "Okay well I'll have the nurse come in and give you all the details and answer any of your questions" I glanced at Justice and he nodded slightly. "Thank you" I said and he walked out the door. "I'm glad we're getting the surgery done soon" my mother spoke, "me too" I said back and looked at Justice again. I patted beside me and he got up and moved next to me, and put his arm over my shoulder. He held my hand with his other arm and kissed my temple, "I love you" he said just above a whisper, "I love you too" I smiled up at him and rested my head on his chest. The nurse came in a few minutes later and she greeted me and everyone else. "How are you feeling today?" She asked me, "I'm feeling a lot better the past few days" I said and she smiled gladly. "Have you been having any headaches? Dizziness or out of breath?" I nodded "I do whenever I walk a long distance but I just figured it was normal". "That's great that you're walking but I'm gonna tell you to not do it so often. If you need to go down or up the stairs or anything have someone close by. It's gonna be horrible if you fall or pass out. You will pass out if you go too far" I nodded lightly. "What have you been doing for showers? Do you do them without any help?" "I do but I try and hurry up. If I start getting dizzy or anything I just sit down for a minute or finish early" I said.
"If you have a headache or get out of breath before or during a shower I recommend you asking someone for help. I know it sounds ridiculous but it might be needed, especially if you get tired. Can anyone help you with that who you're comfortable?" I looked at my mother, "I would be the only person to help her" she glared at me and Justice but I looked away and turned my attention to the nurse. "How well have you been eating?" She asked, "okay I guess, I'm never really hungry anymore" I said the truth, "how much weight have you lost?" She could tell I got smaller, "thirty five pounds" I said ashamed, I liked myself the way I was, the way I used to be.
"Well you're very under weight now so I'm gonna prescribe you some weight gaining pills. What their gonna do is increase your appetite and help you eat more". "Is her weight dangerous for her age and height?" My mom asked and the nurse nodded, "yes, and if it gets worse we're gonna have to bring her in and feed her through a tube to help her gain some weight" a tube? I don't want that to happen.
"And for the surgery I want to have you come in the day before so we can get you ready, we might have to feed you before cause it's not very safe for someone so small to be put asleep" Justice squeezed my hand and rubbed my arm with his hand. "Do you guys have any questions?" My mother looked at me and I shook my head. "All right you're free to go, I'll send your prescription and you'll have to go pick it up. Have a nice day and remember to come in twenty four hours before surgery, I'll have the doctor email you the date and time" everyone got up, and walked to the door. "You guys go ahead" I said so I could get alone with her, to ask her the question. My mom and Joseph looked confused at me but left anyways and closed the door. "I have something to ask you" she nodded for me to continue.
"It's awkward so I'm sorry, but I wanted to ask you about um-" I stuttered. "Sexual intercourse?" She asked and I nodded. "I'm not planning on doing anything soon but I just wanted to know if it was possible or safe with lung cancer" I was so embarrassed, and she could see that. "Don't be embarrassed I'm glad you came and asked me. And it is possible but if it's your first time I would wait till its gone. I nodded, "okay, um thank you" I pushed my hair behind my ear, "if you have any questions at all just ask me or call and ask to speak with me. It's better to ask first and I'm glad you did" I said goodbye and opened the door and met them outside the door. "You ready?" I nodded at my mom and we began to walk to the doors. Justice moved to my side and put his arm around me tightly since I was walking, I refused to not use my wheelchair today at the appointment.
We walked to the car that was close by and Justice opened the door for me then got in after me. He was over at my house before the appointment, so he just came in this car instead of his. I put on my seatbelt as Justice did the same and he grabbed my hand when he finished. Mom started the car and looked at me through the mirror, wondering why I asked to be alone with the nurse. I had to make up something in case she asked, but hopefully she wouldn't. "We're gonna drop you guys off then go to get the medicine" I was upset that I had to even take more pills. I already take all the vitamins and have to get my chemo shot everyday and now these. I put my head on his shoulder in thought, I didn't know what I wanted to do, I think I wanted to wait until it was gone before going anything with Justice. She said it wouldn't be the same, and since it's my first time I didn't want to worry about anything if we did do something.
I pulled my hand away and pushed my hair back and he laid his hand lightly gripping my upper thigh, by my knee. "What did she say?" He whispered in my ear so mom or Joseph couldn't hear. "We'll talk about it when we're alone and out of the car" I didn't want to be questioned and maybe them hearing. I closed my eyes, I was getting tired but I don't want to sleep, I wanna spend time with him. We soon got home and Justice and I got out of the car, "we'll be back soon" they drove off while Justice and I walked to the house and inside. We walked to the kitchen to find something to eat, but I couldn't. Nothing sounded good.
"What do you want baby?" I shrugged. "I don't know" I sighed, "I'll eat later, I'm not really hungry" he sighed but nodded. "I'm making you eat later, even if you say you're not hungry" I agreed and he wrapped his arms around me, my back against the kitchen cabinets. "I love you" he kissed my forehead and I wrapped my arms around his neck loosely. "I love you more"
