One Piece Oneshots

Kaku X Reader

You took another blow from your cigarette and leaned back in your chair, letting your eyes travel over your minions in the dirty room. This was your fucking kingdom, and you fucking ruled it!

"Boss? What is it?'' Sammy asked nervously, handing you the ashtray.

"Whaddaya mean, punk?" Your voice was rough from smoking too much and it always sounded a little too sarcastic.

"You were smiling really creepily, boss," he mumbled, looking like he was gonna pass out any minute from fear, just from being in your presence.

"Well, punk, I was just thinking here, how good of a day it is. And how nothing has gone terribly wrong yet," you leaned out and grabbed your scotch from the desk.

"I can't agree with that, boss," Dean yelled from the back of the room and leaned bit forward so Cas could stitch his fresh bullet wound up.

"Well, anything too bad except for Deano being such a whiny little bitch," you grinned and laughter ringed back from the walls. Suddenly the huge wooden door flunged open and a lone figure walked in.

"Officer Kaku, what do I owe this pleasure?" You sat up little straighter, cursing you hadn't thrown on something nicer than just ripped up jeans and Tarja shirt. "Are you here for a poker game perhaps? Y'know, just about last week we had that-"

"Cut the crap, Y/N," he said dryly, tired of your endless rambling, "you know why I'm here,"

"Well, of course I do," you got up and walked down to him, shrugging, "but girl has to try, doesn't she? And you look like you would be an excellent player," you raised your hands so he could click the cuffs around them, and you started walking towards the exit while you still ordered your gang around.

"Boo-Boo, call my lawyer, looks like I'm gonna have a busy night,"

"I sure hope ya do," huge bald man wiggled his sparkly neon pink eyebrows and you made a gagging sound.

"Don't jinx it. Oh, and make me a dinner by the time I-"

"Okay, can you shut up," Kaku hit your lower back softly to get you moving faster. You ducked your head to get in the police car and readied yourself for a long night.

"I don't get it," you pursed your lips, "why do you bother arresting me, when you know I'm getting away anyways? I barely even have a criminal record!" You poked his back with your cuffed hands and he growled something in response.

"Or are you sooooo in love with me and desperate to see me," you joked and batted your eyelashed, but still got no response, "damn, for a guy who's such a cookie, you sure are a dry one,"

"Get moving," he parked in front of the station and you hopped out, prissily marching towards it, perfectly knkwing your way around.

"Oh hey Mick," you greeted thr administrator and leaned on his desk for a chit-chat, "how's Martha doin'?"

"We just had a baby last week," Mick beamed, getting out a small album, showing you a bundle of pictures about little pink hairless ape (no just kidding, it was a real baby), "it's a boy,"

"Woah, he really looks like you," you complimented, "have you decided on the name?"

"Not yet but- officer Kaku," Mick shot back to reality, "I promise, I wasn't talking to the criminal this time!"

"Okay, let's get movin'!" You jumped off the desk, "what are the accusations this week. And can you hurry, I think we were supposed to have paella tonight, and I wanna get there before Antonio ats it all,"

Kaku got out a long list of different crimes while you just boredly picked on your nails. You two had done it so often, you didn't even really bother to listen to him. The door flew open again and your lawyer walked in like a boss.

"Mikey," you chirped happily and grinned at him.

"Y/N really?" He sighed tiredly, "you really are making me work for what you're paying me, aren't you?"

"Oh it's not my fault!" You complained poutily, "I don't wanna be here at all! If you wanna talk about me being here too often, have a word with Mr Cookie there," you nodded at Kaku.

"Okay we're all gonna now how it ends so let's do it fast," Mikey walked off with Kaku and you got ready for a waiting time. You really weren't needed for that accusing-protecting stuff, actually the both men had said after your fifth arresting that you only distracted them.

"So Mick, what were you saying about that name?"

Timeskippie

"Oh really, Boo-Boo would be so proud if you named your sonny after him," you giggled, cigarette hanging from between your teeth. Mick grinned nervously.

"No I have to think about Martha too, if she's okay then I'm okay,"

"That's a nice opinion," you gave him thumbs up and looked at Mikey who had just stepped out, "hiya, can we go now? I'm soooo hungry," you whined.

''Sure, but why didn't you tell me this week was so busy for you, I almost had to actually work now," he threw you a pair of lockpicks he fished out from his pocket and you got to work on your cuffs.

"Can you please no do it in tge station?" Kaku asked, making you look up from your hands.

"Honey, you have absolutely no right to complain. You put these on and didn't give me the key,"  you rubbed your wrists after the cuffs fell off, "so there it is. By the way, wanna come by for dinner? I think Boo-Boo is in love with you?" You rolled your eyes and got up, shrugging when he shook his head, "oh well, you don't know what you're missing," you locked your elbows with Mikey and strolled off.

Once you were out of the station you let off a sigh and felt blush creeping on your cheeks.

"That's why you don't mind him arresting you, isn't it?" Mikey noted after seeing your face, "sheesh girl, if you like him, you have to come clean about it,"

"It's not so easy," you argued, "first: I actually don't like him, but if I did, hypothetically speaking, if I did, then he's just a stuck up police cookie, who would never like a gang leader,"

"Uhuh, you sure?"