One Piece Oneshots

Paulie X Reader

GreenR: hello guyysss!!!

Law: *kicks her out of the room* GO STUDY FOR YOUR RUSSIAN TEST YOU DUM-DUM!!!! YOU'RE GONNA FAIL OTHERWISE!!

GreenR: *this part is blanked out due to the use of language we cannot tolerate in front of the readers*

Law: *coughs* so, nice to be back, sorry for not updating very often and whatever she always says. Have a nice read. And Paulie has a nice butt. WHAT!?

GreenR: *evil laugh* mwahahahah, I control they keyboard, remember? I can add whatever I want to here.

Law: I am seriously murdering you one day.

GreenR: aww, I love you too.

Law: but I can't decide if either with poison or knife.

GreenR: if you're going to go to kitchen, can you bring me some coffee?

*to reader-chan* Oh and have a nice read, I hope you'll like it.
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It was raining cats and dis outside (it's a funny saying actually. How can it rain cats and dogs? But then again, in Estonia we say 'rain like from a beanstalk', so maybe I'm not the best person to judge what's weird and what's not). The thunder roared and occasional lightning lit up the sky.

You were home that night, in the castle you had inherited from Queen Elizabeth (yes, I just gave you castle, you're welcome) and all you wanted was peaceful evening. Just to rest from your stressful life. By the way things were goinf it seemed like it would be a very long rest.

You leaned against the headboard of your large bed. Your hand was tangled in sheets as your glassy eyes were unfocusedly staring at the TV, which was playing some old, black and white romance movie. Deep purple blanket covered your body up to your waist, the upper body was wearing F/C silky nightgown. One strap had fallen off your shoulder, you noticed with a slight discomfort. That thing seemed to disturb you most of all.

Everything would have been quite right with this small picture, just a lonely woman watching TV before going to sleep, nothing abnormal. Something you would see in billions of places on this planet. Except one small detail. The big dark hole in your head and the faint scent of gunpowder lingering in the air. And a thief going through your things, noisily opening drawers and stuffing things he liked into his bag.

"Be careful, that was my grandmother's," you blurted angrily, putting hands on your hips. He didn't even look back and you snorted angrily. What a banana peel he was. No manners whatsoever.

"It hardly matters anymore," you heard a voice behind you. "I don't know if you noticed but you're pretty much dead." You turned your head a bit, noticing tall man with blond hair.

"Of course I know I'm dead," you said coldly, surprising him with it. "Please don't smoke inside the house, it leaves terrible stench to clothes," you noted about the cigar he was smoking and turned back to the robber. "He doesn't exactly care about killing me, does he?"

"Pretty cold one, that for sure," for a moment you both looked at the burglar for  a moment before you turned to him again.

"Excuse me, but who exactly are you? By your looks I would say accomplice," you marked about his clothing which was all in dark grays and blacks, and a pair of goggles resting on his head, like a robbers or burglars in those boring Hollywood movies your sister used to drag you to. "But you can see me so that isn't the case."

"Oh yeah, that one," you saw how he was still staring at your forehead, and painfully obviously not at your body. Must be that new sunscreen's fault. You had thought it would protect you from turning into a huge lobster, but even that hadn't helped. From a slight glance you noticed that your usually S/C skin was bit redder now. You must look hideous. "Well, you're dead, as you know. So, uh, I'm the Reaper. Surprise!" He added awkwardly at your shocked face.

"Nope," you turned around and walked away and tried to open the door, but your fingers just went through the handle. Cursing the whole world you just stepoed through the door and down the long hallway, which was still dimly lit by twinkling candles. You liked the medieval look it gave to your castle.

"Wait!" The so-called reaper hurried after you. "You can't just decide you don't wanna be dead and just walk away," he reached next to you and for your distaste you notice he was still smoking. Well, worse for him, cancer comes faster.

"Sweetheart, you must be new to this business," you turned on your heel so you faced him. "First," you waved your finger, "if I say that I know I'm dead, it means I'm perfectly aware of the fact. But in no world it means that I will be dealing some- some Reapers, thank you very much," by this time you had shocked him pretty deeply. And to be perfectly honest, scared him too. Must have been his first time dealing with someone like you.

"Sooo...you are okay with being dead?" You nodded lightly and crossed your arms, waiting for another obvious question. "Then I must ask you to come with me to the Spirit World." You didn't hear any question marks in that sentence so you just waited.

"Well?" You got impatient.

"Well what?"

"You said you must ask me. I'm waiting for the question part," he seemed to realise something and sighed with a grave face.

"You were a teacher, weren't ya? When you were alive." You clapped mockingly to show him he was correct. "Oh shit, why do I always get those?" He grumbled, "in that case, miss. Would you please be so kind and come with me to the Spirit World?" He even bowed a bit with that fear-mixed respect students used to have for their teachers back in the old days.

"No thanks," you yawned, "I was taught not to go with people I don't know," you picked on your nail, enjoying the sight of him gritting his teeth. You were really starting to enjoy bugging him like this, it was kind of fun.

"I'm Paulie, nice to meet you. Can we please go now? I have another aplointment coming up," you showed some mercy and nodded. "Thanks. But uh..." he seemed to want to ask something else.

"Please don't mumble, what is it?" His ears turned red in embarrasement and he mumbled something really fast. "What?"

"Please but some clothes on," you looked down at your body. Sure, you had skipped the gym more than once, but you still looked pretty good in the nightgown by your opinion. Even though your skin was little sunburned. Seems that you didn't look as good as you had thought.

"Why?" You asked stubbornly. He stared at the ceiling, still emabrrased.

"It's too short, okay? Please just put some clothes on and come," you just rolled your eyes and waited until he gave up and took a knife from his belt. It took a moment to draw tall rectangle on the wall and whem he was finshed, it started glowing.

"Come now," he held his hand out, already to jump tgrough the rectangle. You ignored it and jumped on your on, before going you said:

"That's what she said." And then you saw the light. And it was as if the fog had lifted.