I'm listening to Marg for the first time right now. Holy cow. Goooood shit, yo. I just left lunch early to go to the IMC like I always do. I lasted longer today than I normally do, though, by like 8 minutes. Probably because the food and conversation wasn't awful like usual. We talked about net neutrality and because it was drawing attention from some assholes nearby I decided to go "Republicans" (dab) "can" (dab) "suck" (dab) "my" (dab) "dick". Their faces didn't show they were too thrilled about that.
Speaking of republicans, holy shit, I hate the people at my school.
Evan, who had been making jokes about terrorist attacks a minute prior, asking Mr. Benter: "What would you say if I told you I had an IQ of 163?"
- I'd say you're living proof IQ doesn't measure actual intelligence.
Reeser called the other asshole Jake who always looks like he has hemorrhoids a "faggot" yesterday and I'm still pissed off about it. I don't know how to interject myself into a conversation to tell them to shut the fuck up though.
I'm in the mood to start an argument. Specifically, an argument about God. Whenever we reference god in AP Language from now on I'm going to talk about "Well, if god was actually real then..." and other things that subtly subvert expectations and piss people off. Fuck God. Fuck organized religion in general.
Ryland looks cute today. Red is a really good color on him, even though he says he hates it so much. I like his hair, it's curly today. His chapters have been making me really "smile emoji" recently. I don't remember exactly how smile emoji came to be a term we both use, but it's okay, it's endearing, albeit cringy if taken out of context. But that's kind of everything, anyways, cringy.
I'm not really sure what this is about right now, it's kind of just stream of consciousness. But not in any obscure way like it sometimes is. I guess that means my brain is doing okay? That I'm actually thinking in full sentences. I need to go pick up my medication today after school. My dad thinks that's why I'm having these headaches. Last night he told me I've been snapping at him recently and that makes me sad because he doesn't deserve that. I finally finished my art project though, things aren't so completely overwhelming anymore.
I have to go to my language class next hour and listen to other people's presentations. I'm bored just thinking about it. I don't want to think about school anymore, change of subject.
The cuts on my fingers have lasted longer than I ever expected but at least they're fading. I hope they don't scar, it would be such a shitty thing to have on me. "S T A Y" on each knuckle, what was I even thinking? Well, okay, I know what I was thinking. I just resent that I have to remember that night/day by the letters on my fingers. My hands aren't great already, I almost always have bloody fingertips because I cause hangnails and then rip them off. There's another cut on my ring finger from the x-acto knife I used for my art project. My knuckles are weird looking since I pop them so often. I have deep creases on the inside of my fingers. I can just tell I'm going to get arthritis when I'm older. Alzheimers too. I hate alzheimers, it's one of my biggest fears. I don't want to forget anything, I want to keep conscious until my consciousness inevitably goes away forever. I feel like since I'm so afraid of it that means I'm kind of destined to get it. That's how things seem to work out for me.
Maybe it's just a self-fulfilling prophecy and my perspective on that is actually why I'm going to get it. Who knows. It doesn't matter.
I've been going through an Interpol phase recently. I've listened to them a lot the past two days, I don't know why. I saw Banksy's police car on Ms. Angus' calendar yesterday when I was picking the Pandora station and I almost picked The Police, but for some reason I went with the international police instead?
The bell rang, and I feel like everyone is watching this, even though I guess that's a pretty narcissistic assumption. Anyways, that's it.
On second thought, I turned around and someone ACTUALLY WAS READING THIS.
